My first two years of high school I was part of a church...so obviously it was discouraged. My parents never disapproved of sex, though. My older brother was never home and wasn't much of an influence on me. However, my twin brother and I wouldn't have thought well of me if I did have sex, though. We're not conservative, that's just how it was. Kind of like the drug and swearing thing. It was mostly to just stay different, I guess.
ok, that's a normal situation for a younger person...
my ex girlfriend pressured me a lot, and I almost gave in but "I wasn't giving enough into the relationship" so she broke it off. Apparently all I had to do was say "no, I want to stay together" for it to stay together. But I'm much too passive to deny other's apparent feelings.
this is also incredibly normal. guys (especially inexperienced ones) can miss implications. this is a very typical case, and i don't see why you would site it as an example for not wanting sex. maybe she was a bit too forward with you, as you were clearly very guarded on the issue, which chalks up to being her fault for being a pushy over-dramatic rather than helping you ease into it. i don't know if it would have been her first time, but when dealing with a virgin as someone more experienced there are certain responsibilities. everyone knows that.
Then she went and slept with some dude she'd seen for a week and started falling into a destructive mindset. Now she's with a girl who puts out readily though she's (my ex) is forcing the relationship on her (the girl). So now my friend is obsessed with sex and her life is kind of ruined and she's become a lesser person for it. She preaches that it's the best thing ever and that I need to do it, but she's a major reason why I'm so deterred.
she obviously had problems from the start. it's a classic case of psycho girlfriend, and if i were you i'd be more glad that i wasn't dating her still. girls like that (and guys for that matter) can have a very negative draining effect. if you had made a thread about this at the time i'm sure you would have been told to get out while you can.
Another reason is another friend who my twin went out with (my friend and brother are both male) and my brother cheated on my friend but now it's my friend's fault and he's banned from the house. My brother is now in a relationship with a whore. Pretty much, they're sex buddies but he (my brother's "boyfriend") insists they're in love.
i'm really afraid to comment on this, but it sounds like your brother has relationship issues more than anything. if he cheated on your friend and messed up your situation with them the blame falls on him: not his lost virginity. it's not like once you get your cherry popped you become a self-sabotaging addict. :lol:
EDIT: after reading tsuyus reply i realized you may not have been literal when you called her a whore... to clarify that would be textbook sexism, in such a case might the source of everything you're on about.
you also that you seem to be holding sex to a very sacred standard. all of us sensitive-types do that before we see the other side. i was totally shocked at how liberal so many girls were in talking about it when i was in early high school. i had some kind of delusional notion that all girls were like upper class ladies of the 18th century, but that could just be because i never bothered to talk to them very much until high school. :lol:
so you're brother is dating a (assumed to be) bona-fide whore. what they have between them is exactly that - between them. judging people (even close family) on their sex life is a downward spiral. if she's just leading him along, he'll catch on eventually and get out himself. it's silly to expect everyone to treat sex like it's a sacred act in a social sense (not spiritual, you're free to believe what you want in that box of cereal) when others are much more exposed, therefore much more open about it.
So, I pretty much think sex is a waste of time and ruins a person. I honestly hate masterbating and I'm ashamed when I do it and I do it as fast as I can to get it over with. This only happens when I'm unproductive, however. I'm an emotional person and I only care about the emotions of others. I don't care what they have down there or to "feel good" like that. I have alternative ways to feel good.
i really think you're being quick to judge other peoples negative experiences for the wrong common factor. there's a saying that goes
love is blind. i'm not going to say it applies to only love, or define what love is, but it definitely applies to intimacy on a sexual level. ESPECIALLY for someone who's more oriented towards being sensitive of others. the rest of the world goes out the window and your mind is focused only on (not necessarily sex) but your relationship with the other person.
your belief that sex makes a persons life go to garbage does hold some merit. but how strong the effect is depends largely on how mature the two people are and what kind of chemistry they have. the sex is there because, well, people in a relationship have sex.
as far as you being straight-edge to the core, hey that's your lifestyle choice. i've always embraced a "don't knock it til you try it" philosophy (within some limits....no hardcore drugs for me thanks). it was literally just the other day when i was thinking to myself that had i not gotten involved with any drugs or alcohol and slipped up academically for a while, i probably never would have tried them and figured that i had made the smart decision. which i would have, i can't deny that. but at the same time, as i am now i don't regret any of it. there's valuable experience in all of it, no matter how foul it seems from your position. it may sound like a paradox, but i'd also argue that it made me more mature exploring the other side and being so familiar with what it's like. i'm bringing this up because i think it applies to everything including sex. my reasons for not trying any drugs or alcohol was literally identical to your mindset, so i can easily understand where you're coming from.
consider this: it took lots of sex between lots of people throughout human history to get you where you are today.
Makes me stand out. I don't particularly care if it's positive or negative...I just want to be different in purity from others. My friends call me a saint since I've never done drugs (yes, including alcohol) and I don't swear (which I swear I've mentioned before).
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