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Smoke from a Cigarette

MazeisMaze

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Have you seen the smoke from a cigarette?
The red light at the end.
The smell of smoke.
The two fingers that hold the cigarette.

Have you seen broken glass?
The shattered pieces scattered all over the floor.
The threatening shapes that stare into you
The hammer that broke it.

Have you seen an old beaten up doll?
The owner it once had.
The love it once had.
The scariness it brings now.

Have you seen the blood on a sword?
The blind lust for violence.
The once living soul.
The once innocent sword.

Have you seen everything?
 

This is my Albion

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Again, great imagery but it doesn't seem fitting for poetry (but thats just my opinion.)

Its quite profound but i think it sounds like an epic trailer for a movie. I really like the last two stanzas though, very chilling.
 

MazeisMaze

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Ya, I noticed that ever since I started my novel I'm getting into stories and ballads. Thanks for the feedback
 

This is my Albion

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Ya, I noticed that ever since I started my novel I'm getting into stories and ballads. Thanks for the feedback

Anytime. Im sorry if i sound harsh.
Although Im really looking forward to your novel now :D
 
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