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SAW fable edition

  • Thread starter Thread starter izumo7
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izumo7

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SAW fable edition

The tale begins with sparrow who as a child was poor had no parents and his sister the only real family he had been killed 15 years ago by a man named lucien this led sparrow who barely survived the shooting ordeal was very thankful for life but sworn vengence and one day sparrow came along a man who was beating his wife in public sparrow chose to leave it. Two days later after learning the mans agenda decieded to make this man come to relize that his life is some thing to cherish for every minute you have it so sparrow followed this man and put a bag over his head and took him to a cleared out hobbe cave.The man woke up and said "WTF who are you why am i in a cave" sparow replieded as you see i have 5 dogs around you and a kitching knife in your right hand you can chose to get bitten and beaten by the dogs five minutes or retaliate much like you do to your wife its your choice but one choice leads to death while the other can possibly kill but there is one way out of this you see your wife is in the next room and the only one way to get there is to really understand how she feels when you beat her and how much life means oh and i forgot to tell you you have to lay down the whole five minutes let the lesson be learned.

The end until next time
 
Re: SAW fable edition

um....well it's an interesting premise if you remove the tie to SAW be original i know it's hard but saw could be your inspiration but dont do a spin off. SPIT AND POLISH! i cant stress that enough! Punctuation, spelling and generally expanding on descriptions and story. I'm not being mean or putting you down here the idea could work you just need to think about it. Fable could have serial killers and such events could happen but to capture the suspense of Saw you will need to go through and extend and describe.

Keep Writing. Keep Revising. Keep going and most of al KEEP SMILING!! =D