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What the F*ck

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ScareCrowReturn

ScareCrowReturn

The Token Schizo
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Aug 19, 2008
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Hangin' out in a corn field
What the F*ck

The Title says it all.

I just found out something messed up that happened in family, I will tell you and I'd like to know what you would do or what I should do.. Thank you.

Okay so my parents are divorcing (I knew that) the reasons were because they just didn't get along and they just argued ALL the time, which is understandable, My mum was happier when she wasen't living with him, which is good. But.. were they the reasons? This is what I just found out about 20 minutes ago..

My mum says she doesnt want dad to come round to our house at all.. like never.. So my sister asked "Why this time?" And mum says this.. "Your dad is a filthy lieing *******" I was just like "Whaaaaaat?".. So this is what has happened, Lets go back about 18 years ago, A year after I was born.

18 years ago, My dad Finds another lady, Cheats on my mum and Has another kid, so this means I have a Step sister. My mum stayed with my dad because there is 6 of us in our family and my mum couldnt do it all by herself.

Okay and now lets come back to now, My dad has been going to thailand to buy a boat to sail around the world, i thought that was cool.. Or is that the real reason, again? NO! Hes been going there, Seeing another lady, He has bought her a house and a boat.

My dad is my Idol, sorry, was my idol. I looked up to him, He did so much in his life and I found it so awesome.. But now.. I dont know what to say to him, I dont want to see him again.

But this answers my questions for why I was brought up so neglected compared to my other siblings.

Wat do I do... :'(
 
Re: What the F*ck

I Dont feel like im apart of any family now, its sad.

Do you think it is a good idea to keep in touch with my half sister? My mum said that if I do then She wont talk to me ever again, 1 out of 5 of my siblings is talking to her, I am aswell, I want to see what she thinks about it.

They lied to me my whole life, I deserve to do what I like.

I dont want to talk to him, I dont see him as my dad now, Hes a hoirrble man that hurt all the people close to him.
 
Re: What the F*ck

my parents split when i was 17, and granted your situation is infinitely more ****ed up than it was for me. having them split always waters down your image of them, no matter what. learning how human they are really takes a jump start when it happens.
before i continue: yeah i am downplaying this a bit, you aren't really supposed to do anything. the best thing you could do is talk to both of them 1 on 1 and get an understanding, because people have a tendency to be biased towards eachother after they split, even if unintentionally. so get your story right from the both of them just so you don't look back with a one sided view.

get a 100% understanding of each of their perspectives, after that time heals all wounds.
like i said, it is ****ed up, but i've been there man. i've found it to be the best solution to a divorce under most circumstances.
 
Re: What the F*ck

I know sort of how you feel. My parents split when I was thirteen, that was when my dad came to me up front and told me, my mom was breaking up with him because he had cheated on her twice. He told me the unbiased truth, I know this because that's what my mom told me too. I know this isn't as bad as what you're going through, but I made the decision then and there, my view of my parents wouldn't change, and I would always do what was best for them. My advice to you is this: Don't let this ravage your relationship with your parents. Talk to them, work as hard as you can to find an understanding, and before you make any final decisions, talk to them long and think hard.
Of course this coming from someone who's new, you probably don't care what I have to say.
 
Re: What the F*ck

^ New or not New, You still have a valid opinion.

I see what you mean, But hes been lieing to me my whole life, All the stuff I have realised about him has been a lie, I cant trust him anymore, And I cant be around people who I cannot trust, I dont want to be around him or see him anymore.
 
Re: What the F*ck

ScareCrowReturn;428671 said:
^ New or not New, You still have a valid opinion.

I see what you mean, But hes been lieing to me my whole life, All the stuff I have realised about him has been a lie, I cant trust him anymore, And I cant be around people who I cannot trust, I dont want to be around him or see him anymore.
Click to expand...

I'll probably be considered an asshole for the things I say but I've given up on trying to paint a respectable image for myself.

So here goes...

First of all, EVERYONE will lie to you, some more than others but nevertheless, honesty is a rare commodity.

You weren't neglected because your father was off living his life, you weren't treated with the same equality probably because each of you got so little of it. You have to imagine what it's like trying to spend time and love six different people all the same. It's difficult and almost impossible so just because they didn't throw presents at you or roll at the red carpet does not mean they loved you any less.

Did your father beat you? Did he rape you? Did he do anything aside from sleep with other women? Because only then is he an asshole of any kind and should you view him in a different light. However, from what I can guess, he hasn't done any of that. You can not expect any man to willingly raise six children and live a happy life. Unless you're rich, I am willing to bet that life was pretty hard for all of you, financially anyways.

So you should realize that being stuck with a life like that isn't pleasant. I'm sure he loves each of you equally (otherwise he would have stopped long before he reached six children).

He's still your father and unless he was a ****ty one, you should love and respect him just as you did before this happened.

He deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else.
 
Re: What the F*ck

^ Wrong.

If you have a wife, you love her, If you have a family, you love them, otherwise you wouldn't have one.

And my parents were wealthy enough to have a 6 kid family, they were well off. So money doesnt need to come into this.

He deserves to be happy with someone else, with another family, because I am not going to shar emy life with him anymore.

He lied to me my whole life, He cheated on my mum twice, He lies to us about what he does.

And I know that everyone lies, But to lie like that, you have to be a selfish, cold hearted, prick.
 
Re: What the F*ck

ScareCrowReturn;428671 said:
^ New or not New, You still have a valid opinion.

I see what you mean, But hes been lieing to me my whole life, All the stuff I have realised about him has been a lie, I cant trust him anymore, And I cant be around people who I cannot trust, I dont want to be around him or see him anymore.
Click to expand...

He cares enough to have lied.
 
Re: What the F*ck

What the ****, why the **** are you trying to reason with this!?

He cares enough to lie? He cares enough to keep lieing? What the ****, you have to be ****ing stupid to think that is "Fine".
 
Re: What the F*ck

ScareCrowReturn;428684 said:
^ Wrong.

If you have a wife, you love her, If you have a family, you love them, otherwise you wouldn't have one.

And my parents were wealthy enough to have a 6 kid family, they were well off. So money doesnt need to come into this.

He deserves to be happy with someone else, with another family, because I am not going to shar emy life with him anymore.

He lied to me my whole life, He cheated on my mum twice, He lies to us about what he does.

And I know that everyone lies, But to lie like that, you have to be a selfish, cold hearted, prick.
Click to expand...

Using your logic against you, you just contradicted yourself.

If that's the case then I don't see what your complaint is. There are a LOT of men out there who aren't happy with who they married, same goes with women. Why? Because people have a tendency to rush into marriage because of puppy love. They think "Oh my! This has to be real! We're perfect for each other!" when the sad truth is, is that they hardly know a thing about one another.

That's fine but you're only hurting yourself.

And? Does he need to tell you everything he does? No. He's entitled to as much privacy as anyone else. I admit, that cheating on someone isn't considered a good quality but who's to say your mother was 100% faithful? Maybe she wasn't good enough in bed? Or maybe she didn't want sex? I mean, there could be a thousand different reasons for him cheating and you'll never know because you choose to remain ignorant of all the facts.

Then I guess everyone in the world is a cold-hearted, selfish, prick. Because many, many people cheat. Many people lie about their occupation and many people lie to keep people safe from the truth.

The truth hurts worse than a lie. If it didn't, why would people lie as much as they do? Certainly they wouldn't benefit from it.
 
Re: What the F*ck

^ Im ignorant? And I guess standing up for myself and saying im not ignorant is being ignorant?

Why is their always a perfectly good reason for anything? How about he is a bad man for cheating? A lieing *******.

And yes, I do know the reasons.

So you're saying that there are alot of men out there who get married, have 6 children, cheat on his wife, have another child, and still goes and see's this other "lady" for about 6 years, decides to move country, then decides to go to thailand, pick up a whore, buy a house and boat for her?

I did not say he did not love me. He can love me and cheat on us, Thats just even worse.

He is going to get old, and die alone.
 
Re: What the F*ck

ScareCrowReturn;428695 said:
What the ****, why the **** are you trying to reason with this!?

He cares enough to lie? He cares enough to keep lieing? What the ****, you have to be ****ing stupid to think that is "Fine".
Click to expand...

Never said it was fine, just saying that if he didn't care at all, he would just have left your family.
 
Re: What the F*ck

He does whatever the hell he wants to do, It was my mum who kept us together. Good and Bad decision.

Let me just say, I dont want to read **** that is going to make me even more angrier, I want some honey-moon bull**** opinions.

So Grimm, **** off.
 
Re: What the F*ck

scarecrow man, if there's anything to walk away from this thread with, it's that there really isn't anything to do. see a shrink if you really need someone to talk to. that would benefit you more than confiding in us over the internet, who run the risk of saying the wrong thing.

if nothing else man, ya may not forgive your dad, but it won't be as painful to think about some day.
 
Re: What the F*ck

Try to ignore Grim and the others, walk away from the thread even, find a psychologist, get some closure with your father, something, all you will get here is pain.
 
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