Once again I'm in need of your help!

[Cobalt Gamer]

Once again I'm in need of your help!

Okay I haven't cheated on my girlfriend, gotten back with said girlfriend then gotten heavily depressed about her dumping me or broken my penis this time, I have constipation, the really bad kind. I am in SO much pain, I need advice on how to get rid of this and take a dump, someone help!

 

[Shirosaki]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Drink lots of water and sit on the toilet with a good book.

 

[Cobalt Gamer]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Drink lots of water and sit on the toilet with a good book.

That was the first thing I tried, but to avail :/ I just ended up with even worse pain until I pee'd all the water out, read alot of my english lit book though :]

 

[Steve]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Any chance you could get hold of some ipecac? Take as much as you can. Your friends will have a great laugh.

 

[Shirosaki]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Do you have "rampaging sh*t unicorns"?

 

[Gikoku]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

From this point on, I'd recommend you get more fiber in your diet to prevent any future instances of constipation, soften that stool up.

 

[Cobalt Gamer]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Haha yeah that sounds about right shiro :'] (I'm shortening you name because it's easier to type, but this explanation was longer then your full name, oh I don't even care :])
I cannot, It's 9:54pm so I need home made remedies, my mum suggested coffee which has given my gas T_T I feel so old talking like this D:

To be fair, I don't have much fibre in my diet but I don't have much else, I don't really eat much, however I drink at least 4 liters of coke a day. would that have anything to do with it?

 

[Gikoku]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Haha yeah that sounds about right shiro :'] (I'm shortening you name because it's easier to type, but this explanation was longer then your full name, oh I don't even care :])
I cannot, It's 9:54pm so I need home made remedies, my mum suggested coffee which has given my gas T_T I feel so old talking like this D:

To be fair, I don't have much fibre in my diet but I don't have much else, I don't really eat much, however I drink at least 4 liters of coke a day. would that have anything to do with it?

Drinking that much soda on a daily basis isn't good for anyone. You lack fiber in your diet, thus your stool has become too hard to pass. You can remedy this by eating more fiber-filled foods, such as:

• Oatmeal
• Oatmeal cookies
• Apples
• Whole grain foods

To name a few. As opposed to drinking 4 liters of soda, I'd suggest 4 liters of water (flavored water can be mixed into the count), throw in some OJ & milk if you're not allergic.

But go easy on the fiber count, if you have too much you'll be farting all day and nobody wants that. Try to aim for 15 grams of fiber per day, then work your way up to 20 grams. You'll be alright.

 

[Cobalt Gamer]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Drinking that much soda on a daily basis isn't good for anyone. You lack fiber in your diet, thus your stool has become too hard to pass. You can remedy this by eating more fiber-filled foods, such as:

• Oatmeal
• Oatmeal cookies
• Apples
• Whole grain foods

To name a few. As opposed to drinking 4 liters of soda, I'd suggest 4 liters of water (flavored water can be mixed into the count), throw in some OJ & milk if you're not allergic.

But go easy on the fiber count, if you have too much you'll be farting all day and nobody wants that. Try to aim for 15 grams of fiber per day, then work your way up to 20 grams.

Hmmm I shall take the fiber advice and try eat more and try to cut down on my coke habit.

 

[ScareCrowReturn]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Just get a plunger, see if it works, go on, I know you want to!

 

[Hermit]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

throw in some OJ & milk if you're not allergic.

Drink apple juice, OJ will kill you

 

[Dentie]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Okay I haven't cheated on my girlfriend, gotten back with said girlfriend then gotten heavily depressed about her dumping me or broken my penis this time, I have constipation, the really bad kind. I am in SO much pain, I need advice on how to get rid of this and take a dump, someone help!

srry to say this....
but you got much problems....

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Prune juice.

Drink gallons of it.

 

[The Rh Factor]

Re: Once again I'm in need of your help!

Dude, I feel your pain... well, not at this EXACT moment in time, but we've all been there. The only thing I can think of that no one has brought up yet is maybe eat some greasy food. I don't know about you, but that usually gets me poopin' in no time... Well, ummm, good luck! Here's wishing you some good quality time on the hopper today!