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the crafty rogue

andythegill

I have a cunning plan
Apr 28, 2007
915
1
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'round n about
the crafty rogue

Twas a midsummer evening near the stroke of dawn, no person be found, farmers shopkeepers bartenders, none to meet. Then a smash of a window disturbed it all, outcome the guards bearing swords ready to maul, no person be found, no thief to strike, the guards fall back, uttering no sound. Yet the rogue being crafty hid by a wall, leaping out startling them all, bearing a knife he cut down them all, killing the guards like nothing at all. Deed done, he banished his blade, walked into the shop not intending to pay, outcomes a bag, pocketing it all, laughs at misfortune, grieving and
all. As all be looted he strolled out the shop, leaving a note, carved on a rock,

The note was encrypted "I am the assassin, bringer of death, taker of gold whom leaves nothing left, out I walk, not stopping to talk, I am the rogue from hell"

what did you think?^_^
 
Re: the crafty rogue

A couple of the parts weren't needed.. Such as "Out I walk, not stopping to talk."

Also, it didn't need to rhyme :wacko:

But all in all it was a nice little story +rep
 
Re: the crafty rogue

cool...u did better thatn me on my tale of twinblade
 
Re: the crafty rogue

I liked it, I really did. But is this was a poem, you need to space each rythm. Not only that, but it seems you're making the Assassin more of a warrior. Assassins climb on buildings, they blend with the shadow and they refrain from killing anyone except their target. Also, you should empasize more of how Assassins kill the rich, they don't really kill just anyone. They also steal. Make them more of people who focus on one thing rather than doing all these different things.

If you wanted the Assassin to encounter enemies, by all means. But you need to put a reason in why. Why did he get caught? From what I know, rogues refrain from getting caught.

Aside from that, it has a good rhyme, and I think you pulled it off nicely.;)

+Rep