Fred and Bernie (the stoned guys) were definitely my favourite.
"I don't fink so man. Those guild guards looked pretty mad when we put frogs in their coffee."
"I can't believe we lost our mushroom. How will we know what's true now? It's all Fred's fault. That monkey can't even hold onto his brain."
"Hey, hey! If you keep reeeeeeaaaally still I can see your skeleton. Far out, man."
"You know, I think I'm a trader, but I can't find my stall. Maybe the gum-fairies took it."
And the best one I can't remember fully, but Fred said something about the door sneezing on him. xD I laughed so hard I almost peed.
The scene where the hero slays the Guild master to take his soul.
"Maze betrayed me, I knew he was a coward but you are the biggest disappointment of all... You had been given too much power. And it has corrupted you. But isn't too late to turn back. Stop this now, and here stills hope for you. For all of us. Please let me teleport you to the Graveyard. Take Nostros soul instead! Very well hero. Do your worst. I am no defenseless old man. I have powers that you can't begin to.. *thump* Aarrgh *slash*" - Guildmaster / Fable TLC
"The time is, very late!" jk thats fable 2 lol
"I swear i can see maggots crawling out of him" bully @ lookout point
"Ah here you are, it's been a long wait, but I knew you'd free me eventually. Yess always the puppet, don't you ever get tired of having your strings pulled. I am no mortal man, the gods and demons you fear and worship are as nothing to me!" Jack of Blades Dragon
"Two words, wedding ring." Random lady that loves you
"What a touching family reunion, the mother, the son, the daughter. and the sword. But there's only one thing missing (kills mother) It's your blood next, then i shall make this world burn!" Jack of Blades
Eh, Roth? Bad news. I think Chameleon’s, er, you know. Dead.
What? Already? The idiot!
– Arena Guard and Roth
You are now a killer, you know!
Looks like Piemaster’s been eatin’ all them pies!
Piemaster! It’s a great name.
Dead! Now they’re dead!
– Random Wanderers/Traders
She might just be an ugly stick victim.
The trees were running around on little chocolate legs.
Don’t try to pass the letter off as your own! I’ve spent weeks perfecting its sublime poetry!
My heart is in the throes of amorous agony here!
I’ve no further need for intoxicants, for I have found love!
– Man in Guild Woods
Welcome, valued customer! The name’s Grope.
Her ginger top used to drive me crazy, but now she’s got all the sex appeal of a dead pig.
*Mumble*, *mumble* – think you can steal the Bordello from under my nose, do you?
– Mr Grope
I smashed open the crypt, and it was all just lyin’ there…
Get out of my house, you bloody peasant!
Guild business, is it?
– Lychfield Gravekeeper
Amanda was a weak, romantic fool. She didn’t have what it takes to run Bowerstone. She would have turned the place into an egalitarian slum. But don’t worry your pretty head with such big words. We can still be together. You can still have me.
– Lady Grey
Welcome to my modest quarters.
You have earned yourself a singular reward – one of my world famous poetry readings.
Yes, that’s right. These stone walls cannot still the beating heart of a poet.
I don’t want to hear one sound from you. Pouring forth one’s soul requires the utmost concentration.
The recital shall begin anon. Remember – I require TOTAL SILENCE!
It’s painfully obvious you have no interest in the arts. My lyrical opus is wasted on your phillistine ears. Back to the cell with you!
You again? You’re quite the athlete, aren’t you? I look forward to another meeting of the minds in my office.
– Bargate Prison Warden
I heard you might be interested in ‘procuring’ a Camp Pass…
You heard what ‘appened to Stern?
No. Whit did the idiot do this time?
Aye. Yeh canna get in without full gear these days…
That’s a decent injury.
Do your worst!
Prepare to meet Skorm!
Call that a spell?
– Various Bandits
Of course, such a dangerous undertaking would require adequate remuneration.
– Roderick the Assassin
Morality awaits those who donate.
Donate gold at the font to reap your reward.
– Temple of Avo Acolytes
Ah. A fresh donation.
I see you have brought me a gift.
New followers… good.
I think this disciple will benefit most from Skorm’s Insect Infestation.
For this one, I think, the Rope Engine.
– Chapel of Skorm Acolytes
The history of this place is wasted on the public. Our nation’s heritage, but do people care? Nah! People don’t want history, they want the heroes of today. Still, I suppose each era needs its own heroes. Hmm, quite profound, that. You can quote me if you like.
– Arena Guard
Any books for us today, Hero?
Skorm’s teeth! That’s the Guild of Zeroes! I thought your Guild had all copies of that book burned – along with its author!
Well, if you’re sure, Hero…
The Sock Method. How to Make Yourself Sexier in Ten Days…
Well, if you think that’s wise, Hero…
Lest those bast— er, bad people from Albion ever return.
– Mr Gout
I’m not interested in your meagre frame. Get some meat on you!
Stop being a slave to public perception, and treat yourself!
I want beefy! Blubbery! Plump! Porcine!
Eat yourself large, and you’ll be welcome here.
- Demon Door
And plenty others, to be honest, but I can’t remember all of them in one go.