I am a hormonal idiot.

[Walker]

I am a hormonal idiot.

Okay, I'm looking for some advice and, presumably, mockery, dealing with typically hormone-addled human maleness and my own ineptitude.

I have known the girl we will refer to as "Alice" since I was 12, and haven't seen her in person since I was 13. But I have continued talking to her online. E-mail and facebook and such. In my junior year of high school I had the brilliant idea of asking her out via e-mail, and got a "my mom is overprotective, maybe when I graduate high school," response, which, in my saner moments, I am convinced was simply let-him-down-gentle-ness. Recently, in a slightly more subtle frame of mind, I gave her my phone number and said, hey, I'm feeling sociable, call me if you want to do something sometime. I got back a reply saying that we could hang out when she had free time, but she didn't have transport. I replied that I could give her a ride. I have heard nothing. My dilemma is that I had only heard from her in that span of time when she was up at a hotel with high speed internet, and at home she has essentially useless dialup.

So, am I clinging to the past like the creepy sonuva***** I suspect myself to be?

I have know the girl I will refer to as "Brittany" since last year, when she did Relay for Life with me. I find her very attractive, and she's... nice, and I got along with her. But, unlike Alice up there, I don't have a damn thing in common with her. She drinks and parties and all that ****... and I don't. I read and game and generally get my nerd on. She doesn't. (Incidentally, Alice does. She was at the aforementioned hotel because she was at Baltimore's Otakon.)

I have the possibility of doing something sociable with a larger group involving Brittany and am considering specifically talking to her and going into said something sociable with her and being all... well, sociable.

Would I be an idiot to try to do so, with someone who I'm afraid I don't actually like, and would doing that be even dumber than continuing to obsess over the girl I haven't physically seen in seven years?

And yes, I realize that every word of this post slides me neatly into the Angsty Dumbass Socially Inept Nerdboy Slot. But because I occupy that slot so very well, it's not like I can talk about this to anyone I actually know in person. So I'll embarrass myself online to anonymous foreigners instead.

 

[Recycled Human]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Dude, I have nothing but respect for a guy who has tried. You've been persistent, kudos most people don't even try! This chick Alice is probably afraid of change and that change being the one to your relationship. I don't know how detailed or frequent yor correspondence has been but I'd wager enough for you to have some sort of good friendship (penpals aren't the norm anymore...)

So bottom line on Alice, you like her, right? Keep trying till you hear no. But that shouldn't stop you from having fun. No one said you have to pick one that your heart belongs to now, your first priority should be figuring out if Brittany digs you. She seems to as she's willing to party with you. I say go, have fun. And if you find out you have more in common with Brittany than you think (or maybe opposites attract) then you're no worse for wear.

Good luck!

 

[Gikoku]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Alice sounds like a good girl, but she's probably making excuses or simply playing you because she may not be interested in you in "that way". I wouldn't recommend being persistent on Alice as it could run the risk of damaging your normal friendship. Being persistent could have you come off as creepy or annoying, and you don't want that.

I'd take a pass on Brittany, when I would go for women I'd often go for those I had something in common with, easier that way (especially in the long run) than someone I have nothing in common with even though they may be a nice person. Some people like the challenge of finding someone who is the opposite of them, buuut I don't.

 

[Necromancer]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Maybe spend some time with each of them and see how you feel about them afterward. If you end up having feelings for either one of them, they'll surface soon enough if you do that. I speak from very recent personal experience on that. Then, if you decide you like one of them especially, go for it. If it doesn't work out, you can always try the other one if you want to.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Alice sounds like a good girl, but she's probably making excuses or simply playing you because she may not be interested in you in "that way". I wouldn't recommend being persistent on Alice as it could run the risk of damaging your normal friendship. Being persistent could have you come off as creepy or annoying, and you don't want that.

I'd take a pass on Brittany, when I would go for women I'd often go for those I had something in common with, easier that way (especially in the long run) than someone I have nothing in common with even though they may be a nice person. Some people like the challenge of finding someone who is the opposite of them, buuut I don't.

this. seriously, this.
i took this route with my first girlfriend when i was 17 and never regretted it. similar situation to yours. i wanted to game, she wouldn't let me. so i cut it off... maybe there was a little more to it than that but you get the idea. guess what happened to her? her parents kicked her out of the house for being ****ed up all the time, she got sent to rehab in virginia for a serious extacy problem. then, she met some other guy there and they both ran off to mexico together. i heard all of this from her best friend who i loosely stayed in touch with.
long story shot: listen to scott here walker. do it. you may feel like an asshole for all i know, but to use one of the most overused phrases here: there are plenty of fish in the sea. fish that have more in common with you for that matter.

 

[Arseface]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

I'd go both and see what happens.

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

And yes, I realize that every word of this post slides me neatly into the Angsty Dumbass Socially Inept Nerdboy Slot.

It's about damn time.

It was getting horribly lonely down here!

 

[White_Howler]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Dude, I have nothing but respect for a guy who has tried. You've been persistent, kudos most people don't even try! This chick Alice is probably afraid of change and that change being the one to your relationship. I don't know how detailed or frequent yor correspondence has been but I'd wager enough for you to have some sort of good friendship (penpals aren't the norm anymore...)

So bottom line on Alice, you like her, right? Keep trying till you hear no. But that shouldn't stop you from having fun. No one said you have to pick one that your heart belongs to now, your first priority should be figuring out if Brittany digs you. She seems to as she's willing to party with you. I say go, have fun. And if you find out you have more in common with Brittany than you think (or maybe opposites attract) then you're no worse for wear.

Good luck!

I agree with Recycled Human. If possible, stay in touch with Alice. Be sure to keep your communication with her cuz you never know. But at the same time you should explore the possibilities with Brittany. Even though you may have little in common with one another, the experience could still be good for you.

Alice sounds like a good girl, but she's probably making excuses or simply playing you because she may not be interested in you in "that way". I wouldn't recommend being persistent on Alice as it could run the risk of damaging your normal friendship. Being persistent could have you come off as creepy or annoying, and you don't want that.

I'd take a pass on Brittany, when I would go for women I'd often go for those I had something in common with, easier that way (especially in the long run) than someone I have nothing in common with even though they may be a nice person. Some people like the challenge of finding someone who is the opposite of them, buuut I don't.

It couldn't hurt to see what happens with Brittany, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and he'll have learned something from it. The experience of past relationships does indeed help future ones. Sometimes there may be baggage but that happens, it's life. Not trying is going to hurt more in the longrun.

That said I have to agree with you Scottie. I am with Sephi because we are very much alike, yet have enough differences to make sure things never get old. Then again her and I have a long history, part of which involves her ex...... who gets no further mention. *ahem* Point being, we've been through a lot, before our relationship and dring. If Alice truly wants to take it to the next level like you do, she'll make the effort. But in the event it does happen for you two, and I hope it does, the fact that you've known eachother so long should count for something. Either way, your road is hard to travel and very long friend.

this. seriously, this.
i took this route with my first girlfriend when i was 17 and never regretted it. similar situation to yours. i wanted to game, she wouldn't let me. so i cut it off... maybe there was a little more to it than that but you get the idea. guess what happened to her? her parents kicked her out of the house for being ****ed up all the time, she got sent to rehab in virginia for a serious extacy problem. then, she met some other guy there and they both ran off to mexico together. i heard all of this from her best friend who i loosely stayed in touch with.
long story shot: listen to scott here walker. do it. you may feel like an asshole for all i know, but to use one of the most overused phrases here: there are plenty of fish in the sea. fish that have more in common with you for that matter.

Still, dating someone who is his opposite will give him the experience of that knowledge. Knowing it and experiencing it are two very different things. I had to learn this the hard way.

Walker, You should determine this for yourself to be sure. Follow what you feel you should. But I say go for Brittany for now, see if you like the opposite thing or if it's too difficult or stressful. Chemistry is more than a word or fake horoscope feature, it's a real thing. Sephi and I mix well; our emotions, perspectives, ideals, and beliefs clash sometimes, but also fit together like a puzzle. It's hard to explain, but chemistry is very important and it means much more than sexual energy.

It's about damn time.

It was getting horribly lonely down here!

*raises hand* My name is Branden and I'm an emo.

 

[Walker]

Re: I am a hormonal idiot.

Thank you all for your advice.

I've come to the conclusion that I'll try to be sociable with Brittany, see what happens, and see whether Alice bothers to call me or e-mail me or anything.

And hell, if Brittany starts ****ing me off, I can always be my usual irritating self until she goes away.

Hey! Don't be implying any similarity between me and them there emos. Me, I realize when I'm being a hormone-addled dumbass. I don't wallow in it. Really! All appearances to the contrary.

And yeah, I know that opposites can attract. My sister and brother are both dating people who are kind of their polar opposites in a lot of ways. Politics and sociability, for one. But I'll see.