The Laws of Time...
Ok, this isn't really fiction but it wont fit on any other sections on the forum.
My recent thread titled 'Time Paradox' got me thinking, and as I am little but a huge nerd I searched upon teh internets about said subject and found many disputes among equally huge nerds who had posted their theories about time travel.
I decided to lay down the Laws of Time once and for all:
Grandfather Paradox:
Ah, the most common type of paradox ever featured in Time Travel (which is a bit worrying, statistics show that you are 80% more likely to kill somebody if you own a Time Machine).
Anyways, say you went back in time to see your mum (or 'mom' for those Americas) as a child, before she conceived you. Now, you are one of the following:
A) Disturbed
B) Suicidal
C) Stupid
and you kill your mum. However, this means you were never born, so you never built the Time Machine, so you didn't travel back in time, so you didn't kill your mum, so you were born and
This is what will happen:
I can't speak from experience, but you would either disapear in a puff of logic (Douglas Adams), or you would cease to exist in any time but the one you were in now, and the Time Machine would fade away. Don't tell me that isn't right. Why? Coz it is. Proove it isn't. If it's not right, go back in time to before I joined, make this
account and make this thread, but paste a huge 'YOU'RE WRONG, YOU IDIOT!" in the middle. No? Well then.
Tips:
* Borrow a friends Time Machine.
* Don't kill anyone.
The One With Hitler in it:
So, maybe you're jewish or maybe you're very angry, but either way you want to kill Hitler. So, you've built a Time Machine, travelled back in time, and slaughtered the bastard. OOPS!
Without Hitler, no WW2, so you don't get the idea to build the Time Machine and don't go kill him, so he's still alive!
The answer to this is simple - quite obviously, you'd get bounced back to your original time.
HOWEVER
Didn't I say to use a friends Time Machine? Yes, I did, or maybe the reason you made a Time Machine wasn't to kill some one (...). Either way, you kill Hitler and your Time Machine is still there, fully functional, unless I came along and thought yours was better and took it. Now the answer is different: you'd live in an alternate reality where everything would be totally different because you killed Hitler! Maybe you'd be a prostitute! Or a slave in the spice mines of Japan! Or maybe you were licking my feet for a living either way that's pretty bad.
IDIOT
Two You?
Ok. So, what if you're surfin' the space time continuum and you arrive someplace, and bumb into youself!
If it's your past self you bump into, you will have already expierienced it. If it's your future self you meet, then they could tell you some pretty cool stuff (or pretty crap stuff, if you grow up to be a crack - whore).
There is one danger:
So you've met your past self. And Past - You is a snivelling, stupid, ugly arseface. So you kill him. And if he dies he can't grow up to be you. So they don't get killed. Which means they do grow up to be you, and it's an endless loop.
And if you do hate yourself that much that you kill youself, quite simply, you'll both die. The end.
And so concludes my theorum and hypothessi regarding TIme Travel and Time Paradoxiums. Hope you didn't get too bored reading. Any more queries, or just think I'm stupid and shut the hell up? Leave a comment!!
Ok, this isn't really fiction but it wont fit on any other sections on the forum.
My recent thread titled 'Time Paradox' got me thinking, and as I am little but a huge nerd I searched upon teh internets about said subject and found many disputes among equally huge nerds who had posted their theories about time travel.
SO
I decided to lay down the Laws of Time once and for all:
Grandfather Paradox:
Ah, the most common type of paradox ever featured in Time Travel (which is a bit worrying, statistics show that you are 80% more likely to kill somebody if you own a Time Machine).
Anyways, say you went back in time to see your mum (or 'mom' for those Americas) as a child, before she conceived you. Now, you are one of the following:
A) Disturbed
B) Suicidal
C) Stupid
and you kill your mum. However, this means you were never born, so you never built the Time Machine, so you didn't travel back in time, so you didn't kill your mum, so you were born and
IT HURTZ MA BRAINZ
This is what will happen:
I can't speak from experience, but you would either disapear in a puff of logic (Douglas Adams), or you would cease to exist in any time but the one you were in now, and the Time Machine would fade away. Don't tell me that isn't right. Why? Coz it is. Proove it isn't. If it's not right, go back in time to before I joined, make this
YOU'RE WRONG YOU IDIOT
account and make this thread, but paste a huge 'YOU'RE WRONG, YOU IDIOT!" in the middle. No? Well then.
Tips:
* Borrow a friends Time Machine.
* Don't kill anyone.
The One With Hitler in it:
So, maybe you're jewish or maybe you're very angry, but either way you want to kill Hitler. So, you've built a Time Machine, travelled back in time, and slaughtered the bastard. OOPS!
Without Hitler, no WW2, so you don't get the idea to build the Time Machine and don't go kill him, so he's still alive!
The answer to this is simple - quite obviously, you'd get bounced back to your original time.
HOWEVER
Didn't I say to use a friends Time Machine? Yes, I did, or maybe the reason you made a Time Machine wasn't to kill some one (...). Either way, you kill Hitler and your Time Machine is still there, fully functional, unless I came along and thought yours was better and took it. Now the answer is different: you'd live in an alternate reality where everything would be totally different because you killed Hitler! Maybe you'd be a prostitute! Or a slave in the spice mines of Japan! Or maybe you were licking my feet for a living either way that's pretty bad.
IDIOT
Two You?
Ok. So, what if you're surfin' the space time continuum and you arrive someplace, and bumb into youself!
If it's your past self you bump into, you will have already expierienced it. If it's your future self you meet, then they could tell you some pretty cool stuff (or pretty crap stuff, if you grow up to be a crack - whore).
There is one danger:
So you've met your past self. And Past - You is a snivelling, stupid, ugly arseface. So you kill him. And if he dies he can't grow up to be you. So they don't get killed. Which means they do grow up to be you, and it's an endless loop.
And if you do hate yourself that much that you kill youself, quite simply, you'll both die. The end.
And so concludes my theorum and hypothessi regarding TIme Travel and Time Paradoxiums. Hope you didn't get too bored reading. Any more queries, or just think I'm stupid and shut the hell up? Leave a comment!!
