Jokes

[DrZoid]

Re: Jokes

A girl with no arms or legs is sitting on a peir in her wheelchair crying when a man walks by, the man says "Why are you crying?" she replies "Well I've never been hugged before." So he gives her a hug. He starts to walk away when she starts to cry again. He walks back and says "What wrong now?" she says to him "I've never been kissed before" so he gives her a kiss and says "Is that all?" she replies "Well, there is one thing, I've never been f*cked before." When she says this the guys picks her up and throws her into the water and says "There, now your f*cked!"

That was on Ally McBeal

I heard this joke from a friend not that long ago.. its probably funnier told in person but...
(If your ginger do not read)

A man's wife has just had his baby in hospital, but he missed the birth since he couldn't get to the hospital in time due to the que being extremely long at the pretzel wagon.

He arrives at the hospital (eventually) and rushes straight to the room where his wife is. He is stopped by a Docter.

"What is it?" asked the man

"It's about your baby... I've got some good news and some bad news... Which would you like first?" Replied the Docter.

"Err, the bad news I guess" says the man nervously.

"OK." Says the Docter "The bad news is... your baby is Ginger."

"Oh god!" Gasps the man. "Well what was the good news!?"

"Your baby's dead."

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Jokes

What's with all the dead baby jokes? Makes me cry on the inside.....*sniff*

 

[DrZoid]

Re: Jokes

What's with all the dead baby jokes? Makes me cry on the inside.....*sniff*

Wouldn't you be crying more if the ginger baby had survived?


OK im only kidding with the ginger stuff btw. (Before I offend someone.) It's just theres so many blonde jokes but there all getting old

'ginger jokes are now in people!'

omg im so random!

 

[Eclipse]

Re: Jokes

yes u are

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Jokes

You're not as random as this though: http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m92/sivz/1151543979.swf

 

[DrZoid]

Re: Jokes

You're not as random as this though: http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m92/sivz/1151543979.swf

That is one of the best things I have ever seen! :lol:

Shame I didn't see that image before national Pirate Day.

 

[FableFreak]

Re: Jokes

lets not go too far off topic guys.

 

[Hexadecimal]

Re: Jokes

why do the sheep herders walk their sheep so close to the edge of the cliff?
it makes them push back harder

 

[FableFreak]

Re: Jokes

what?

 

[Hexadecimal]

Re: Jokes

what?

sorry... it's funnier if you can say it with lude hip thrusting motions...

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Jokes

sorry... it's funnier if you can say it with lude hip thrusting motions...

I think you've just ticked off the entire nation of New Zealand! :lol:

 

[Hexadecimal]

Re: Jokes

I think you've just ticked off the entire nation of New Zealand! :lol:

hehehehe
oh those sheep herders and their wild saturday nights...

 

[FableFreak]

Re: Jokes

oh, I get it now. Sheep f*ckers!!11!!!!!!111!!1!!!

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Jokes

oh, I get it now. Sheep f*ckers!!11!!!!!!111!!1!!!

Yeeeess.....:shifty:

Anyway, Fablefreak, you could've put it in a more subtle way, try and avoid the F-word, would you?

 

[Vegeta]

Re: Jokes

A blonde walks into a beauty salon with headphones on the lady says no headphones aloud so the blonde takes off the headphones and sits on the couch and later on she dies on the couch.... the hair lady walks over and puts on the headphones it was saying...

Breath in... breath out.... breath in... LOL

 

[Tsuyu]

Re: Jokes

A blonde walks into a beauty salon with headphones on the lady says no headphones aloud so the blonde takes off the headphones and sits on the couch and later on she dies on the couch.... the hair lady walks over and puts on the headphones it was saying...

Breath in... breath out.... breath in... LOL

I've actually both heard and told that one quite a few times in real life.:lol:

 

[Eclipse]

Re: Jokes

A blonde walks into a beauty salon with headphones on the lady says no headphones aloud so the blonde takes off the headphones and sits on the couch and later on she dies on the couch.... the hair lady walks over and puts on the headphones it was saying...

Breath in... breath out.... breath in... LOL[/quote

heard a different version

 

[Eclipse]

Re: Jokes

^^^^^^^^^
have no idea why that happend

 

[FableFreak]

Re: Jokes

Two lawyers are leaving the office. “I can’t wait to get home,” says one of them. “As soon as I walk in the door, I’m going to rip my wife’s panties right off.”

“I know the feeling,” the other says.

“No, I’m serious,” says the first. “They’re killing me.”

 

[FableFreak]

Re: Jokes

A gay man named Roger goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Roger, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Roger is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Roger asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your a**hole is for."