A new hope

[killerequinox]

A new hope

Well...I know I should be working on my first story, but I think this one will be better. I know it's short right now. This is the very beggining of it. I'm working on the first chapter now

The land of Albion is no longer a peaceful land as it once was. A new era has arisen. The population has decreased exponentially due to the lack of land, food, live stock, and fresh water. Villagers soon joined up into groups, made of only a select few that are either strong or intelligent. They created camps on the outskirts of villages, most of the camps were created near roads were bandits could grab passing traders and steal their wares. Villages started diminishing due to economic imbalance. When villages no longer had authority, balvarines broke through the defenses and terrorized the townspeople within. Balvarines toyed with the townspeople for long periods of time until they finally grew tired and hungry. Within all this chaos there lived a boy named Nostro. This is his story.

 

[Warpedhero]

Re: A new hope

Nice opening. Can't wait for the rest!

 

[0cean v0id]

Re: A new hope

>.< a new hope is the fourth star wars movie...
lmao nice story though!
Do we have a future bard here?

 

[Jaap]

Re: A new hope

I couldnt have done it better!
You actually make me want more
Good job, You got yourself a fan.
​

 

[killerequinox]

Re: A new hope

Damn you havn't even seen chapter one yet lol.

 

[killerequinox]

Re: A new hope

I woke up at 7 am this morning so I could finish the chapter for you guys enjoy!


Chapter one— A rough night


It was a dark and foggy night. The wind was soft and cool on my face. I had my eyes closed. I was enjoying the breeze, and the sound of the plants around me swaying softly, making a peaceful rustling sound. I could hear the sound of villagers going about their own business, walking from house to house; engaging themselves in pointless conversations. Small children where running around laughing and playing. This village maintained its wealth and was still thriving. Towns like this were very rare, and you don’t find them easily. Villages like these were also very well protected. I had something to prove today. Me and four other bandits were going to raid this happy little town, stealing a dozen boxes of amethyst and get back to our well-hidden camp, deep in the forest, east of orchard farm, at the edge of the mountain side.

Someone patted my shoulder roughly.
“What are you doing Nostro?” he asked me with his deep, rough voice. Every time he spoke it reminded me of death.

“I’m waiting for the right moment,” I replied, frowning at his lack of patience.

“And when will that moment come?” he asked, brutishly.
“Just let me have a moment to think it through,” I said, crossing my arms.

“What’s there to think about? It’s just a raid. We can run in there, kill the guards, loot the houses, and….”

“No! It’s not that simple!” I snapped. Bandits were always being so incompetent. Sure they were strong, but with little going on inside their tiny little brains, they would never survive in this land. For example, if five bandits surrounded one balvarine, the beast would rip them all to pieces without taking any damage itself. The bandits wouldn’t know what hit them until it was too late. The group I was with right now just stood around staring at me doing stupid things like grabbing their crotch. I knew this would not be an easy task.

“Ok, here’s the plan,” I said, gathering them around. I picked up a small, pointy stick, and drew the village, and the route we would take to get in, unnoticed. I explained to them as clearly as I could what we were going to do. “Remember, stick to the plan and everything should work out just fine.” The words I spoke did not make me feel at ease. I felt as if everything would go wrong. But I pushed the thought from my mind. “Let’s get moving.”

We were traveling through the forest on the eastern side of the village. The far off sound of a balvarine growl startled us. We paused for a minute and examined our surroundings carefully. Nothing happened. We started moving again. All of a sudden from the right, something passed in front of me at high speed, colliding with a tree a foot away. I glanced over to the tree were the unknown object had made impact, to find an arrow deep in the bark. I rolled behind a tree quickly.

“Were compromised,” I shouted furiously. “What are you guys waiting for? Get some cover!” I cried out. But it was already too late for three of them. The raining of arrows lasted for ten or more seconds, piercing the already dead bandits in every possible spot on their bodies. The last two surviving bandits: me….and….Rivex, the bandit who reminded me of the dead, with his appearance and his voice. Rivex was intelligent and strong like me, so it was no surprise that he had survived the volley of arrows. Rivex walked out of his cover, stood facing the 30 guards, and flipped them off. Another shower of arrows came down on him. He may be strong and intelligent, but he was too boastful for my liking.

He used force push. A wave of super energy exploded from him. The arrows that should have made quick work of him, went flying in all different directions. A group of the arrows came straight for me. I jolted behind a tree, narrowly avoiding them. Rivex did a little dance, stopped, did the kiss my a** sign, charged up a massive fire ball, and threw it into the center of the guards. Surprisingly all of the guards were either killed or unconscious.

He turned to me and bowed, “Shall we continue?”

We both grabbed a guard suit and made our way up to the front gate of the village. When we got there, a tall, heavily armored man was blocking the path into the village. He looked far from friendly with his rough face and other dark features. He had the look of a man that had won many battles. I could tell he was one of the high ranking officers, if not by his looks, by the insignia of a black and red fireball painted on his bright chest plate. And the second we got too close he pulled out his bow. It was endowed with some magical power that made it glow a bright misty blue.

“Why are you not in your assigned archer group?” he asked, giving a signal to some guards that had concealed themselves up in towers. I looked up the east tower to see how many were hiding up there. It was morning now and the sun was rising, making it very difficult to see. I could make out a few figures that were silhouetted by the sun. Then I noticed something in my peripheral vision. The head-guard had moved his large, master bow into firing position and pulled back the blood-thirsty arrow. The blue mist that was traveling around his bow increased tenfold, and was then sucked into the arrow at rapid speed, almost as if a void had opened up on the arrow and engulfed the power that was once part of the bow. He pointed the bow directly at my chest.

I cast my lightning at the guard, and I could feel Rivex charging up his fireball spell next to me. I cursed out loud when he absorbed my lightning somehow. How was this possible? I remembered what I had learned from my father so long ago. I cast my lightning at him again, only a small amount this time. The lightning charged like a raging bull right for his mid-section. Then, just what I had feared. The spell jumped into his arrow a second before impact, leaving him unharmed, and his arrow more powerful.

Simultaneously, the guards in both overlooking towers fired their arrows, the leading guard shot his extremely powerful arrow at my chest, and Rivex shot a smoldering ball of destruction at each tower. The arrows above were disintegrated, as Ridex’s massive boulders of fire stopped for nothing to reach the helpless guards above. The fireballs crashed into the towers and caused a huge shockwave that knocked us all back. As for the arrow that was about to impale me, I did my best to dodge out of the way, but it pierced itself deep in my right arm, splitting the bones like they were twigs. I dropped to the ground in severe pain from my disabled arm, but the worst of the pain had yet to come. I could see the lightning powers were still confined within the arrow. I grasped the arrow with my left hand.

“I wouldn’t do that,” the guard said.

“What?” I replied with a shaky voice.

“The magic in that arrow is released when you try taking it out,” he told me. “Only a fool would do such a thing. You aren’t going to be hurt severely from the arrow if you take it out. As a matter of fact, you won’t feel any pain at all….because you’ll be dead long before you feel a thing.”

“And why are you telling this to an enemy?” I asked weakly.

“Because I don’t want you dead,” he replied. “I simply want you out of this city.”

“You don’t seem like the type of person to just let an enemy go,” I said.

He gave a hearty laugh. “So it might seem. I’m not all that bad really. All I want is for the village I have lived in for 35 years to be safe,” he explained, making me feel a little bad for what I was here to do.

“Well,” I said. “I appreciate you not killing us. By the way, how am I supposed to get this arrow out without killing myself?”

“Don’t worry. The lightning only lasts a few minutes.”

“Ok, come on Rivex, let’s get out of here.”
I turned away from the gate. A ripple of power cracked through the air. I was knocked to the ground, falling on my injured arm and nearly passing out. I got to my feet quickly to see what happened, ignoring the pain that throbbed all throughout my veins. Rivex had used assassins rush. He was moving so fast it looked as if he teleported from my side over to the guard. I saw the high ranking guard that had just given us permission to leave, drop dead before Rivex.

“Come on Nostro, everyone is taken care of. We can get the boxes and get back to camp.” I didn’t really want him to kill the guard. We could have lived without the boxes. However, the damage was done. To leave now would be an unwise decision.

“Might as well get what we came for, now that there is no one left to stop us,” I said with a sigh, as we walked up and opened the doors to the warehouse. Inside there were many boxes stacked neatly in rows.

“Yeah about that,” he said, pulling his sword out.

“What are you doing Rivex?”

“I’m taking these boxes for myself,” he said, pointing his sword at my throat.

“Calm down, man!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Besides, what work did you do this whole time?”

“Are you serious? I planned, and I would have done something, but you had to destroy everyone and everything that you saw before I had the chance to help!” I yelled at him.

“Yeah, well maybe if you were less of a chicken chaser you could have helped a bit, but you chose to hide and let me do all the work! And that doesn’t matter to me anyways. I was going to kill you all when we got to this point, even if you all did everything in your power to get us here.”

I pulled my sword out but he smacked it out of my hand with his own. He kicked me into a crate and I fell into a sitting position.

“It was nice knowing you, Nostro.” He said. “Sorry it has to end this way.” He put his sword in a good position to make a slash at my throat, and swung with all the power he had. There was no way I could survive....

 

[hobbes_pwn]

Re: A new hope

>.< a new hope is the fourth star wars movie...
lmao nice story though!
Do we have a future bard here?

bard are for updating news not storys, i think it should be stories instead though.

 

[droded]

Re: A new hope

I guess I wasn't the only Star Wars fan attracted to this thread's name.

 

[0cean v0id]

Re: A new hope

LOL exactly i want to write a star wars/fable story that kind of entwines them XD

 

[Jaap]

Re: A new hope

I liked the first part,
You got an amazing style.

Looking forward!
​

 

[killerequinox]

Re: A new hope

I liked the first part,

You got an amazing style.​

Looking forward!​

Thanks Jaap! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you like the next!
I'll make a chapter two as soon as I get the chance....stupid 9th grade math unit test....maybe I can do homework later and work on my story now :ninja:

 

[0cean v0id]

Re: A new hope

9th year lol that was a weird year for me i had no time for this stuff 9-12 years now im in the University Of Technology in London =D i have even less time but i have no parents to make me go to bed at night XD

 

[killerequinox]

Re: A new hope

9th year lol that was a weird year for me i had no time for this stuff 9-12 years now im in the University Of Technology in London =D i have even less time but i have no parents to make me go to bed at night XD

I'm in online home school. And I'm the only person home all day. So it's all good. I would love to have a place all to myself morning and night, but whatever, I'll live.

And again, thank you for reading
I'm not as good as Darg is at writing. But since I'm still only 15, I have a long time to learn and get better

 

[0cean v0id]

Re: A new hope

indeed mate

 

[queenofdisco]

Re: A new hope

hehe my first fable story was called 'a new hope', for the simple reason I looked around my room to come up with a name, and instantly seen my star wars collection xD

Nice story, keep it up.

Hermit

 

[CinderClaw]

Re: A new hope

PAWSOME

 

[LobotomizedLOVE]

Re: A new hope

Bravo! You're the first writer on here to truly impress me with your work.
Aside from a few grammatical errors here and there, this is very well-written piece. It captures attention with its details and characters, it's not overly generic, and it's not a solid wall. You did a good job breaking it up how you did.

 

[III888]

Brass air fittighttp://www.liangdianup.com/subpages/airfitting_1.htm

Now that is a lot of brass air fittings there is just about every type
of air fitting that you could want. Wholesale prices too. I guess these could be used as small water pipe fitting also. I
used some of the parts to make my babington wvo bu

 

[GMRauru]

Re: A new hope

This thread is 3 freaking months old, don't bump them.