Hal

[Cain]

Hal

Garth looked at the samarkand desert and the night sky and smiled."Its good to be home", he said with a grin upon his tired face. He was done with Lucien and the spire. He missed Hammer and Sparrow, but he wanted to return home. The only bad thing was that Reaver was here as well. He sighed and was about to return to his home village when he heard a boom. He turned around and saw what seemed to be a Shooting Star. Except it seemed to be on fire and was closer to garth then he would've liked a star to be. It came down into the desert and crashed into the ground about a mile from garth. Now it wasn't on fire he could see the size and structure of it. It was huge. He couldn't tell what it was but it was definitely foreign. Maybe it was an old kingdom artifact. But what was it doing crashing into the desert. He made his way to it and got a closer look at it. Part of it was torn and red hot from the landing. it seemed it was part of bigger structure that had been destroyed. Just then a small door opened. Garth jumped back in surprise and inspected it.. The door had seemed to open by sliding sideways into slits to hide them. Garth walked inside and then the door closed, encasing him in darkness. Garth lit the Lamp he had brought with him. Sparks jumped from exposed areas, which were made up of tangled cords. He made his way further and saw what looked like a pedestal and a tube. he walked towards them and touched the pedestal. A word just appeared saying "This CPU is locked". He didn't undertand the CPU part but he knew he must find a way to open it. He cast a shock spell and then a red light glowed from it and more words appeared saying,"Forced entry. AI defense mechanism activated". The tube hissed and the open, steam coming out and shrouding the area. Garth moved back but fell over a pipe and fell to the ground. The smoke cleared and then he saw a tall, imposing figure standing over him. It was a he and as the smoke eventually dissapeared Garht saw it a man in Green armour. It couldn't be, He thought. It was impossible. It was.... Hal.


To be continued.

Thats the first part of my story. Say if you like it or not.

 

[Kamizage]

Re: Hal

Don't know if this is considered "bumping", but cool beginning. I like your style of writing, and I would love "The Chronicles of Hal"

 

[GaEv]

Re: Hal

Not a bad start but you need to organise your work into paragraphs instead of just having it layed out in one big block.

 

[Rad]

Re: Hal

I really did enjoy your start, but like everyone said. Organizing would be nice with like sub headings as chapters. But it was really interesting to read.

 

[Cain]

Re: Hal

Thanks trying to think of what happens next.

 

[Cain]

Re: Hal

Hal looked at garth and then at the pedestal. He pulled a small object out of it and inserted it into the back of his helmet. He then proceeded to pick up garth with one hand. Garth was amazed by this mans strength. Hal had picked him up as if he was as light as a feather. Even Hammer wasn't this strong. Hal stood at about 9 foot tall, making his comrade and fellow hero seem small in comparison. Hal then spoke. "Who are you?", The voice sounding incredibly clear coming from inside the heavy armour.

Garth said,"I am garth, and you must be Hal."
Hal stared at him for a while then put him down. He then said,"I think you have the rong guy. Show me the exit, now."
Garth pointed to the doorway that had let him in. Hal nodded and then took his rifle out of the tube.
He pointed it at garth and said,"You've seen too much." Garth shocked at what was happening, unleashed lightning at Hal. It knocked him back, his armour glowing a yellow aura. Garth assumed it was some type of shielding.

Hal began to get back up, but Garth used time control, everything slowing down around him. Hal got up, seeming to have the speed and reactions of a normal man. Either hes impervious to time control or he has reactions like we've never seen, Garth thought. Hal got up and charged at garth. Garth stepped to the side and tripped Hal. Hal flipped over but in mid-air he fired his rifle, with three bullets slowly coming out of the barrel.

Garth tried to dodge but they hit him in the arm, ending the time control spell. Hal got up and walked over to garth. "Never do that again", He said to the will-user. He grabbed him and pulled him outside, the doorway opening as Hal neared it. He threw him out onto the sand and then walked off , heading for the town. Garth realised he had never been here for while and so was unfamiliar with the land. Garht thought he should follow him but realised he should tell Hammer and Sparrow.

Hal was back.

 

[Zjuggernaut]

Re: Hal

Nice. Organised and spread out. It was interesting to read. Rep.

 

[Wolverine]

Re: Hal

+rep Awesome story man! A few chapter headings and it would be perfect. Keep up the good work.

 

[Cain]

Re: Hal

+rep Awesome story man! A few chapter headings and it would be perfect. Keep up the good work.

I am still on chapter 1.

 

[Wolverine]

Re: Hal

Oh, okay then. Well then keep up the good work.