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Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
So what dose every1 think so far PLZ tell me what u think of it
So what dose every1 think so far PLZ tell me what u think of it
Dark Drakan
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Re: A Fable story told by me
Yet another great fan story and nicely layed out aswel...
Fable_Fan005;29386 said:
Yet another great fan story and nicely layed out aswel...
D
darthlime101
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
Keep up the good work.^_^
You are a god among men. They just keep getting better and better. The grammer and puncuation errors make it diffucult to follow but it's still easy to follow.Fable_Fan005;29386 said:
Keep up the good work.^_^
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Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
i know my spelling is bad ill just have to try harder.
i know my spelling is bad ill just have to try harder.
D
dark_steve571
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
with a rockzor story like this spelling doesnt matter keep it up:thumbsup:
with a rockzor story like this spelling doesnt matter keep it up:thumbsup:
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Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
I have the rest of the story on paper but still need to put in on word. so he is the next and i think so far best chapter so far.
[FONT="]Skorn sprints at me with a grin on his face. Alida pulls her bow back and Nagux starts to cast Multi-Arrow. Alida fires her bow the arrow splits into one hundred different ones. Skorn thrust his arms back and a red shield is put up. The arrows are absorbed in the shield. A dark ring starts to form around him it grows with every arrow hitting the shield. Alida and Nagux try again. The ring has grown past us now. Skorn looks up at me and puts his hands in the air. Flames starts to fly out of the ground. Nagux casts a spell on Alida and I dive out of the ring. I look up and look at Alida. She looks at me she has a blue ring around her. I yell to her “Alida RUN!” She starts to run toward me as the ground beneath her starts to glow red. She looks at yells and me me name as blast of fire shots up from beneath her. “NOOOOO” I run into the fiery wasteland as a fire blast shots at me. I roll out of the why. I drop my sword. I land next to Alida. She is barley breathing. I hold her in my arms I start to cry. Nagux is nowhere around. Somehow he put a spell on Alida that saved her? She looks at me and says “Xugan I love you.” My tears fall on her as I say “I love you to Alida.” I kiss her and say, “I will stop him.” I stand still looking at Alida. I look up turn and see Skorn. We are face to face. I grab for my sword and remember I dropped it. He Smiles and punches me twice in the stomach. His claws are out as he swings at me I. Jump back but the still graze me. I grab my wound in pain I look down at my hands and see the blood. As I look up a fist fly’s into my face.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I fall to the ground I have blood coming out of my mouth. He picks me up by the neck and starts to squeeze. I kick him in the gut. He starts to loosen is grip. He extends his claws out. He thrusts them into me. I feel this unbelievable pain in me. I can’t feel any part of my body. He twists his arm and rips it out. I fall to the ground. I fall looking at Alida. He walks over to her. I yell “No not her.” He looks at her and picks her up. He grabs my sword. As he grabs it the blade starts to change. It is now a mix of light and dark. He stabs her in the chest. “NOOOOOO” I cry out in hate. Then a lighting bolt came, as Nagux appeared he had a blue glow in his eyes. He looks at me and says with his lips “For You.” He turns and lets Skorn slice his head off. Skorn drops the swords and start to walk to his father. I start to crawl to the sword. I stand and grab it. I don’t know how I am walking. I start to walk at him with my swords ready for blood.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I reach him and try to swing my sword. I swing but with little strength. He flips and floats into the air. I swing again but he nocks the sword from my hands. He punches me right in the face. I stumble but am still going at him. Land back on the ground. I look at him. I can see my reflection form his ruby like eyes. He grabs me and yell “You can not be a god boy.” I start to think he is right. I lose all hope as in the corner of my eye I see to sprits start to form a being…..[/FONT]
[FONT="]END CHAPTER NINE[/FONT]
I have the rest of the story on paper but still need to put in on word. so he is the next and i think so far best chapter so far.
[FONT="]START CHAPTER NINE[/FONT]
[FONT="]DEATH OF A SON[/FONT]
[FONT="]I fall to the ground I have blood coming out of my mouth. He picks me up by the neck and starts to squeeze. I kick him in the gut. He starts to loosen is grip. He extends his claws out. He thrusts them into me. I feel this unbelievable pain in me. I can’t feel any part of my body. He twists his arm and rips it out. I fall to the ground. I fall looking at Alida. He walks over to her. I yell “No not her.” He looks at her and picks her up. He grabs my sword. As he grabs it the blade starts to change. It is now a mix of light and dark. He stabs her in the chest. “NOOOOOO” I cry out in hate. Then a lighting bolt came, as Nagux appeared he had a blue glow in his eyes. He looks at me and says with his lips “For You.” He turns and lets Skorn slice his head off. Skorn drops the swords and start to walk to his father. I start to crawl to the sword. I stand and grab it. I don’t know how I am walking. I start to walk at him with my swords ready for blood.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I reach him and try to swing my sword. I swing but with little strength. He flips and floats into the air. I swing again but he nocks the sword from my hands. He punches me right in the face. I stumble but am still going at him. Land back on the ground. I look at him. I can see my reflection form his ruby like eyes. He grabs me and yell “You can not be a god boy.” I start to think he is right. I lose all hope as in the corner of my eye I see to sprits start to form a being…..[/FONT]
[FONT="]END CHAPTER NINE[/FONT]
Dark Drakan
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Re: A Fable story told by me
Very good use of emotion!
Very good use of emotion!
Sephiroxas
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Re: A Fable story told by me
good job staying in first person the whole time. and not jumping back and forth.
good job staying in first person the whole time. and not jumping back and forth.
P
Poppycock
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
it is good but realy im sick of all these fan ficts wothout poopycock in them!
it is good but realy im sick of all these fan ficts wothout poopycock in them!
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Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
tHIS IS IT I PUT MY HEART AND SOAL INTO THIS LAST CHAPTER TO MAKE IT THE BEST IT COULD BE I HOPE U LIKE IT PLZ POST WHAT U THINK
[FONT="]“Boy you are nothing to me.” I can only hear those words and Skorn beats me while he slowly strangles me. I think to myself I failed I couldn’t stop him Avo was wrong about me. I cant breath and slowly losing myself to him. He punches me and drops me to the ground. I land facing the blue spirit that is forming. I feel rain start to hit my body. The spirit now has taken the form of a man as rain stops to fall. I look toward the sky and my face hits a raindrop. Hundreds of raindrops are in the air frozen. I look back at the spirit and he starts to walk toward me. He holds out a hand. I take his hand and ask him whom he was. “I am you.” “ME!” “Yes I am every one and thing you hold dear in your heart.” “Why are you here?” “Because Avo has sent me here to give you something.” “Avo sent you?” “Yes he has chosen you to be a Angel” “A Angel?” “Yes a Angel of Avo is someone that has given there live for him.” “I’m dead!” “You are if you don’t fight this monster.” “Then why are you here now?” He doesn’t answer. He just opens his wings and starts to fuse with me. He and I are one being neither a man nor a god…..[/FONT]
[FONT="]I feel the rain start to hit me. The hole in my body is gone. I have grown two wings in my shoulder blades. My eyes glow a holy blue. The world was new and different. I could see the world for what it was. No longer held back by mortal imperfection. I turn and look at Skorn. I see the death and evil poring out of him like a burring fire. I dive to my sword. I turn back to look at him but he is gone. I look up and see Skorn with wings that have decayed and are black. He holds out a hand and a sword appears. It was black as night and had a burring hate within. I fly into the air. The rain hitting my face. I stop looking at Skorn. We dash at each other. Our swords clash together. Our swords are locked I pull back and swing at his legs he blocks my attack. I spin around him and swing again. He soars up higher into the sky. I use a lightning spell on he absorbs it with his and shots it back ten fold. I put my arms in the shape of an X to block the attack I push the lightning down to the ground and it lights a blaze. He starts to make an arcane spell as do I. We fire at the same time. Our attacks are locked in a heated battle. I push my arms out and yell in anger. I think of Alida and Nagux. But for the first time in years I think of my father and mother. A rage is in me and it needs to be set free. I start to feel his attack over power mine. I start to get pushed to the ground. I yell my fathers name into the sky so even Avo can hear me. “TSUYU!” My attack start to push him back. Give it one final push and fly up with the attack. My blast has left him weakened. I stick my sword into him. And one of his ruby eyes cracks. I push him off my sword. And he starts to fall to the ground…[/FONT]
[FONT="]I soar to the ground. I land and head to where Skorn had landed. I see his body lying on the ground. I look at him and smile. “I did it I stop Skorn” “HA HA HA HA boy did you think I would die this easily. “I turn and look in horror” Skorn stand there holding out both hand. A Sword appears in both hands. I look at my sword. “Half light and half dark”. I rip the sword in half. I hold the dark half in my left and the light in my right. I run at him. I swing both swords down at him. He blocks both with one sword. The other is heading at me. I close my eyes. When I open them a shield is protecting me. I swing my swords wildly at him as he Blocks every one. I swing at cut off his head. “I CAN NOT DIE BOY!” he appears behind me. I swing and cut him. I start to sing a song my mother sang to me before bed. The song was about how a great hero saves the worlds from Skorm and restored peace to the world. I swing my swords as hard as I can. I land two more hits. The fire is starting to die as Skorn is beginning to weaken. I stab him once and my sword gets stuck. I swing my other and cut off his hand. He jumps over me and cuts off my arm. I yell and fall to the ground. He walks in front of me. My arm is not bleeding but starting to regenerate back glowing Avos Holy Blue. “You can’t kill a god boy!” “Either can you.” I hit the sword out of his. My Eyes glow brighter and brighter. My wings expand out. My arm is also glowing. I rip my knife of my necklace [/FONT]
[FONT="]I hold it up to his sown lips. “You are no god to me,” I whisper to him as I slice the thread from his lips. His Blood pores into the sky spraying out of his mouth. It is blacker then night. But the blood goes around me. I look as Skorm as he open a gate back to hell.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I pick up my swords and fuse the back together. I walk over to Alida body and carried it to the Heroes guild I buried her in the daemon door that gave me shelter all those years ago.I think to myself what now? Then a voice says, “I can bring her back.”………[/FONT]
[FONT="]START BOOK TWO A CHANGE OF HEAR
[/FONT]
tHIS IS IT I PUT MY HEART AND SOAL INTO THIS LAST CHAPTER TO MAKE IT THE BEST IT COULD BE I HOPE U LIKE IT PLZ POST WHAT U THINK
[FONT="]START CHAPTER TEN[/FONT]
[FONT="]AVOS ANGEL[/FONT]
[FONT="]I feel the rain start to hit me. The hole in my body is gone. I have grown two wings in my shoulder blades. My eyes glow a holy blue. The world was new and different. I could see the world for what it was. No longer held back by mortal imperfection. I turn and look at Skorn. I see the death and evil poring out of him like a burring fire. I dive to my sword. I turn back to look at him but he is gone. I look up and see Skorn with wings that have decayed and are black. He holds out a hand and a sword appears. It was black as night and had a burring hate within. I fly into the air. The rain hitting my face. I stop looking at Skorn. We dash at each other. Our swords clash together. Our swords are locked I pull back and swing at his legs he blocks my attack. I spin around him and swing again. He soars up higher into the sky. I use a lightning spell on he absorbs it with his and shots it back ten fold. I put my arms in the shape of an X to block the attack I push the lightning down to the ground and it lights a blaze. He starts to make an arcane spell as do I. We fire at the same time. Our attacks are locked in a heated battle. I push my arms out and yell in anger. I think of Alida and Nagux. But for the first time in years I think of my father and mother. A rage is in me and it needs to be set free. I start to feel his attack over power mine. I start to get pushed to the ground. I yell my fathers name into the sky so even Avo can hear me. “TSUYU!” My attack start to push him back. Give it one final push and fly up with the attack. My blast has left him weakened. I stick my sword into him. And one of his ruby eyes cracks. I push him off my sword. And he starts to fall to the ground…[/FONT]
[FONT="]I soar to the ground. I land and head to where Skorn had landed. I see his body lying on the ground. I look at him and smile. “I did it I stop Skorn” “HA HA HA HA boy did you think I would die this easily. “I turn and look in horror” Skorn stand there holding out both hand. A Sword appears in both hands. I look at my sword. “Half light and half dark”. I rip the sword in half. I hold the dark half in my left and the light in my right. I run at him. I swing both swords down at him. He blocks both with one sword. The other is heading at me. I close my eyes. When I open them a shield is protecting me. I swing my swords wildly at him as he Blocks every one. I swing at cut off his head. “I CAN NOT DIE BOY!” he appears behind me. I swing and cut him. I start to sing a song my mother sang to me before bed. The song was about how a great hero saves the worlds from Skorm and restored peace to the world. I swing my swords as hard as I can. I land two more hits. The fire is starting to die as Skorn is beginning to weaken. I stab him once and my sword gets stuck. I swing my other and cut off his hand. He jumps over me and cuts off my arm. I yell and fall to the ground. He walks in front of me. My arm is not bleeding but starting to regenerate back glowing Avos Holy Blue. “You can’t kill a god boy!” “Either can you.” I hit the sword out of his. My Eyes glow brighter and brighter. My wings expand out. My arm is also glowing. I rip my knife of my necklace [/FONT]
[FONT="]I hold it up to his sown lips. “You are no god to me,” I whisper to him as I slice the thread from his lips. His Blood pores into the sky spraying out of his mouth. It is blacker then night. But the blood goes around me. I look as Skorm as he open a gate back to hell.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I pick up my swords and fuse the back together. I walk over to Alida body and carried it to the Heroes guild I buried her in the daemon door that gave me shelter all those years ago.I think to myself what now? Then a voice says, “I can bring her back.”………[/FONT]
[FONT="]END CHAPTER TEN[/FONT]
[FONT="]END BOOK ONE “THE BIRTH OF A HERO[/FONT]
[FONT="]START BOOK TWO A CHANGE OF HEAR
[/FONT]
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funky_fable
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
dude i just spent the past 2 hours reading all 9 pages and i have to say your story ISTHE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ and man you are trulya gifted righter and if i were a story publisher i would publish your story in a heartbeat couse that story is KICK-ASS +REP
dude i just spent the past 2 hours reading all 9 pages and i have to say your story ISTHE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ and man you are trulya gifted righter and if i were a story publisher i would publish your story in a heartbeat couse that story is KICK-ASS +REP
Dark Drakan
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Re: A Fable story told by me
Awesome chapter i must say :thumbsup:
Awesome chapter i must say :thumbsup:
V
Vegeta
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
Your books literally brought me to tears it is awesome i started a new fable guy named Xugan because of these i will buy as many copies of it as i can and charish them forever if u publish them thanks 1ak
Your books literally brought me to tears it is awesome i started a new fable guy named Xugan because of these
i will buy as many copies of it as i can and charish them forever if u publish them thanks 1ak
F
Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
WOW thx for the support i think i might send it in to that e-mail adress and see what happens and for some reason i cant edit the post the next book is going to be
A CHANGE OF HEART
After the death of Alida Xugan starts to lose his mind and one day hears a voice telling him there is a way to bring her back. The voice sends him on yet another quest but on this quest Xugan has "A Change of Heart"
Well thats all i can give out right now. i havent started yet but i am thinking of a good plot
Ok i have a little request for any1 that likes my story and can draw,pain, basicly anything that will try to show how Xugan will look so PLZ PM me if any1 wont to help me out THX
Double Post Merged - Dark Drakan
WOW thx for the support i think i might send it in to that e-mail adress and see what happens and for some reason i cant edit the post the next book is going to be
A CHANGE OF HEART
After the death of Alida Xugan starts to lose his mind and one day hears a voice telling him there is a way to bring her back. The voice sends him on yet another quest but on this quest Xugan has "A Change of Heart"
Well thats all i can give out right now. i havent started yet but i am thinking of a good plot
Ok i have a little request for any1 that likes my story and can draw,pain, basicly anything that will try to show how Xugan will look so PLZ PM me if any1 wont to help me out THX
Double Post Merged - Dark Drakan
Sephiroxas
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Re: A Fable story told by me
*freaks out* how come the posts aren't double merged?
*freaks out* how come the posts aren't double merged?
F
Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
Well sine i am done with book 1 and am planing book 2 i was wondering what ppl thought of my first Fan Fiction. So just post what you liked and Disliked (dont bring up the spelling i know its bad). And if any1 wont to give me some ideas i am open to them.
Well sine i am done with book 1 and am planing book 2 i was wondering what ppl thought of my first Fan Fiction. So just post what you liked and Disliked (dont bring up the spelling i know its bad). And if any1 wont to give me some ideas i am open to them.
V
Vegeta
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
I loved that you added gods in it
i didnt like.... well i cant think of anything i disiked lol...
I loved that you added gods in it
i didnt like.... well i cant think of anything i disiked lol...
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Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
ok i have ideas for book 2 but i whould like some help if any1 wont to.
ok i have ideas for book 2 but i whould like some help if any1 wont to.
V
Vegeta
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
i want to pm me with what you need help with (i created my own book) so i can be of use
i want to pm me with what you need help with (i created my own book) so i can be of use
F
Fable_Fan005
Guest
Re: A Fable story told by me
ok thx 1AK
ok thx 1AK