Hobbies, time wasters, etc. What are yours?

[DieselFuelOnly]

Seriously, stay at the head end, don't look down if you EVER want sex again (or even a steak dinner) and do not open your mouth unless you are ready to lose your teeth. Nothing enrages a woman in labour more than having her moron of a partner stroking her hair and saying dumb things like, "You can do it. Come on now. Nearly there. I love you." in a patronising tone. Little tip: your missus doesn't love anyone right now and she sure as hell hates you with a passion.

I just spent the last couple minutes laughing my ass off. Every last bit of that is true. Holy s*** xDD

 

[Angel]

I can't remember, and I'm sure she'll correct me if she reads this, but I think I told my mother to **** off when I gave birth to Josh. It was nothing personal, but the mouthpiece for the entonox had come away from the tube supplying the gas and I was becoming increasingly aware of the agony going on which was not what I wanted. Not one little bit. I think at that stage both the midwife and my mum retreated to a safe distance and let me get on with it...

 

[DieselFuelOnly]

I can't remember, and I'm sure she'll correct me if she reads this, but I think I told my mother to f*** off when I gave birth to Josh. It was nothing personal, but the mouthpiece for the entonox had come away from the tube supplying the gas and I was becoming increasingly aware of the agony going on which was not what I wanted. Not one little bit. I think at that stage both the midwife and my mum retreated to a safe distance and let me get on with it...

My sister's husband... During the birth of their first child, he started getting sick in the stomach(about to barf) and said he needed to step out, to that she replied with this: "OH YOU'RE SICK? YOU'RE SICK? YOU SON OF A B**** IF YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM, IT'LL BE THE LAST YOU EVER SEE OF ME"

That's a quote... we heard it outside the room. Caps lock can't even convey it anywhere near the way it actually sounded.

 

[Quistrix]

I won't lie to you - it's motherfudging disgusting stuff. Who in the hell VIDEOS that shizzle?! I've been vaguely with it for all three of mine and a birth partner for when my niece was born and I'm not sure which was the more horrendous experience. Sure, giving birth is a little on the uncomfortable side and with Jake I punched a wall because they wouldn't give me painkillers (ladies, do not do this. It hurts more than labour once you realise what you've done), but watching my sister give birth was just...gross. And the SMELL! Not to mention the involuntary peeing, pooping, farting, vomiting and other unpleasantness they don't prepare you for in antenatal classes (which are a joke in themselves). Seriously, stay at the head end, don't look down if you EVER want sex again (or even a steak dinner) and do not open your mouth unless you are ready to lose your teeth. Nothing enrages a woman in labour more than having her moron of a partner stroking her hair and saying dumb things like, "You can do it. Come on now. Nearly there. I love you." in a patronising tone. Little tip: your missus doesn't love anyone right now and she sure as hell hates you with a passion.

tl;dr - don't look, keep your gob shut and do the hell as you're told. It's better that way, trust me.

brb - having a hysterectomy.

 

[Tsuyu]

Reminds me of that Python skit where the doctors explain that she will be "pooping, peeing and puking in-front of total strangers who will all be staring intensely at your vagina" or something of that nature.

And she turns to her husband and goes "You do it."

 

[queenofdisco]

brb - having a hysterectomy.

What good will you be to the human race if you can't bare children? No good! Thats what!

 

[Quistrix]

What good will you be to the human race if you can't bare children? No good! Thats what!

I'm doing the world a favour by not spreading more of the bumchin-gene into the human genepool.

 

[Gikoku]

I'm doing the world a favour by not spreading more of the bumchin-gene into the human genepool.

Come now, booty-chins ain't so bad.

 

[queenofdisco]

I'm doing the world a favour by not spreading more of the bumchin-gene into the human genepool.

The world needs more bumchins. Fact!

 

[Tsuyu]

Chins? Wha? I'm confused now...

 

[queenofdisco]

John Travolta ^

Kirk Douglas ^

Chevy Chase ^

It is the single greatest gene in the gene pool, fact.