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The Chuck Norris fact!

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Chuck Norris Fan

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The Chuck Norris fact!

Anyone know about The Legendary god Chuck Norris?

well this is some truth fact about him.

1: If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2: There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

3: Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

4: Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

5: Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

6: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

7: Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

8: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

9: Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

10: Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

11: Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

12: There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
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13: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

14: Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

15: Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

16: Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

17: [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.[/FONT]

18: [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.[/FONT]

19: [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.[/FONT]

20:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.[/FONT]

21:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"[/FONT]

22:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord[/FONT]

23:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.[/FONT]

24:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.[/FONT]

25:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.[/FONT]

26:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.[/FONT]

27:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
[/FONT]
28:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.[/FONT]

29:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.[/FONT]

30:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.[/FONT]

31:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.[/FONT]

32: Son Goku Is the hidden son of Chuck Norris.

33:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.[/FONT]

34:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. [/FONT]

35:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris side only Chuck Norris know how to use the Chuck Norris side.[/FONT]

36:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.[/FONT]

37:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. [/FONT]

38:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.[/FONT]

39:
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.[/FONT]

40: Chuck Norris beat Fable The Lost Chapiter without using 1 experience point and without dying.

Ouff thats was few of em..... hope you like it =P
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

I love this stuff even as old as it is.

Superman Wears Chuck Norris Pajamas

Chuck Norris can make a rock that is so heavy that is can not be lifted and still lift the rock ~Me
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

lol yeah.... i find the most old one i could to ^^ if the people in here love it i try to find some new one
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Or make up your own

Here's one
Chuck Norris knows all the digits of Pi ~ Me
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Lol, that was great + rep!
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

lol yeah here i got one

Sometime when Chuck Norris is bored he call god to play a game of Tennis with meteorite last time he played that game Chuck Norris won but in the same time thats how the dinosaur race is gone. ----> by me XD
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

this proberly sounds real dumb but who the **** is chuck norris
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Chuck Norris once ate four live turtles. When he later crapped them out they were 6 feet tall and knew karate and now go by the names of Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo and Raphael.
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Tsuyu;156888 said:
Chuck Norris once ate four live turtles. When he later crapped them out they were 6 feet tall and knew karate and now go by the names of Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo and Raphael.

LOL! XDDDD :w00t: nice one ^_^
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

:lol: I love Chuck Norris facts.
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Vegeta always have that question *How Son Goku is so strong?* Well is simple each time Son Goku leave *somewhere* and come back 10x stronger is becose each time he go ask Chuck Norris for training.
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad.

When Chuck Norris was born he "knew" the first nurse he saw that was his third that day.

Chuck Norris once through a roundhouse kick so fast it whent back through time and knocked Amelia Earhart's Plane out the sky.
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huck Norris Invented Time travel so he could go back through time and Save President Kennedy. He deflected all 3 bullets with one roundhouse kick. Kennedy's head exploded out of shear amazement.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The building exploded because it contained far to much AWESOME.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. But since Chuck Norris never cries there is no cure.

3 out of 5 people die. Doctors refer to this as the Chuck Norris Syndrome
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Perhaps you have heard of the sun and moon. The are actually chuck's testicles.
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
 
Re: The Chuck Norris fact!

Chuck Norris could get into an 18 club... when he was 3.
 
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