"Well... This is awkward."

[Quistrix]

Alright guys, this is a thread about those painfully awkward moments you've had in your lifetime. Those moments when you just want to back away slowly or bury yourself in a dark pit of shame. We've all had them, so share - if you're brave enough.

As far as awkward moments go, I've had many. Too many, you could say.

One I remember, one that pops into my head as I write this, is when I went to Amsterdam 2 years ago on a school trip. While we were in the line waiting for our passports to be checked, my teacher, aged 40+, who I always felt this weird tension with, approached me and complimented me on my curly hair. My hair was curly due to forgetting to bring my hairdryer with me in my ferry hand luggage. Anyway, he said "I have to say, your hair looks rather lovely like that. You don't mind me saying that do you? You don't feel uncomfortable?" I answered no. But inside I was dying of embarrassment. Everyone in the group was staring and giggling. I could tell that both me and my teacher felt awkward. I just wanted to jump out the window beside me and land flat on the concrete outside. I still shudder when I think about it now. Cringe.

Another time was from school. It was orchestra day, and I had forgotten my violin. 'Cause I'm cool like that. Anyhoo, you're allowed to borrow violins, aslong as they're school owned ones. So, I did so. And as I sat down with the violin, I could feel some of the older, "cooler" kids staring at me. Couldn't figure out why. Then one of the "cool" kids approached me and said "Could I please have my violin back please?" Cue cool kid laughter. Apparently I had commited a huge faux pas. Might not sound bad to you guys, but I felt awkward as hell. Oh the shame.

And finally, one time I fell off my seat. In front of over 200 hundred people. The room was pretty much silent. And then CLANGCLASHBANG I fell off my seat. Everyone was laughing and staring. I laughed too, but I have no idea how I managed to build up the courage to climb out from underneath that table.

So, let's share our stories. Ready, set...GO!

 

[Arseface]

One that comes to mind for me, is one time I was chilling with this girl and the drummer from my band. The girl is a sax player, and me and the drummer were talking about our band, and we got to the subject of adding a horn player, and this girl just says "I'd like to be in a band!" For a bunch of little reasons, me and my drummer friend didn't want her in the band, so we both just kinda stood there saying nothing until someone else came out and changed the subject.

 

[Tsuyu]

I don't really have any. Memory repression is a helluva neat thing.

 

[HeroOfCrapsalot]

There's this girl I really really like ("love" you might call it) and last year we sat together in Physics. My friend in a different period gave the teacher (who is the coolest, kindest old man on the planet) the impression that me and her were dating. He generated so many awkward moments in that class it was kinda ridiculous.

 

[Arseface]

There's this girl I really really like ("love" you might call it) and last year we sat together in Physics. My friend in a different period gave the teacher (who is the coolest, kindest old man on the planet) the impression that me and her were dating. He generated so many awkward moments in that class it was kinda ridiculous.

Oooh, do tell.

 

[Firis]

Talks to beautiful girl for over half an hour, goes well, asks if she wants to go out for a movie, she declines, permanent silence ensues.

I went to the store with my mom, old lady says I got a nice catch and points to my mom.

I accidentally let it slip I was bisexual in front of a friend, immediately had to make them promise not to tell and secured it with a promise of money.

I was hitting on a pretty girl (Not to mention thinking about her at night) then afterwards I found out she had just turned 14, ohmygawd why did my friends just watch while a 17 year old makes semi-smooth passes at a barely 14 year old in a church with his pastor just several feet away.

Any loud fart ever in existence.

 

[HeroOfCrapsalot]

He'd make these scenarios where I was a customer walking into her store thinking, "Wow, that girl is cute, I should talk to her!" Then he'd incorporate physics somehow. Another time he wanted her to run at me and for me to catch her.... we both declined. He also had a lot of fun with our somewhat matching names (Alec & Alex). Still haven't lived that one down.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

I'd recall something fantastic but all those memories are repressed. It's all I can do to consider myself to have been socially adequate 100% of the time.

 

[TRA Rotid]

Any loud fart ever in existence.

Oh I remember one of those during class. Fortunately, I was laughing so hard nobody noticed. On the other hand, I was laughing for no apparent reason so they still looked at me like I was an idiot.

 

[Gikoku]

Anyone here ever get chased by a pack of geese across a park in front of all your classmates?

I was eating a sandwich during recess and there was a goose all by itself, so I threw the little guy a scrap of bread.. big mistake.. He wanted more, so I gave him one last piece and then walked away. Now he's following me and honking loudly, I pick up the pace and try to finish my sandwich at the same time. As he's honking, more geese came swooping down and joined in the chase. Now I'm running and everyone else is beginning to laugh at me.

The geese chase me all over the park, I eventually trip over a rock and into a puddle of mud, but hop back up and kept running towards the playground set. My sneakers are still covered in mud on the wet grass and I slip and lose my sandwich, now they're pecking at my sandwich as one and honking at me. I finally made it atop the jungle gym, covered in mud, my sandwich gone, and all the classmates laughing at me with one of the teachers finally coming over to lend me a hand. Never lived it down, and felt pretty awkward afterwards.

 

[TRA Rotid]

I was chased by a bunch of dogs once, they ganged me, knocked me over and one little bastard stole my hat. Little bastards they were.

 

[Tsuyu]

Anyone here ever get chased by a pack of geese across a park in front of all your classmates?

Oh don't get me started on geese! They're the most foul fowl around, the douchebags of birds. I hate them sooooooo much....

 

[Dentie]

I had it once with a girl when I went out with some friends.

She was like really hot so I was talking to my friends about ehr outside of the club we went too. Was describing how she looked and saying she was really hot and stuff. And then my friends pointed and laughed because she was standing behind me... I wanted to turn back time. But than she said; Well you dont look to bad either.

 

[Tsuyu]

I wanna slap you upside the head for using the word "like" in that fashion, Dentie. Like, totally slap the crap outta you.

Like, totally.

 

[D3m190d]

I wanna slap you upside the head for using the word "like" in that fashion, Dentie. Like, totally slap the crap outta you.

Like, totally.

What if that's what he meant? She was like really hot, not actually really hot.

 

[Tsuyu]

So she was like really hot, as in high temperature?

 

[D3m190d]

So she was like really hot, as in high temperature?

As in, she faked a fever to skip school.

 

[Angel]

Too many of these moments to count but one of my more spectacular ones was the old "flouncing out of the room in a major self-righteous and indignant huff after having a massive rant at someone only to have to slink back in seconds later because I've forgotten my bag" sort of thing.

That and walking into majorly-obvious objects such as post boxes/lamposts/people whilst trying to saunter nonchalantly past someone I really liked.

In fact, most of my days are made up of this sort of thing...

EDIT: in light of Queen's 200-people falling off chair thing, I have to go one better. In front of over 1000 people I completely missed my cue to sing, started too early and instead of just going along with it to save me the HUGE embarrassment, the guy I was singing with just stopped playing his guitar, looked at me and said "no. no no no. NOW we start." I could have cheerfully stabbed him in the face before sinking into the floor FOREVER.

 

[HobbeBrain]

Where do I begin.

Two come to mind right now, there are plenty more though.

First one, there was this girl I was talking to. I only liked her as a friend and all that, no feelings, but she was quite purty and she was upset for some reason, I think it was period pains or something like that. Anyway, I was giving her a hug to comfort her, a nice, friendly gesture of supporting my friend.

Then

Basically

I got a massive erection.


IT WAS SO DAMN AWKWARD


I think I span around just in time but I'm still pretttyyyy sure she felt the 'awakening' at least, and I kept on having to shift around a little bit whenever she moved round to get back in the position she was in and ajgasdhgoisfhlsdfhldfhlsfnlhnsfhmrtnrynyr I just had to think of fat old naked men for aaaggggees...

Second time: It must have been last year, or at least early this year, but I was chillin' with my best friend (who goes to another school so I only get to catch up on him on weekends and after school) and I was just getting into the kind of metal/rock/punk scene. He was flicking through his Facebook and he was looking at the music pages he'd liked. Trying to look cool, I picked a band name at random and said "Oh, you like them, they're great!!"

He replied

"Dude that's the band me and my friends started a few days ago"

I felt like dying.

 

[queenofdisco]

That awkward moment I fell off a moving bus, and the more awkward time when two chavs were talking about me falling off the bus on the bus.