The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

[imacheater2k7]

The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Please note that this takes place after the original Fable's final boss.

The Ace of Blades
Chapter 1
​

Our young hero has just defeated Jack of Blades. Deciding for ultimate evil, he has slain his sister and kept the Sword of Aeons. Now that he is without family in the land of Albion, he is the supreme ruler of the land. He spares no one, not even his own minions, if they disagree with him. He does not accept insolence, and he hesitates not to kill any who stand in his path. Upon conquering all the land, he dubbed himself The Ace of Blades. He commands an army the size of Bowerstone's population, but it does not stop him, for he is the most powerful being of the world. But from another world. . . that is a different story . . .
The Guildmaster, who once was more powerful than Ace, is now dead. But a stronger force than our hero, now villainous tyrant, could ever imagine was coming. Moments before his death, the Guildmaster accessed a special device: The Godsend Pendant. Using this, he transported himself to another land, known as Astria to call for help from the great heroes. Astria is the alternate dimension of Albion, and the greatest being there is a hero by the name of Hannah Grey. Upon defeating the world's most terrifying being, Hannah spared her brother's life and cast the Sword of Eternity into the transdimensional rift. The Guildmaster requested Hannah's help in the land of Albion.
Hannah is now disguised as a peasant in the town of Bowerstone as a fair lady by the name of Amanda. She goes to the castle, built soon after Ace's reign began, to speak with the king about town affairs. Upon reaching the castle, two guards halted her.

"What is your name, peasant?" the guards inquired gruffly simultaneously.

"I am Amanda, I hail from the village of Bowerstone, and I wish to speak with the king." she replied.

"The king does not speak with mere peasants, so leave."

"Let her in." Ace's voice came from the doorway behind the guards.

"But, sir. . ."

Ace burst open the door and cut the guard's throat with his blade. "I said, let her in."

"Thank you, sir. 'Tis such an honor."

"State your business, madam, and do so quickly. I have little time to waste. Are you worth my time?"

"Yes sir, I am here about our village's food supplies."

"Are they not plentiful enough?"

"No, sir, we are only sent one barrel of whine and a crate of bread monthly. We are starving."

"That's already more than you need. Now, begone. You are NOT worth my time."

"Yes, sir." she turned to leave. After taking five steps, she turned to see Ace and the other guard walking back in the door. She quietly followed him in, and pulled a blade that was strapped to her leg out from under her dress. As soon as went through the door, Ace said "Are you testing my patience, madam?" She didn't reply, frantically trying to put the sword back into her dress. Ace turned around and stated "Madam, if you don... what were you planning with that blade?"

"Nothing sir."

"Guards, seize her!" In moments, Hannah was surrounded by guards. She pulled her blade back up to her waist, waiting for a guard to try to grab her. A guard unsheathed his sword and rushed towards her...

Find out what happens in Chapter 2!​

 

[Walker]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Sigh... the title sound interesting, so I read it. I dislike it (somewhat), but I have several semi-constructive comments:

First: Any particular reason that, by wild chance, the female Hero of an alternate world looks enough like Lady Gray to fool anyone?

Second: Did you purposefully name your protagonist in such a way to recall Joanna Dark, from Perfect Dark, or was that just incidental?

Third: How is Joanna/Lady Gray Good (and not Evil) if she's fighting by assassination?

Fourth: Please, I beg of you-- change your names! Reversing "Albion" and "Aeons" to get your names, in addition to being incredibly uncreative, reduces the name of the Sword to nonsenscical babble. Other things, like the Golden Guild Seal, could also perhaps use some work.

Fifth: This is an interesting idea, and you write fairly well. Since I already started doing so, I'll probably keep reading so. It has decent readability, and is actually entertaining (to some degree, at least).

 

[imacheater2k7]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Thanks for the criticism. Here are a few answers.

1.) Yes, her name is supposed to resemble Joanna Dark, nice of you to notice.

2.)The names are reversed for a reason, it's the opposite alternate dimension of Albion. FYI, the sword's name is pronounced "No-ay-uh", if you can understand that crappy pronunciation lister.

3.) I know from experience that you do NOT have to be evil to fight with stealth.

4.) Yes, she does resemble Lady Grey. You find out why later.

I think I'll +Rep you for your good, though somewhat mean, criticism. Everyone needs a good critic.

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Assassination is but another way to kill - be it for good or evil. :ninja:

Anyhow, nice story! Nice to see some reference to Lady Gray, I love that coldhearted.... wench.

 

[Walker]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Hmmm... yes, assassination is just another way to kill. You, and maybe even I could make a case that it is no better and no worse than any other. However, assassination is almost always considered immoral. It's also rather stupid, if slightly less cowardly, to do it imperson at short range, with a big weapon. Hell, they're supposed to be married-- wouldn't it make more sense for her to stab him with a convenient knife as they lay in bed together?

And no, fighting from stealth is not bad-- I'm a really old school American: standing up in pretty lines or big huge fortresses is plain stupid. What you want to do is hit them from cover and in the back. But sending someone to assassinate the leader is still usually considered wrong/Evil.

Um... no, I said that the word was nonsenscical, which (unless I misspelled it) means that it made no sense. "Sword of Aeons" means "Sword of Eternity", or "Sword of Years", or "Sword of Centuries", or something like that. Noea, on the other hand, has no meaning known to me. Albion becoming Noibla also makes little sense. If you know anything about alternate reality/universe fiction, what possible reason could there be for the name being the same thing backwards?

Oh, and my critiques were not meant to be mean. I did not think it was/is, sorry if you heard it that way. Thanks for the reputation.

 

[FableFreak]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

This is so wierd, I was just listening to Motorheads "Ace of Spades" and I was thinking that it would go awesome with a Jack of Blades Fable Video...

 

[imacheater2k7]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

No. The Sword of Aeons does not mean eternity. The Sword of EONS would, but not Aeons. Sorry, just correcting that.

 

[imacheater2k7]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Hopefully this new version of the story is better than the original, because I think it is. I revised many of the names (Thanks to Walker for the Eternity idea), and made the storyline play out much more interestingly.

 

[Dominov]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

I just want to point out something. Aeon does mean eternity or forever, eon is just a different spelling.

 

[Walker]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Much, much better. More realistic. Better-written to some degree. Naming much improved.

Still have one question: why did she try to pull her sword, then try to put it back? If she was attacking, why wouldn't she just do so?

And out of curiosity, how did she fit a big sword down her dress along her leg?

And yeah, Dominov is right. "Aeons" is just a different spelling of "eons".

See dictionary.com definitions of aeon and eon. It also, apparently, means something other things as well as well. However, I suspect my definition to be most valid here:

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source ae·on

(ē'ŏn', ē'ən) Pronunciation Key
n. Variant of eon.

Note: It took up too much space so Ii deleted some of them go to the site to see the others. Apparently eon derived from aeon.

Aeon - Definitions from Dictionary.com

eon - Definitions from Dictionary.com

 

[imacheater2k7]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Still have one question: why did she try to pull her sword, then try to put it back? If she was attacking, why wouldn't she just do so?

And out of curiosity, how did she fit a big sword down her dress along her leg?
[/URL]

1.) She was still going to use stealth to kill him. As you can see, that didn't work so well. It didn't because it seems to please your seemingly anti-stealth attitude.

2.) Your picking the story apart now. You're not supposed to worry about how. I would have wrote dagger, but this is Fable we're talking about.

That better?

 

[droded]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Pretty good...

 

[Walker]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Okay... I would, however, like to point out that I'm not against killing by stealth-- but I am somewhat against the method of warfare wherein you fight by assassinating the other side's leaders. On the other hand, why kill the soldiers when, all too often, the dictator has conscipted them, and/or they don't really want to be doing what they are. It's very debatable, and way above my metaphorical/philosophical pay grade.

Perhaps I am picking the story apart-- but that's how you refine a story and make it better. And on another note, when writing a story of a videogame, you don't haev to stay THAT honest to the game. For instance, the Halo books have bunches of nukes and missiles and explosives that aren't in the game simply because in reality, if not the game, they would have them.

Edit: And thanks for the reputation.

 

[blu phoenix]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Very nice start to the story. Looking forward to Chapter 2.

 

[imacheater2k7]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 2

I decided to save space and write all the chapters in the same thread.

Chapter 2​

As the guard rushed forward, Hannah, flicked her blade up and thrust it into his chest. He groaned and made a loud thud as Hannah slid him off her bloody blade to the floor. The other four guards rushed her all at once, and she force pushed them away. Upon their impact on the stone floor, Hannah went Berserk. Using her unbelievable strength, she decapitated all four guards then turned to Ace. She rushed towards him, and he stuck his sword in front of him. She leaped over his head and landed behind him, only for him to turn and strike her in the ribs. She fell to the ground. As he raised his blade to kill her, a booming voice came from behind him.

"Ace! Face a true opponent, you coward!" the voice said. Ace turned to see Thunder standing in the doorway. Thunder drew his blade, and Whisper walked in behind him.

"Fools! Do you know who I am?" Ace questioned loudly.

"You, are the Ace of Blades. Soon to become Jack sh..."
Whisper was interrupted as a blade went through her chest. Thunder turned to see a guard plucking his sword from her body. Thunder picked him up and broke his spine over his knee, then tossed him away like a toy.

"You are soon going to regret that, Ace!"

"Time for me to do what I should have done a long time ago. Prepare to meet your downfall!" Ace rushed towards him. Before Thunder even pulled out his blade, Ace rushed him and sliced his sword through his stomach, then he pulled it out and decapitated him. "Foolish man. Nobody defies me! You had this co..."

Hannah had stood up behind him and threw her blade into Ace's back.

"How... is... this.. possible..? Nooo!!!" He fell to his knees. Hannah limped over to him, grabbed his hair, and pulled his head back to face her.

"Never mess with me." She spat in his face. As she began to limp out of the castle, she heard Ace begin to laugh. She turned to see him with the Sword of Aeons and her blade in hand. He continued to laugh, then he threw her blade to the floor.

"Did you truly think YOU could defeat me? What a pitiful attempt at heroism! You are pathetic!" He began slowly walking towards her. She healed herself and summoned ghost swords. Ace summoned his blades as well, and the swords fought each other in the air as he continued to walk towards her. She attempted to Force Push him, but it was futile. She slowed down the time and he did not falter. As she attempted to go berserk, she realized she was spiritually too weak. He grabbed her shoulder, and slit her throat. She fell to the floor, and all hope seemed lost. Suddenly, Ace heard a clanging noise outside.

A dead guard flew into the room from outside. "Hannah!" a young man rushed in. "Don't you dare hurt her more! Back away!"

Hannah looked up, and with the last of her energy, said "Tommy? Run... aw...ay. He's... too.. pow...er..ful." Her head fell over as the life drained out of her. Ace looked up and saw the strangest thing ever. He saw a mirror image of his younger self. As a hero. Tommy was his Alter ego in the other world, and he was Hannah's brother.

As Ace stared at this eerie image of himself, A guard appeared behind Tommy. When the guard attempted to attack him, an arrow flew into his back. Beyond Tommy lay a small army of 50 town guards all banded together to try to take down this evil tyrant.

"So, you think you can defeat me!? You entertain me! Guards! Come here! We have a battle!" Soon there were more than 1,000 of Ace's guards surrounding Tommy's small armada. "Attack!"

Untile Chapter 3!

 

[blue crow]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

Its good i like it.

 

[Sidewayz]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

I like this man its pretty good it could be better but i cant really talk every timei make a fan fic for anything i abandon it after about chapter 20 lol so keep up the good work

 

[kano71]

Re: The Ace of Blades: Chapter 1

wow.. this battle will be epic!