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how do you lose weight?

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Stop eating pies and meat and eat apples and celery. Also, there's a sword that causes you to lose weight when you use it, but it requires you to gain weight while you have it equipped before you unlock this effect.
 
Just go to a vendor who sells apples and celery press A to buy, then X to eat it right away. eat as much as they sell, go sleep a couple of nights and return to that shop and repeat.
 
^ As stated above, keep eating the healthy foods like apples and celery.
I'm not sure if you slowly loose weight from running around, maybe!
 
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