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"Well... This is awkward."

Hmm, well, this goes beyond awkward, but I'll post it here anyway. I had to go hunting for an old thread to find this.

Necromancer said:
Prom...mine was pretty fun. The second half anyway. The first half of my junior prom was one of the most terrible and awkward experiences of my life (so far). I wanted to shoot myself. I was the only one out of my group of friends without a date (which, honestly, isn't that unusual). I was forced to follow around several couples for much longer than I'd like. I felt like the most pathetic, useless piece of sh*t on the planet. Luckily, my friend Ryan and his girlfriend were very welcoming. They had been going out for over a year, so there wasn't any of that new relationship passion that kept them locked away in a corner making out for hours at a time. It was chill. Still, that didn't fix what was about to make things a whole lot worse.

A little bit later, I was standing around talking to another friend of mine, and I see my friend Jake and his date talking to this girl who was in my psychology class. Now, before I continue, I should tell you that Jake's talked about hooking me up with chicks before, and I've told him on countless occasions that I never want him to do that in any way, shape, or form because it just makes me feel pathetic (I'm sure you can see where this is going). Then, all of a sudden, I see that girl (Stephanie) walking toward me. My initial thought was "Oh f*ck," because I knew exactly what Jake had done. She got over to me and asked me to dance. I said I knew Jake had sent her over to me, we exchanged a few words, and she finally just said, "Well are you just gonna reject me?" FFFFUUUUUUUU-- What can I say to that? I just sighed, said no, and gave Jake a death stare as I walked to the dance floor with Stephanie. Now, me, I don't dance. I don't like to dance. I've never liked to dance. I never will like to dance. I don't know how to dance. I've never known how to dance. Will I ever learn how to dance? The smart money says no. Basically, all I could do was tell her that I didn't know how to dance, so she kind of guided me through it and taught me. Now, because of the kind of person she was, she wasn't about to think any less of me because of this, and she was happy to help. However, my pathetic-o meter was pushing 12 on a scale of one to 10. It was awful.

After that, I did feel a little more comfortable dancing, and I found this chick that I know who also didn't have a date, so I asked her to go dance. We danced, we chilled, we grabbed a bite to eat, it was fun.
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I'll probably post something else if I remember it.
 
Arseface said:
I honestly didn't even know Hobbe could get erections.
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HobbeBrain said:
The joke is "Hobbe can't jizz"

Not "Hobbe has erectile dysfunction"

Get your s**t right!!
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You having problems with waving the flag bro? Damn Your list gets longer....

Can't jizz.

Can't get it up.

Got molested by a chav.....

if you were a dog, I'd have had you put down to end you're misery. :'(
 
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Dentie said:
I had it once with a girl when I went out with some friends.

She was like really hot so I was talking to my friends about ehr outside of the club we went too. Was describing how she looked and saying she was really hot and stuff. And then my friends pointed and laughed because she was standing behind me... I wanted to turn back time. But than she said; Well you dont look to bad either.

success%20kid.jpg
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Haha, I've had a similar situation to this but I dealt with it differently, I have no shame.

I was talking to my friends about this girl that was in college and you know, being teenagers, we were talking about how much we would like to mate with the female. I decided to say "Yeah, I'd wreck her" as she was standing behind me.. I turned around and she was just looking at me so I decided to make this funny and say "Well.. I f**king would." She wasn't too amused.

My friend Callum has really crazy ADHD, so I decided to call him a "cripple" for a joke, as I said it, a boy in a wheelchair came rolling past. I hanged my head in shame.
 
My mum and dad were in a shopping centre once, and my dad had given her the question: what are the only three words in the English language that begin with "dw", as a brain teaser kinda thing. She got dwindle and dwell, but she was having trouble with the third. It took her ages, but she finally got it, she shouts "Dwarf!" right as one happens to walk by.

Hilarious.
 
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Hermit said:
Got molested by a chav.....
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I had forgotten about that.
 
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