Cobalt Gamer
Resident miserable sod.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2008
- Messages
- 1,740
- Reaction score
- 5
- Points
- 100
- Age
- 31
The Horror We Can't See.
OK this is the opening to my story, there's no info on the main story line so no way any-one can steal it from me, plus its copyrighted so watch out
(i thought ahead 
) The thing is i want to know if you guys like i mean it still needs some tweaks i know but i am pretty happy with it.
The sun has set and the lights in the sky twinkle brightly, the streets of Tokyo are filled with people rushing around, getting from one place to another, even at this time of night. Amongst them is a man, he doesn't stand out, he does not have distinguishing features, but soon he will be the most unlucky man in Tokyo. He walked amongst the crowds til he reached the subway, he left the pack and walked up to the ticket booth, the subway was the same at day as it at night, "New york eh? they should call this place the city that never sleeps." thought the man, he made his way to the ticket booth but there was a line, he sighed and put his briefcase down to check his watch. it was 9:30, he'd been out since 7 this morning and it would appear he would be here for 20 minutes or so, the big clock on the wall ticked away, 20 minutes past and he had barley moved, 30 minutes past and he was getting closer, finally an hour passed and he was next in line. The man in front of him seemed to be complaining about losing a bag or something along those lines and he refused to leave without it, the man behind the pane of glass called, to the center of our story but the bag man refused to let him pass, he looked at his watch again and sighed, he decided to barge past the bag man, "id like a ticket to the city center" said the man kindly, money was paid and the ticket was dispensed, he walked off ignoring the insults now being shouted at him from the bag man. The platform was called, the train was light by 13 minutes, the man sighed again. finally with a burst of air the train came through the tunnel like a bat out of hell. The man stepped onto the train and sat in the corner seat, he looked around, the carriage was mostly empty , there was a young girl probably 16 sitting on the other side of the carriage, she had a mixture of green and black in her hair, which was styled like she had two pom poms on her head, her cloths were skimpy and black. The man looked at his own reflection, he had medium length black hair, a very dull brown suit , a white shirt with a red tie and a pair of jet black boots. His eyes where blue and his nose was average and so was his ear size, almost everything about him was average, he went to look into his briefcase when a piece of paper fell out of his bag, it had his face name date of birth and occupation on it. " Ruuku 27th July 1978, lawyer." He quickly picked theintbreifpcase briefecase amdtbreif caseamdbreif caseamd amdf his own.
OK this is the opening to my story, there's no info on the main story line so no way any-one can steal it from me, plus its copyrighted so watch out
(i thought ahead ) The thing is i want to know if you guys like i mean it still needs some tweaks i know but i am pretty happy with it.The sun has set and the lights in the sky twinkle brightly, the streets of Tokyo are filled with people rushing around, getting from one place to another, even at this time of night. Amongst them is a man, he doesn't stand out, he does not have distinguishing features, but soon he will be the most unlucky man in Tokyo. He walked amongst the crowds til he reached the subway, he left the pack and walked up to the ticket booth, the subway was the same at day as it at night, "New york eh? they should call this place the city that never sleeps." thought the man, he made his way to the ticket booth but there was a line, he sighed and put his briefcase down to check his watch. it was 9:30, he'd been out since 7 this morning and it would appear he would be here for 20 minutes or so, the big clock on the wall ticked away, 20 minutes past and he had barley moved, 30 minutes past and he was getting closer, finally an hour passed and he was next in line. The man in front of him seemed to be complaining about losing a bag or something along those lines and he refused to leave without it, the man behind the pane of glass called, to the center of our story but the bag man refused to let him pass, he looked at his watch again and sighed, he decided to barge past the bag man, "id like a ticket to the city center" said the man kindly, money was paid and the ticket was dispensed, he walked off ignoring the insults now being shouted at him from the bag man. The platform was called, the train was light by 13 minutes, the man sighed again. finally with a burst of air the train came through the tunnel like a bat out of hell. The man stepped onto the train and sat in the corner seat, he looked around, the carriage was mostly empty , there was a young girl probably 16 sitting on the other side of the carriage, she had a mixture of green and black in her hair, which was styled like she had two pom poms on her head, her cloths were skimpy and black. The man looked at his own reflection, he had medium length black hair, a very dull brown suit , a white shirt with a red tie and a pair of jet black boots. His eyes where blue and his nose was average and so was his ear size, almost everything about him was average, he went to look into his briefcase when a piece of paper fell out of his bag, it had his face name date of birth and occupation on it. " Ruuku 27th July 1978, lawyer." He quickly picked theintbreifpcase briefecase amdtbreif caseamdbreif caseamd amdf his own.
