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My girlfriend hangs out with her ex all the time.

Walker

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So, my girlfriend hangs out with her ex all the time. No, I don't think she's liable to cheat or, I don't know, blow him behind a 7-11. But it bugs the hell out of me.

Is it just me or is this legitimately irritating?
 

Dark Drakan

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Always going to annoy you but the more of a deal you make about it the more of a big deal it will become.
 

Tsuyu

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Is she getting physical with him? As in touching him on the shoulder and whatnot when they hang around?
 

Lenop

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This is something I know a great deal about, from experience. Lessons learned the hard way. Learn from my mistakes so that you do not make them yourself. That is what all us old folk hope for, that the life-illiterate younglings among us learn a thing or two from us.

So, here's the scoop. The issue, at its core, is one of trust. Not saying you don't trust her, not at all. I'm saying you don't trust him. Nor should you. I assume you don't know him. You don't hang out with him. If you did it'd be less of an issue, right? Note on that later. What you need to do is communicate with your girlfriend instead of us on the forums. Forums are a bad place for relationship advice. If we had successful relationships, we'd be somewhere else, presumably with our boyfriends and girlfriends having copious amounts of unprotected sex.

But yes, talk to your girlfriend, express your concern. The way to do this, and this is important, is to have her ask what's bothering you. Because if you bring it up on your own then you're just crazy and jealous. So just clam up, be distracted or whatever and she'll eventually ask. If she doesn't, there's a red flag right there and I'll let you draw your own conclusions and solutions.

Other options. I had a "friendcrush" some time ago. I wanted a completely platonic relationship with a girl. I got it too, after a long and somewhat awkward period of "friendcourting". The friendship is great, but it painted her boyfriend's face all shades of jealous. So, solution, become his best friend. Now we're a threesome. It's a party now. He trusts me to not do anything inappropriate because he knows me, he trusts me, we're friends. What I'm suggesting is simple, perhaps you can befriend this guy too. If he's not open to your invitation, the olive branch, the bridge of friendship that you want to build, he probably just wants to lay your girlfriend and is bad news for you.

Option B, the nuclear option. I was with a girl ages ago, and I was super jealous of her hanging out with a friend. They hadn't been together, but I didn't know him, I didn't like the way he looked at her, I didn't like the way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he walked, I didn't like him. I feigned indifference, and I am amazing at feigning, but it bothered me terribly. She came to me and asked if I was the sort to get upset if she hung out with other guys, as we were seven days into our relationship, we were still getting a feel for each other and she didn't want to chase me off. "No it's cool" I said. That afternoon I dove into a relationship with her best friend, and the following morning I ended the relationship I had with her. How this played out over the long run, my then ex-girlfriend went with the new beau and I went with her friend. All involved parties eventually break up. The new beau marries the best friend, the ex-girlfriend moves to the west coast to be with her online boyfriend that she's had the whole time, I ended up with the best friend's new best friend.

TL;DR - Don't make my mistakes. The best solution is to just man up and talk to your chick. Search your feelings Walker, you know it to be true.
 

HobbeBrain

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Lenop hit the nail on the head, basically.
 

ScareCrowReturn

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Its perfectly normal to be irritated, that man once had some sort of relationship similar to you with the lady that you're now dating.

Im not the right person to talk to about this issue, I get irritated with people easily, just because everyone else apart from me is useless.

nuf said
 

Zarkes

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She be cheatin' fewl.
 

Angel

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What Lenop said.

Also, when you go to the forum page, this thread says, "My girlfriend hangs out with..." and then the name of whoever posted last. Imagine my confusion and morbid curiosity when it appeared your girlfriend spends all her time with Zarkes...
 

Walker

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What Lenop said.

Also, when you go to the forum page, this thread says, "My girlfriend hangs out with..." and then the name of whoever posted last. Imagine my confusion and morbid curiosity when it appeared your girlfriend spends all her time with Zarkes...


Discovering this fact makes this entire thread worth it.

Excellent advice, I'll go ahead and slash the dude's tires.
 

Arseface

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You gotta get back at her for betraying you like this. She likes him? You gotta make a move on him.

Imagine how she would feel walking in on you and him in the bedroom. The perfect revenge.
 

Walker

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You gotta get back at her for betraying you like this. She likes him? You gotta make a move on him.

Imagine how she would feel walking in on you and him in the bedroom. The perfect revenge.


Arse, I want you to know that I can't like your post without seeming, like, totally, super gay, but I laughed my scrawny ass off.

Or, well, giggled a bit. Much funnier than my threat to just go hang out with his best friend the next time she and he bonded.
 

Arseface

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Arse, I want you to know that I can't like your post without seeming, like, totally, super gay, but I laughed my scrawny ass off.

Or, well, giggled a bit. Much funnier than my threat to just go hang out with his best friend the next time she and he bonded.

Ily.




But seriously, make a move.
 

Walker

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I'm sorry, dude, but I've seem pictures of your girlfriend on facebook. She seems like the type to have legions of vicious Australian wildlife at her command.

And I KNOW that my girlfriend has a legion of carefully trained polar bears at her beck and call. I ain't ****ing NEITHER of them off.

Also, your tits are too small.
 

L0ki

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I'd just tell her how you feel. The thing about ex's, through my experiences, is if they remain friends and hang out on a regular basis, there's a chance for feelings to resurface. It's best to be prevented. Again, I'm only speaking out of experience with past girlfriends, but it could also just be that I've been with some raunchy broads.

Anyway, if she really loves you, she'd respect your feelings.
 

L0ki

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