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The flying meatball god

Re: The flying meatball god

Fine, fine. Sorry if I offended anyone. Opinion-oriented threads can bring out the worst in people, so maybe it would be the best thing if you close it to avoid further conflict.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

I heard the crusades were very holy.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Religion in general is so hypocritical... okay to bash down on everyone else, calling them "blind" and believing in "fake gods", yet if someone dares mock your "god" hell breaks loose.

Everyone should just worship their god, devil or clown in peace... or join the peaceful Pastafarians!




The Gospel of the Flying Spagetthi Monster said:
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

  1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou *** when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
  2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
  3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuschia.
  4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
  5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******.
  6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
    • Ending poverty
    • Curing diseases
    • Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
      I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
  7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
  8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
Click to expand...

RAmen.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Okay, does anyone understand what I meant by my post after Hex's up there? I seriously think this thread needs to be closed before anyone says anything to get banned, okay?!
 
Re: The flying meatball god

If someone does, it will be closed. But until then it shall remain open. If everyone just behaves there is no need to close it.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Well, great. Let's all just argue some more until someone really gets banned! That's a perfect idea!
 
Re: The flying meatball god

You act as if someone is forcing you to attend to this thread.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Seriously - I ought to be worshipped. I'll take anyone - all you gotta do is pay me in peanut M&M's and I'll half-heartedly pay attention to all your prayers. :D

Some people's opinions will be that others are mental - I get it all the time and to be honest it's just one of those things you have to put up with regardless of your beliefs - whether you believe in one God, thirty gods, no gods or a four-headed elephant wearing a toupee and playing the banjo...interesting idea...hmm....anyways, the point is not to take it to heart too much if someone doesn't agree with your opinions and when it all comes down to it, if you believe in a higher power of some kind, then surely it can defend itself? I know mine can :D


For the record, if you wish to join in adoring me as a loyal subject then I can defend myself with a Brute shot and some sticky toffee pudding. I rule. :lol:
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Darg;139395 said:
"**** God"? See, this is what I mean- no one gives a care in hell about religion any more and can't even respect it if nothing else. Honestly, I am like the only one who still follows God in my entire school, because people either believe in a fake-*** god and his "noodly appendage" or just plain don't care. So what, when we all die, we just go in a plot in the ground and that's all there is? That's all there is to life here? I'm serious, I feel very, very strongly about this, and it ****es me off that people can just blow religion all away like it's just some joke, like it's not the truth, but it is, even if you are all too blind to see that.
Click to expand...

Don't worry, Darg, I DO believe in God. I just think he's the consummate *******. I'm not bitter at all either, I swear.

I also love the "I'd really rather you didn't"s. They are very amusing.

Oh, and Angel-- how about a churchly alliance? I'll send you the peanut m&M's my church accepts as offerings, while you can send me the plain chocolate and paenut butter ones you get!

I also like the "four-headed elephant wearing a toupee and playing the banjo." When can we found the first church?
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Hmmm...I like your suggestion. It's not uncommon for churches to join up together so we can create a super church with the four-headed banjo playing toupee wearing elephant as our icon. He requires banoffee pie too, or he starts crapping on the carpet and I just got it steam cleaned so prompt offerings would be preferable.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

I see. I'd be more helpful if I knew what this new offering request was. [Befuddled look] And anyway, can't we just feed our new idol lots of reverse-laxatives (I'm sure there's a word for that, but I don't know it)? And I don't mean something that makes it vomit.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Reverse-laxatives? Wouldn't that make you wanna eat from your butt?
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Remarkably enough, I doubt it. I was thinking constipatives, though that's probably not a word.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Immodium? That clogs things up, so to speak...

And it's banoffee pie for the elephant-god, please. With cream.
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Well, this is more than just a little bizarre to say the least...
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Whatever a banoffee pie is, I'll be sure to get right on finding one. [Hey, who'll find one of these for me? I'll pay in offertory peanut M&M's!]
 
Re: The flying meatball god

Walker;140589 said:
Whatever a banoffee pie is, I'll be sure to get right on finding one. [Hey, who'll find one of these for me? I'll pay in offertory peanut M&M's!]
Click to expand...

:getlost:And some people think that the world hasn't gone crazy yet...
 
Re: The flying meatball god

I shall accept said offering of peanut M&M's, and in return shall provide you with... NOTHING... other than the odd spat of warfare if I get a headache... just like a proper god should...

Darg;140596 said:
:getlost:And some people think that the world hasn't gone crazy yet...
Click to expand...

... if the posts in this thread bother you that much, you aren't being forced to read them... =]
 
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