• Welcome to the Fable Community Forum!

    We're a group of fans who are passionate about the Fable series and video gaming.

    Register Log in

Online Venting Session

Firis

Amateur Human
Premium Legend
Premium
Jun 23, 2008
5,706
351
335
30
Kentucky
vamplars7.deviantart.com
I know, no one cares; but I don't have a blog, and I can't post any of this on Facebook so I just need even a single person to read this and either tell me it'll be alright or give me some extreme enlightenment.

So to start out I'll update my life, because with the exception of Cheez I'm not worried about anyone finding and killing me. I am almost 18 now, it's less than a month away. I've quit my low paying chef job because the business seems to be on a downward slope, I am now working at a grocery store stocking shelves like a monkey boy. I've been doing this for two months and to be honest, I don't mind it: It has union benefits, I have advancement and pay increase opportunities, and my bosses seem to like me (Bringing me up in a board meeting about sifting out bad employees they called me a "keeper") but overall my work is meaningless and I am an expendable blue collar peon. I am also engaged to a fine lass who is a lot like me (If a little more depressed and emotionally wrecked from a terrible childhood which out of respect I won't delve into)

Next month involves a lot of change for me, so much that it scares me:
I make about $900 a month presently, give or take thirty dollars. Starting October I'll be paying my parents rent: $200 a month, plus insurance which is $120, plus all my regular expenses (Extra food, gas, clothes, and my fiancee) Tallied up I will have less than $50 to put into my savings each month. Don't get me wrong, it's cheaper than living solo in an apartment, but it's still ****ty I have to pay to live in the place I've lived in for 16 years. Because of this I've had to drop my gym membership, which was one of the only things that turned me from an insecure self-hating emo into a halfway happy man. The only alternative is I can live here for free if I go to college, which I can't because I can't afford that either and don't want to pay federal loans till I'm almost ready to retire; especially when I don't know what I want to do or if I'd even enjoy what I'd end up doing. My dad is still an emotional train wrecker, constantly asking me questions about things I already told him I wasn't gonna do, feeling disappointed in me, whatever.
I'm still hiding all my regular skeletons in the closet too: religion, sexuality, ideologies, etc.
I've got to think about moving out ASAP, not just for me but my fiancee who lives 45 minutes away.
She is living in an abusive home situation where her father is bipolar, if not straight up sociopathic, her mom doesn't work and treats her youngest daughter like gold, ignoring my girl's needs, she helps pay their bills, pays for all of her mom's gas and is emotionally hammered like a crooked nail in a cracked plywood board. Her mom just told her last week that she is leaving with the youngest daughter to Chicago for acting lessons on September 3rd and won't be coming back till mid December, my fiancee doesn't have a drivers license because her mom would never let her get one, so she must rely on me and like 2 other people to get to work for the next three months (mainly me), and I sure as hell won't let her stay at her house alone with her pig stepdad, so for three months she will be bouncing between her house, my house, a friend's house and motels. Thankfully she works night shift so it's easier to work around my schedule to help her get to and from work, but this means little sleep for me and lots of stress wondering if week after week my schedule will work with hers or not. The only comfort is she'll be spotting me gas money. I have so much pressure weighing me down right now...

We've recently, and stupidly flirted with the idea of suicide, glancing by it, talking about the taste of cyanide, etc, etc. Flaunting our insecurities like a flag that is to be waved, sitting at Red Lobster eating shrimp scampi while screaming and pulsing on the inside at the "unjust" world that has been thrown upon us, a good chunk of that pressure is due to the week of my birthday; which is when I'll know if I am going to be a daddy. Another thing that hasn't helped her as she has had to abstain from tobacco and alcohol which she so heavily enjoys. I haven't felt this helpless since I was a little kid. And my cigs and vodka only helps so much. Why can't I remain this happy-go-lucky Fonzie persona that I've molded myself into?

Why is all this happening so suddenly?
Why is life a bitch?
Why did I do so much to wreck my life?
Why did others do so much to wreck my life?
Why did others do so much to wreck her life?


I just had to get all of this out, it isn't like I can vent to all but a couple friends.

To top it all off? I'm constipated.
 
Why is all this happening so suddenly?
Why is life a bitch?
Why did I do so much to wreck my life?
Why did others do so much to wreck my life?
Why did others do so much to wreck her life?

Thats just how life goes.
I don't know, it just is.
Only you know that.
I don't know.
I don't know.

I think you will be alright. What your going through is tough, but I dare say its normal. The transition into adulthood and independence is rough and unplesant. But the funny thing about life is that somehow you will always find a way to work things out and get by, because otherwise your dead. Things may not go the way you planned, but they have a way of sorting themselves out, but you must participate.

My advise to you is this; save as much money as you can. Focus yourself on a goal, which in your case looks like it should be moving out as soon as possible. Save up your money and try to find a cheap place somewhat close to your workplace for you and your fiancee to move into. The two of your incomes should be enough to get by, but you may have to get an additional room mate. A friend perhaps? If possible give up your vehicle, this will save you a ton of money. I've gotten by with nothing but a bicycle for two years and its easier than you might think.

Life is hard, but as long as you don't give up, you'll make it.
 
I feel for you because my situation is very similar; except I can't even find a job because the job market is ass. You say that both you and your gal do have work, have you thought of getting an apartment together? If you split the rent it should be managable.
 
You feel as though when you look around that you're the only one struggling, but everyone is, well generally most people are.. they just hide it.

Least you have a job, and a girl, and.. constipation.. :devil:

I dont have a job, looking for one, I live at home, I have no girl friend because I have commitment issues annnnnd its all just pooz and weez really.

I cant really give you advice, but what I can say is, its not the end of the world.. Hah, thats shat shaun said in shaun of the dead, but infact it was the end of the world.. oh well, may be it is the end of the world? 2012 is near! Yayyy!
 
That's a whole heap of stuff, Hans. And I know you're just venting but if you want some serious responses I'd suggest PMing someone here who you can trust (or at least as much as anyone can trust a person online) and discussing each of those points over because that's a LOT of stuff and I don't think one vent is really a good idea because all you'll do is squash it all down again until the next vent.

A couple of things jump out at me straight away from what you said but I don't think it's at all appropriate to address them in public here (no disrespect to anyone on the boards but it's just sensible to keep some things private).

Seriously, there's some stuff there you need to do the whole "sit down and long talk" with somebody . Not that they may have the answers but that they will be a suitable sounding board to help you filter out the real issues from the stuff that can be sorted without too much hassle.
 
It seems that everything has happened at once and its all getting on top of you. I think you need to start looking at the smaller picture first and things you can change between you both that will make life a little easier. As Tsuyu said, maybe you could get her away from the family and put your finances together and get a place. A lot of people are struggling in the current financial climate but together you could live rather comfortably (as well as can be expected anyway) with little issues. Her finances seem to be going towards people who dont appreciate it and are making her life worse, I assume shes around the same age as you so your both adults who can make your own decisions.

Dont try and do everything at once and feel your life has to change overnight, manage what you can and try and fix what you can and have the power to currently and everything else will slot into place. Lots of us go to dark places and through dark times for different reasons but very few people remain there for a long duration and things do improve over time and with some small changes to make things easier for you both.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gikoku
I think the fix-all here is a larger income.

That would get you and her out of your home situations and erase all the problems that they bring to the table. Possibly reinstate a gym membership. With both of you working, an apartment isn't out of the question. It would also be a good idea considering a baby could be on the way.

If you like your job at Kroger, then stick with it. Maybe a promotion is around the corner.
Since you live around where I do, though, I know of at least one job market that's paying by the bucket in Cincy and Kentucky right now and can provide further details if you're interested.
 
If you like your job at Kroger, then stick with it.
Oh God, Cheez is out to kill me!

Angel: I'll PM you and mayhap someone else on the forum, someone I know has also had much experience with bad situations.

The main thing is I know that a lot of people have it even worse, and this is normal for most people, and that's why I felt I couldn't complain, especially to her. The financial situation is one that can be worked, I make $7.45 an hour, plus about three hours a week of night premium (an extra dollar on the hour) and the occasional overtime (1.5x salary) she makes $9 something an hour, plus for the past two weeks she has had night premium which bumps her to $10 something, an apartment isn't out of the question, the only real factor is getting to and from work: Bus line doesn't travel to her work from most places, the only real options are to keep my car and all the expenses that come with it and hope she can carpool when I can't take her, or we both transfer to whichever Kroger will be closer to our home, but then we both lose seniority, so we go to the bottom of the promotion, overtime, and pay raise lists, and there is no guarantee they have room for a transfer. The third option is there is an affordable living home literally across the street from her work, I could transfer to her Kroger and we'd be a ten minute walk away from work, but it is also in drug gang territory.
 
Double post and thread necro ftw!
Just didn't want to make a new thread, but... Things are going okay, we've been living together for a little over three weeks, it's hard but it works. Looking at apartments and setting up a doctor's appointment for later this week, I am going to be a daddy; I'm hoping for a girl. Also looking into food stamps and WIC now, got lots ofo questions, and searching for answers.
 
I'm glad things are picking up for you - living with someone can be hard but anything worth doing takes work so stick with it :)

Also, don't hope for a girl. Srsly. They're ok when they are small but you wait until they hit around the age of 9 or so. Then you've got a little madam on your hands who will evolve into a full-grown hormone monster by the time she hits 11 or thereabouts. Cue PMS, door slamming, queuing for the bathroom and a whole heap of "but it's not FAIR!" every time you open your mouth. Also, as she's female, you won't be able to say no (something your other half will invariably bring to your attention every time the phone/credit card/electric bill comes in each month) and the worst part? She'll know it. and use it to her advantage. Think of it like this - with boys, you only have one penis to be concerned about in the future. With girls? So, so many of them. And you can't snap them all off...

Boys are harder work when small but as they get older, their needs are simple. Food, internet and occasionally a grunt in your general direction to prove they are indeed, contrary to any odours emanating from their rooms, still living. Girls start off simple to care for and then it all falls apart fairly quickly and you wind up poor, hungry and operating a free taxi for most of the time.

And this is coming from someone with a good girl (for the most part).

tl;dr - congratulations and whatever it comes out as, you'll do fine :)
 
Yeah, you only have to worry about one penis. But boy, that one penis can cause a heap o' trouble, let me tell you. A girl can only get herself pregnant; a boy can get many, many girls pregnant!