A new hero!

[Fanfictioner]

A new hero!

many years after Fable I in the fields of barrow fields lie a small infant named Fastblade born and named by the ancient hero that rid the land of the Jack Of blades and founded the Bowerstone Market. As he lay there he sees the face of his father and mother that were killed by 70 bandits and the group was leaded by the famous bandit Killgore who killed all of his opponents in the Arena. Shortly of after a rebuild team cleaned up the area but when one of the workers Fargoth Fearbringer a heavy gambler who owes money to Killgore found Fastblade and adopted him as his own.years went by Fastblades now 10 and hes helping Fargoth at the bar.
As they worked assassains planned."Listen we must kill him steathy we dont want his son to see us." "Agreed , we do this tommaro when he is going home drunk we have to tackle him and if he dont have his money he'll be a dead man....

this was the prolouge should i make more?

 

[Cobalt Gamer]

Re: A new hero!

I think if its a story u shunt say many years after fable 1 instead say somet along the lines of " many years after the fall of jack" or somet.

 

[Fanfictioner]

Re: A new hero!

The next night, Fargoth got rich from gambling and made 1,000,000 coins but spent 957,000 coins on beer. When walking home the Assassains followed their plan just as Fargoth reached the door they tackled him. He pleaded for his life but they told hm they need 43,001 and he only had 43,000 just as the Assassains were about to shank Fargoth the Guards arrived with Fastblade. Both sides fought valiantly but the Assassains poison daggers destroyed the Guards. When all hope was lost Fastblade picked up the Guards weapons but what he did was a shame. He sliced Fargoths throat and left with the assassains.

Chapter 2 is coming soon

 

[Fanfictioner]

Re: A new hero!

Ever since that day he has been in the villans guild a new place where they train evil. Finally a couple of years later he could leave and begin his life as a bounty hunter but before he went off he switched his name to The Dark Sniper. After his first few days on his own he had a nice home in Bloodstone home of the wretched, that day he got his first job it read

To: The Dark Sniper

I need my neighbor taken care of , he keeps smiling at me and my wife and it has to stop he lives at 231 Meat street you can shoot from my roof and also he wears a chainmail suite and has a halo over his head

Sincearley, Roland Jesrick

When he arrived somtihng awfull happened........ blood was all over the walls . 6 bodies lay bloodied with slash marks across them , in the middle of the room lay a letter it read

I got here and done whats right!
- Whisper

Fastblade has heard of Whisper before he even almost battled her in the war of Dark Lord Clementines village where the most evil creatures live. But he wanted revenge he along with 12 other assassains went to the Heroes Guild and started killing every Apprectice but then the Guildmaster started to morph and become a blueish color "Listen boy , your lucky you have 12 other people or else i would murder you..... but ill still put up a fight!" The assassains rushed , the snipers fired as Fastblade went beserk and slammed the Guildmaster through a wall. Then somthing amazing happened his Father appeared before him "You think im to old to still use the Heroes Guild?" He drew out his sword and the assassains jumped him with posion daggers , poison bolts and Faroth Fastblades real father and most famous hero ever , couldnt take it he collapsed and went into a seizure. Just as he did that the Guildmaster arose weakly but he had rage in his eyes just when he was about to strike a sword beheaded him and his head rolled all over , and blood spilled

next part tommaro!

 

[Lupus]

Re: A new hero!

again good premise but a little spit and polish will go a long way!
Constructive criticism is a great way to improve so listen to your commenters but dont just do something because they say write what you want not what they want! it's your story and your characters =D