Brining up though a relevant topic. My friend has a 5 year old, who CONSTANTLY slams her door when she's mad. I suggested that he should take the door off. I went and read on line that apparently that's considered a form of child abuse, and I was awe stricken. I read that it takes away from the child's "privacy".
I only found ONE level headed comment from ONE person saying, to keep the child's privacy intact, but still eliminate the possibility of door slamming, they suggested putting up a curtain, and or having the child change in the bathroom.
LOL CHILD ABUSE! See this is where it annoys me - the child has more rights than the parent. Yeah, ok, they are vulnerable and small and blah blah blah but what is a parent to do when faced with wilful aggression and destructive behaviour? My daughter is at that age where everything embarrasses her (which is GREAT fun, by the way) so you only have to do something like mention boys or bras or sex and she's red as a tomato and going, "eww mum stop it!". But here's the list of things to be done to her if she steps out of line:
1. Slamming doors means no door. No curtain. No nothing. Why should I compromise on YOUR punishment?
2. Not taking care of stuff means no more stuff. Your iPod, your phone, your new clothes from Hollister? Ebay, my friend. And I keep the profits. (I've done this before and it was a very lucrative year for me indeed - so much so she hasn't warranted that punishment since).
3. Continued refusal to clean up after herself means I refuse to clean up. Her room gets worse, her clothes stink, she has no clean plates to eat off - not my problem. That lasted only about 4 hours before she cracked.
4. Lying to me (about big stuff such as where she is, who she's with, what she's up to etc) means total removal of privileges. She doesn't go out, she doesn't call anyone, she doesn't do a damn thing without my express permission. Not had to do this yet but I'm just waiting for it now high school starts in a week.
5. General gobby attitude/treating me like crap on her shoe warrants an all-out humiliation assault. I'm not easily embarrassed so I don't care if I walk up to her school in my dressing gown, bunny slippers and hair in a towel to pick her up in front of her mates. They're not my mates, after all.
On a slightly more serious note, at the age Jessica is now, talking to her yields better results than punishing her. The punishments usually only happen when talking does no good - and sometimes, whether the bleeding hearts brigade believe it or not, just talking isn't enough. Sometimes there need to be some consequences for actions because that's how the real world works. you can't talk your way out of every situation - some things have to change.
