Illogical Process of Elimination
The Empty Throne
This is the story of three men.
The first was a beast of a creature, being unnaturally tall and unnaturally built. “I have had a thought,” he said innocently from his throne.
The second was a very thin man with exceptionally plain features.“What kind of thought?” he asked, genuinely curious.
The first pretended to ponder the question. This was a farce, though, since he was immediately certain of how he wanted to answer. Still, it took a few moments before he finally said, “A wicked thought.”
The third was a very large, very round man. Though his size was still dwarfed by first's.“What is this wicked thought?” he asked, attempting to sound as interested as the second had.
“I want to kill the king,” said the first.
“But you are the king,” said the second.
The first snarled with distaste. “I am your king. I am not the king.”
Silence came again to the three, though this was nothing unusual. The first sat on his throne, the second waiting eagerly to fulfill his every wish, while the third stood waiting for his opportunity to best the second. It was a routine so familiar that none of them even bothered to move anymore. The silence often stretched on for years.
This time, however, it only lasted a few moments. With a sudden unease, the second asked, “Are we not enough for you, milord?”
The first gaped in utter shock, which quickly turned to outrage. He stood and struck the second across the face. The second fell, and though he was in outstanding pain, could not cry out. The blow had snapped his neck, you see. So when he hit the ground he did not get up; he simply died. His body then promptly turned to dust.
The first plopped himself back down on his throne, and said to the third, “You are my second.”
The third, now the second, nodded in understanding. Though he did not outwardly show it, he was quite overjoyed with this turn of events.
Taking another moment to calm himself, the first said, “I want to kill the king.”
“I shall make the arrangements,” the second replied without hesitation.