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B---- neighbour.

Hermit

Hermit

Boy next door
Nov 29, 2007
1,008
393
235
La campagna italiana
B---- neighbour.

My neighbour is an old hag, and she's called the police on us multiple times, like 4 times for a loud radio, and when the cop get's here, he/she always says "That's not loud..." And she even called them because she said we partied on the front lawn, Just cause I left a can of redbull and 2 monster cans on the porch.
My cat, Maia, I found her when she was a kitten, her mom abandoned her and her eyes had gotten that, pink-eyeish crust, and she couldn't open her eyes.So she's been with me for about 2 years, and she had 2 litters, one with 3 cats, then about a year later one with 6 (ergh) and we planned to give them away, but things came up.Family bull, no need to bore you with the details.So they just this week turned old enough to get Tagged and Neutered/Spayed, but we noticed that the cats had been dissapearing.My 2 cats, Maia and Ceeaytee(Un-original, I know) just vanished.Then the kittens started leaving ,and we've got 4 left out of 10.This morning I found out where they were going.3 of them are gray, and one os orange with cream stripes.So I was pulling weeds in the back yard, and I hear this high pitched "Mew, meeeew, mewwwww" coming from Old Hag's Backyard, so I look over the wall and the orange cat is stuck in a ****ING CAGE!!!There was a tiny bowl, so it's obvious she lured him there, so I scrambled over the wall, got the cage, scrambled back over and took out the cat and brought him inside with the help of my mom, and I threw the cage as hard as I could.That...that...Grr I wanna say B---- but the ban-hammer is waiting to hit me if I do.Tommorow, My mom and I are going to take wire cutters and destroy that cage, then leave it in her backyard.

That's only one thing i'm going to do to that....Female dog.
I don't usually get revenge, I just let karma handle it.But this is going too far.The little kittens??How could she just....Put them in the pound, all to get at us?!We can't even afford to get them out.I'm going to get revenge.Big time....Any suggestions?:sly::devil:
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

Hooray time for my (very) evil streak to shine! Call the police. And then the RSPC, or the animal protection society you have in your country. If that dosen't work then kill her. Or have your cat scratch her. Very badly. I told you I was evil.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

That actually sounds very disturbing, she is catching all your cats in cages by luring them over your fence?!

What does she do with them once they're caught? Sounds pretty illegal to me.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

Colton;328000 said:
My neighbour is an old hag, and she's called the police on us multiple times, like 4 times for a loud radio, and when the cop get's here, he/she always says "That's not loud..." And she even called them because she said we partied on the front lawn, Just cause I left a can of redbull and 2 monster cans on the porch.
My cat, Maia, I found her when she was a kitten, her mom abandoned her and her eyes had gotten that, pink-eyeish crust, and she couldn't open her eyes.So she's been with me for about 2 years, and she had 2 litters, one with 3 cats, then about a year later one with 6 (ergh) and we planned to give them away, but things came up.Family bull, no need to bore you with the details.So they just this week turned old enough to get Tagged and Neutered/Spayed, but we noticed that the cats had been dissapearing.My 2 cats, Maia and Ceeaytee(Un-original, I know) just vanished.Then the kittens started leaving ,and we've got 4 left out of 10.This morning I found out where they were going.3 of them are gray, and one os orange with cream stripes.So I was pulling weeds in the back yard, and I hear this high pitched "Mew, meeeew, mewwwww" coming from Old Hag's Backyard, so I look over the wall and the orange cat is stuck in a ****ING CAGE!!!There was a tiny bowl, so it's obvious she lured him there, so I scrambled over the wall, got the cage, scrambled back over and took out the cat and brought him inside with the help of my mom, and I threw the cage as hard as I could.That...that...Grr I wanna say B---- but the ban-hammer is waiting to hit me if I do.Tommorow, My mom and I are going to take wire cutters and destroy that cage, then leave it in her backyard.

That's only one thing i'm going to do to that....Female dog.
I don't usually get revenge, I just let karma handle it.But this is going too far.The little kittens??How could she just....Put them in the pound, all to get at us?!We can't even afford to get them out.I'm going to get revenge.Big time....Any suggestions?:sly::devil:
Click to expand...
First, get a rifle license. Then, you buy a super high powered rifle with a scope, aim it at her forehead through her window whilst she is sleeping, and pull the trigger.

OR, you could just compromise.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

  1. Pick up a fair amount of dog crap. Nice and fresh.
  2. Put the fresh dog crap in a paper bag.
  3. Place the paper bag at her doorstep.
  4. Set the bag alight.
  5. Run like hell.

That'll teach her a lesson. :P
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

I definetly think you should call the police.
Not only is that theft, she's taking your pets from you, which is animal cruelty.
Is she even allowed to put them in the pound when they belong to you?
I don't understand why you're expected to pay to get them out when they shouldn't be there in the first place.
I agree with calling the RSPCA, they should be able to help you out.
But I'm guessing animal laws are different in different countries.
I hope you get that sorted out, she sounds like an evil old witch.

Alternatively, try luring her over the fence with a plate of Bourbons and locking her in a cage. See how she likes it.

Let us know the outcome!
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

erm i suggest pranks like egg and toliet paper, bucket of **** on her head, also a brick through the window. water bombs various other annoying stuff that would make me move house.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

Trawgdor;328034 said:
Also, what's bourbons?
Click to expand...

x_x

Bourbons are one of the greatest biscuits out there!

2696132378_293305a7a6.jpg

Perfect for luring an old woman over your garden fence.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

I'm definitely calling the police, the RSPCA, freakin' anyone who'll punish this Female Dog.

It's not a garden fence, it's like cement with those big rocks in it, Cement Rock Walls or w/e.

It took all my willpower not to smash her birdbath and tear up her plants, but she was about to come home, so I got it and ran.I'll probably mess her crap up once she leaves for work.

What did we do to her?
Oh balls, I just realized.She's jealous of my super duper pooper scooper.
For now, I'll listen to some Voltaire and wait for my mom to get back.She probably knows how to word these things better than I.
One day, that sword will be in MY hand....AND ALL WILL BE MIIINE!

Her son was put in jail when I was like, 8, for possesion of cocaine.He had enough Coke in his car to lay waste to 50 scarface's
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

Pile a bunch of newspaper at the corner of her house. Douse the newspaper and the walls in that area with lighter fluid. Light it and go home. Even if the fire doesn't destroy the house and kill her she will have to move.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

I have huge neighbor problems, too.
The old lady behind me calls the cops for fireworks on July 4th.
The chick next to me, I believe, took some of my cats to the pound.
My old neighbors took MY cat and it's kittens and MOVED AWAY WITH THEM.
And our new UBER-CHRISTIAN neighbors overheard me and my friends smack-talking baby Jesus and walked over to claim that our "Cats have been GETTING INTO our cars and peeing and crapping inside of them."
Not only is this a lie, it's ridiculous. . . .In the 7 years we've lived here, none of our neighbors' cars or even OUR cars were "broken into" by cats.
haha
Oh yeah, and one time I walked up on my kitten chopped into 4 pieces scattered across the lawn. We think the old neighbor's violent kid did it.


Sorry for straying off topic.
But you should TOTALLY do what I was planning on doing to my Uber-Jesus Krispy neighbors. . .
Find road-kill and put it on the lowest part of their roof.
And keep piling more every time they have to spatula it off.



lol.
ew...I disgust myself.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

Call the police, no question.

Ah yes, the bitter old hag. A subject on which I have quite a bit of expertice. Since I have had the horror of being able to study the habits of what I would call an "alpha hag" every day, day in and day out, for the past 15 years.

Scientificly classifyed as "B****ious Maximous" but more commonly know as "B****zilla", the bitter old hag is not a creature to be taken lightly. Its characteristics include, but are not limited to, being excessivly naggy, not knowing when to shut up, becomeing uncontrolably enraged over small things, not letting things go, being compleatly unreasonable, and just being an overall b***h. It enjoys watching "The Price is Right", and "Dr. Phil", and making other peoples lives as miserable as possible.

Usually formed when an annoying old housewife is widowed, usually due to a combination of their husband's old age, alchoholism, stress, depression, and loosing the will to live. Having lost its slave of 60 or so years, the bitter old hag turns its oppressive behavior outward, directed at any and all possible. Only to be further enraged when it discovers it has no power over its potential new victims lives. It will then continue to try and control anyone and everyone it can by any means possible. Dispite years of trying, I have found no affective way to shut up, calm, appease, prevent, or stop a bitter old hag from any of its, or its friends (yes, they make friends belive it or not) behaviors.

Further warning, the bitter old hag is an excelent chamelion. When cornered outside of its usual habitat and out in public, the bitter old hag diploys its main defence mechanism. It will very effectivly mimic a normal, sweet, inocent old lady. Further iritating it usually causes it to make its victims look bad by blaming them for everything. If you can enrage it enough (not hard by any means) it will drop the act and show its true colours.

My main test subjects birthday is tomorrow, and I'm still having trouble dissideing whether to get it duct tape or horse tranquilizer. Ah hell, a birthday only comes once a year and they do get more powerful with age, I'l spring for the tranquilizer.

Please do not take any of the above comments as sexist, the bitter old hag has its counterpart of couse, the bitter old man. But I am only an expert on the habbits of the bitter old hag, a bitter old man may or may not exibit similar behavior.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

You should definitely call the police when you first found out what happened.
There's really not much you can do now unless you have solid proof of her stealing or ill-treating the kittens. So don't destroy that cage. Be careful though, she may even accuse you of trespassing if she finds out you were in her backyard. Right now, keep an close eye on the remaining kittens.

Your neighbour just disgusts me.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

If you took back all the kittens she stole, you might be lacking any proof that she did anything. It still might be wise to call the police on her anyway, that would probably stop it from happening again, but its likely she would just get away. If you really want to stick it to her, wait for her to do it agian and then call the cops while she still has the kitten.
 
Re: B---- neighbour.

I say you spread the rumor at the local elementary school that she's a witch, and that she killed her husband and burried him in the backyard.

That way you won't jepordize the lawsuit or whatever investigation, and her house will be toiletpapered, egged, burning dog poo'ed and her lawn will be dug up and trashed.
 
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