HobbeBrain

...Don't watch Dr. Who, but I'm sure I could get out of this somehow. Possibly by my incredible levels of inherent awesome.

Well-known fact. Dr. Who doesn't approve of killing innocent middle-aged women,

I dunno, man. Those ninja squirrels are awful hungry. I only fend them off with a constant stream of human sacrifices. They might just see Godzilla as an especially big snack.

And, of course, even Godzilla is vulnerable to the dreaded Mid-Atlantic Bird**** Bomber. I'll tell them to go for the eyes. Then Godzilla'll miss. Probably take out Virginia instead, and good riddance.

Of COURSE I meant it. But look out. My house is defended by a cadre of highly trained ninja squirrels borrowed from the University of Maryland. Plus a squadron of precision-bombing birds overhead.

You have been warned.

Really? You sound insulted.

Oh, I do, I hate you ALL. Every one of you. Just can't stand that a bunch of bums on a tiny island think they're so bad. Them there folks need to be taken down a peg. We oughter eat their livers. That'll show 'em who's boss. And then we can feed their eyeballs to our cockatiels. And their balls to our cocker spaniels. And their nipples to our aardvarks.

And THEN we can roast their cockatiels, cocker spaniels, and aardvarks and feed them to our rhinocerouses, who we can use to bulldoze their houses. And when their houses are bulldozed we can take their brains and use them to create freakish hobbe-monsters to live in the wreckage.

And then... (Purely for overblown comedic effect, of course. I'm good at hating my fellow Americans. You Brits I could care less about.)