The life and death of a hero

[Fanfictioner]

The life and death of a hero

prolouge:

A long time ago in a planet far far away in a land of heros where life was blooming and the age of feudalism began a star fell from the sky but in that star was a boy as soon as it fell an archeologist names Oscar found him Oscar found a note on him that read

To whoever finds the boy get out of town as fast as possible they have tracked him.

chapter one soon
opinions?

 

[king calum]

Re: The life and death of a hero

sounds quite good but hard to read because theres no full stops. :/

 

[Fanfictioner]

Re: The life and death of a hero

Oscar grabbed the boy and turned a corner down an alleyway in a city of bloodstone when a man stops them he pulls out a knife and goes towards them

Man: Gimme the boy

Oscar pretty experienced with fighting tackles the man . The man lands on a cobble stone ground and smashes his head on one of the stones. Oscar leaves with the boy for new lands

~seven years later~

In the cobblestone streets of bowerstone the boy now named Cardinal
walks around when his "father" Oscar stops him.

Oscar: Listen son dont come home for 3 hours i have to eh take care of some buisness.

Oscar walks into the house with a hooker

Cardinal was used to that but today his life would be forever changed

when Cardinal stepped in the house blood was from the door up to the stairs

Cardinal: Daddy?
Oscar: Son come here
Cardinal comes up to see a dead body of the Hookerthat is beheahded

Cardnal looks over and sees his dad

his left hand is cut off and theres a stab wound. in his head

Oscar: I have somthing to tell you

Oscar:Cardinal I-i-i-im not your real father <Oscar dies>

Oscar drops a note out of his hands when he dies the note reads

254 mohoghany drive. bring him here and whell finish him. your 10 gold is in the pot outside

TBC!!!

comments?

 

[James Butts]

Re: The life and death of a hero

One of the stupider pieces of work I've read, it would be better if you would add details, added punctuation, and maybe finishing it or adding more to it would be better.

 

[Fanfictioner]

Re: The life and death of a hero

One of the stupider pieces of work I've read, it would be better if you would add details, added punctuation, and maybe finishing it or adding more to it would be better.

how do i change name i no do fan fiction now i focus on being a pervert!

 

[Cain]

Re: The life and death of a hero

how do i change name i no do fan fiction now i focus on being a pervert!

Thats not funny.