Relationship help

[Sabbath]

Relationship help

Rather odd to come here but If i don't tell someone I'g go mad
Ok about 2 days ago I found out my girlfriend did something that she knows I hate and something that is extremely stupid. (If you must know ask me in PM's) Anyways we talked about it a lot that night, I was furious at her, she was sad, and then I made her promise it would never happen again then the next day, we had the same talk, though I a lot nicer, I did apologize for being furious at here as it was a bit harsh. Anyways what she did really tore me up, i was furious, then sad, and now I can't shake that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when somethings wrong, but i don't know whats wrong. We talked about it, I got her to promise about it, and I know I still love the girl but Im still hurting. Though when Im around her (I snuck out of my house to go hang with her) this feeling disappears and I don't remember why i was mad in the first place.

I can't tell if Im still disappointed in her, or sad, or just still angry but I know i don't want to leave her, and I think she doesn't want to leave me either, so i came here in hopes that maybe one of you guys could shed a bit of light.

Spoiler

she cut herself, down ways not side ways.

 

[droded]

Re: Relationship help

We can't help if we don't know what she did.

 

[Zjuggernaut]

Re: Relationship help

He makes a valid point. Perhaps put it in spoilers..?

If you don't post, you're gonna have a lot of private messages.

 

[Noctus]

Re: Relationship help

Well if you want help, tell us what she did.

 

[Sabbath]

Re: Relationship help

Spoiler tag in

 

[Noctus]

Re: Relationship help

Well........I can understand why you'd be angry at her. But you're taking the wrong approach.

Find out why she does it, instead of getting angry - that will make it tempting for her to just do it again. Find the source of it, have a serious talk, try and get rid of the problem.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

Re: Relationship help

Well........I can understand why you'd be angry at her. But you're taking the wrong approach.

Find out why she does it, instead of getting angry - that will make it tempting for her to just do it again. Find the source of it, have a serious talk, try and get rid of the problem.

aye aye, ds speaks the truth. you can't drive something like that away with anger, it will only be exacerbated! have a serious talk with her, and if she doesn't want to tell you just say you're ready to listen when she's ready to share it.

eventually she'll come around.

 

[droded]

Re: Relationship help

That is terrible, and I understand why you wanted it to be kept a secret at first.

How long have the two of you been in a relationship?

I'd be distraught if I found out my girlfriend tried doing something like that.

 

[Purple Nurple]

Re: Relationship help

Getting angry won't help anything - if she's self-harming, it's probably becuase she's depressed - help her through it, the most common cause of depression is the feeling of loneliness, ehich means she REALLY needs someone more than ever. Show her that you're there for her and help her through whatever she needs - DONT GET ANGRY.

The feeling that you feel is extremely common - everyone gets it, it's called anxiety. You're anxious because you dont want her to self-harm again. You need to ask yourself why though - is it because you dont want to get hurt or because you dont want HER to get hurt. Help her. Depression is horrible.

 

[Zjuggernaut]

Re: Relationship help

You need to make her know that you're there for her. If she's self harming, there's a reason for it. Ask her about it but don't force her to tell you. If she doesn't want to tell you, don't make her.

 

[Sabbath]

Re: Relationship help

Thanks all, we spent the entire day together (semi-picnic thing) and we talked about why she did it, and I told her that if she ever comes to the point where she about to do it again that she come talk to me first.
Much Thanks to you all, I realize I shouldn't of gotten terribly angry and I was sorry for it and she knew that. It was nice to see her brighten up after telling me everything that was wrong

Edit: We've only been dating for about 2 months now (I know really short time to be saying i love you) But its just clicked with me and her.

 

[Noctus]

Re: Relationship help

Hmm, I see some bad advice.

Dating a girl is a full package deal. You get her and all her issues. If you can't handle these issues, or if you feel like you must help her fix all of these issues, I advise you to run away as fast as you can. I've been down this road, it can turn into a codependency thing and you can quickly find yourself drained and she can find herself uninterested.

It is far better to come back when she has taken care of her issues. If she never does, it is far better to move on.

It's still worth trying to solve the problem. It's not as if it's a permanent disability, it's worth fighting for if he truly likes this girl.

Though if it doesn't work after numerous tries.... Yeah, take John's advice.

 

[Sabbath]

Re: Relationship help

Was this really only 1 day ago O-o Whoa the days are feeling so much longer. Like I said we talked it out, shes not really depressed but shes like me, she bottles them up and only has 1 or 2 people to really show who she is too. I only just recently became one of those people.