Dear Friends

[Sean]

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for almost six years? Has that person also been your best friend since you were both children? Have you been madly in love with this person since you met them, and they madly in love with you? And you forgive each other for all the mishaps and the wrong doings of both parties and suffer through the struggles and relentless challenges; hoping that at some point in the near or far future there will be a golden end to it; possibly marriage or at least moving in together and living out your dreams and growing old with them? Only for all that to come crumbling down like a castle made of sand? For everything to just crumble to dust and the love fades and now you aren't together, you have a thing for another girl, she has a thing for another guy. And all the things you picture doing with that girl are now being done with another guy, replacing you?

Well in case that hasn't happened to you, it is happening to me. To be quite honest with you, I'm being a pu**y about it, I've gotten extremely depressed, even put a gun to my body and pulled the trigger. I've been given pills in order to just quiet my brain and go to sleep at night. I'm on the verge of insanity and my doctor even suggested that I may need to go to the local mental institution.

I'm not quite sure what to do, or say.

How does one go about handling this? It's honestly hard for me not to cry at the sheer thought of her being around another guy, especially when I'm trying to talk to her on the phone, and another guy answers while she is passed out in bed from being drunk at a party. My friends, I feel like proper shxt.

I'm not asking for pity, just a little helpful advice or wisdom.

 

[ScareCrowReturn]

Run away

 

[Gikoku]

Read the whole thing beginning to end and to tell the truth it made me rather uncomfortable. Specifically because very similar happened to me last year (almost exact). My ex-wife who I had been with for 6 years had been cheating on me for several months prior to our break up and divorce (found out through her phone texts). She seemed like the perfect person for me, I didn't know where I went wrong in the relationship (still don't), but it left me in an extremely depressive state. She didn't care that it hurt me and when I found out, she tried to play the victim then verbally bury me. Kicked her out, we broke up, and so on. I eventually attempted suicide but obviously failed, still ended up hurting myself anyway.

So yeah, I know how you feel and what you're going through.

I went to go see a psychiatrist for awhile after the break up and it didn't do a damn thing for me. What I ended up doing instead was turning to my friends and family, to be in constant contact with someone close to me to assure myself I wasn't some worthless schmuck who is all alone and doesn't deserve anyone. And it helped me out for a good while, but eventually I found someone else who I surprisingly had more in common with than my own ex-wife, and the relationship we had got me out of that gutter. Sadly it didn't last (due to her own personal complications), but we're still good friends and we ended on good terms.

Point being, you can't let your life end or sink to rock bottom just because one person whom you had something special with ended up screwing you over. **** 'em. There's plenty of other people out there who will treat you tons better, but you won't ever find them if you let your life rot away or continue hopelessly pursuing a lie.

My advice? Stay away from her, stop calling her, and push yourself to move on. Keep close to your friends and family. You're young Sean, and you still have a long way to go in life, don't let what happened ruin it. I didn't and I'm fine again, not to mention a bit wiser from it all. I saw my ex with her new lover a couple times when out and about, doesn't bother me anymore, and eventually it won't for you either. It'll take some time to recover from this, but you'll be alright. Trust me.

 

[Angel]

You won't get better advice than that, Sean. Seriously. Take it from someone who clearly knows exactly what you're dealing with and be encouraged that Scott has not only been through it but is now living life on the other side of it - the side where you are a little wiser, a little more tender in places but you've learned and grown through something that is undoubtedly a very tough experience.

I've never been through it (Steve is the longest relationship I've ever been in and my ex was a tosser through and through from the start so doesn't count) so I can't legitimately offer any advice other than to read through what Scott said very carefully, absorb it and refer to it as often as you need to. Because he's right.

 

[Dark Drakan]

Scott has given the best advice and yeah I had a similar thing happen too. My girlfriend of the time was also my best friend and we were together for coming up to 5 years. To cut a long story short, on our anniversary she walked out on me and ended up getting with one of my best friends shortly afterwards and now they are married. I had some very bad times after the breakup and found out who my real friends were and after multiple failed relationships after that I learnt a lot about people and myself and now im engaged. I see them around town but I havent spoken to her since we split 6 years ago and ive spoken to him and say hello but we arent friends anymore. You always think you will never find another person like this one person but then you do and you forget about the past and just use it as a learning curve.

 

[SelfAppointedGunslinger]

Don't know if you've heared this before but this sums up what you're going through pretty well:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c

I've never really had a relationship (don't think I want one after seeing what my friends have been through,) but if you enjoy swimming go to local pool do some. Personally I find it relaxes me and clears my mind.

 

[Tyloric]

I can't speak from relationship experience; I've never really been in a serious relationship. However, I can speak for someone that has been in a suicidal state of mind. You say you took a gun and pulled the trigger? As in, quite literally? To be completely honest with you I'm shocked you weren't put on suicide watch: that is clearly a cry for help.

My advice is to seek immediate psychiatric help. Therapy is an excellent idea. You're in a fragile state and there is really no telling what will push you over the edge. Do not dilly dally, research therapists and psychiatrists right away. Severe depression is not something you want to let fester. A lot of times you can pull yourself out of it, but sometimes you can't. It's not worth finding out which group you're in on your own.

 

[Necromancer]

I'd also recommend taking Gikoku's advice. The only thing that I'd add to it is that in addition to surrounding yourself with people who love and care about you like friends and family, let them know that you're not in a good place and that you need them. I have a friend who has been suicidal after breakups before (his OCD gets the best of him in times like those), and our other friends and I have always made an extra effort to spend time with him and make sure he's having fun when he gets that way. I would assume anyone else would do the same, so let your loved ones know that you could use some help.

 

[Purple Nurple]

This is awful dude, that's a terrible thing to happen to anyone. Remember you have friends in us around the world that love you and don't wanna see you gone.

 

[Sean]

Hello everyone, I came back to reply to everyone.

Thank you everyone for your support and kind words, Scott I probably read your post three times through, I can honestly say it helped me, mentally. I've been doing a lot better than I was, gotten back into sleeping/eating and being around friends more often. I'm still scheduled to meet with a psychiatrist, as there are other things going on with which I wish not to mention, but as for my over-all state, I've greatly improved. Thank you to everyone again, and I look forward to returning to these forums again.

 

[Tsuyu]

Phew.

I've been following the thread, but as I considered myself inexperienced on the subject matter I decided against posting some sort of advice. I'm glad things are starting to look brighter for you.

 

[Gikoku]

Hello everyone, I came back to reply to everyone.

Thank you everyone for your support and kind words, Scott I probably read your post three times through, I can honestly say it helped me, mentally. I've been doing a lot better than I was, gotten back into sleeping/eating and being around friends more often. I'm still scheduled to meet with a psychiatrist, as there are other things going on with which I wish not to mention, but as for my over-all state, I've greatly improved. Thank you to everyone again, and I look forward to returning to these forums again.

I'm glad you're okay man and you're welcome, was getting worried when you hadn't signed on for awhile. We're here for you if you have any problems you wanna get out there, looking forward to seeing you return.