D
Darg
Guest
Inspiration of the Ranting Soul
Okay, perhaps just by blind, random inspiration, but I came up with a poem awhile ago I just thought I'd get some opinions on. Feel free to be brutally honest, as I'm always open to criticism. This little thingamajig is aptly titled:
The Whole World
The whole world is now at rest,
Facing trials, a dead mans quest,
The brave, the bold, the few,
The good at heart, the righteous crew,
Alive and well, here at home,
Where at all will you roam,
Silver eye, torn in two,
The whole world envies you,
Black machine, deeper dark,
The whole world is ready on its mark,
White platoon, marching on,
The whole world hears this song,
Green with jealousy, rising up,
The whole world is corrupt,
Red coals burn, the souls unleash,
The whole world gives unto each,
Blue lit moon, silent calm,
The whole world knows this psalm,
Colors of a new dawn come alone and yet,
Cannot match, cannot escape fate’s net,
Spider webs, hawk’s spread wings,
And in the dark, other things,
Fire and flames, no remorse,
Take the way but not stay the course,
Never better, seems to be,
The whole world hates me,
Always there, never alone,
The whole world is your home,
Finding and striving for something great,
The whole world is a tad too late,
Ignorant and knowing all in one,
The whole world is undone,
Full in mind, weak at heart,
The whole world falls apart,
Lies ascending, truth shall die,
The whole world can’t see eye to eye,
Blazing cavalry with courage marches on,
To face their fates, all far gone,
Lords and kings, their false crowns fall,
And with dead spirits, they are too weak to crawl,
Ashes smolder let alone burn,
They tried to teach but couldn’t learn,
Energy, life anew,
The whole world is ready for you,
Courage to carry on,
The whole world is your front lawn,
Fury of the wildest chase,
The whole world is in haste,
Beauty of the old world’s scorn,
The whole world is now reborn,
Wisdom of the ages profound,
The whole world is with gold crowned,
Love that defies all blackened darkness,
The whole world is now again at rest,
And our fates are not decided in the end,
The lasting silence, the hand that lends,
The blatant truth is cast down,
And the world is anew renowned,
Because at nightfall on the last day,
We will all know it was our world, our way,
The fires die and our souls thrive,
And the whole world will survive.
And there you have it. Comment as you see fit and if it's liked, there may be more! =] If it isn't, I won't disturb everyones' minds any further. So...
Okay, perhaps just by blind, random inspiration, but I came up with a poem awhile ago I just thought I'd get some opinions on. Feel free to be brutally honest, as I'm always open to criticism. This little thingamajig is aptly titled:
The Whole World
The whole world is now at rest,
Facing trials, a dead mans quest,
The brave, the bold, the few,
The good at heart, the righteous crew,
Alive and well, here at home,
Where at all will you roam,
Silver eye, torn in two,
The whole world envies you,
Black machine, deeper dark,
The whole world is ready on its mark,
White platoon, marching on,
The whole world hears this song,
Green with jealousy, rising up,
The whole world is corrupt,
Red coals burn, the souls unleash,
The whole world gives unto each,
Blue lit moon, silent calm,
The whole world knows this psalm,
Colors of a new dawn come alone and yet,
Cannot match, cannot escape fate’s net,
Spider webs, hawk’s spread wings,
And in the dark, other things,
Fire and flames, no remorse,
Take the way but not stay the course,
Never better, seems to be,
The whole world hates me,
Always there, never alone,
The whole world is your home,
Finding and striving for something great,
The whole world is a tad too late,
Ignorant and knowing all in one,
The whole world is undone,
Full in mind, weak at heart,
The whole world falls apart,
Lies ascending, truth shall die,
The whole world can’t see eye to eye,
Blazing cavalry with courage marches on,
To face their fates, all far gone,
Lords and kings, their false crowns fall,
And with dead spirits, they are too weak to crawl,
Ashes smolder let alone burn,
They tried to teach but couldn’t learn,
Energy, life anew,
The whole world is ready for you,
Courage to carry on,
The whole world is your front lawn,
Fury of the wildest chase,
The whole world is in haste,
Beauty of the old world’s scorn,
The whole world is now reborn,
Wisdom of the ages profound,
The whole world is with gold crowned,
Love that defies all blackened darkness,
The whole world is now again at rest,
And our fates are not decided in the end,
The lasting silence, the hand that lends,
The blatant truth is cast down,
And the world is anew renowned,
Because at nightfall on the last day,
We will all know it was our world, our way,
The fires die and our souls thrive,
And the whole world will survive.
And there you have it. Comment as you see fit and if it's liked, there may be more! =] If it isn't, I won't disturb everyones' minds any further. So...