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A fanfic?! No way!

Daniel Ray said:
:P Take your time... I've got a fanfic to rewrite as well...
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Oh you're still rewriting it?

For some reason i thought you abandoned it again :p or it might be because you've got exams coming up and you've yet to start your modelling career :p
 
Chapte 4 is great.. I love how Reaver's character is so accurately brought out in the dialogue.
Cringed a little on the "almost" romance part at the end ;|
Very clever story (:
 
Ss x Britain said:
Chapte 4 is great.. I love how Reaver's character is so accurately brought out in the dialogue.
Cringed a little on the "almost" romance part at the end ;|
Very clever story (:
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Thank ye very muchly!
That cheered me up :D Haha there's not a lot of sexual content but be prepared just in case if you're embarrassed about those scenes ;] Im so glad you mentioned Reaver's character because i was worried that people wouldn't like how I've written him :/
 
This is my Albion said:
Thank ye very muchly!
That cheered me up :D Haha there's not a lot of sexual content but be prepared just in case if you're embarrassed about those scenes ;] Im so glad you mentioned Reaver's character because i was worried that people wouldn't like how I've written him :/
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I can't really imagine him blushing, but his dialogue is spot on :D
 
I noticed that this chapter feels incredibly rushed. :/ Like you were in a real hurry to end it or something. Either that, or I'm just mad at you for not giving Chesty more face time. :P

Also, you didn't give a real reason why the Queen suddenly decided to go to bed in a reflected world in a haunted house. I'm just really bugged by that part... :S

Other than that, everything's fine! The dialogue is top notch! Sometimes, I hear Stephen Fry's voice when reading Reaver's lines out. :D
 
Daniel Ray said:
I noticed that this chapter feels incredibly rushed. :/ Like you were in a real hurry to end it or something. Either that, or I'm just mad at you for not giving Chesty more face time. :P

Also, you didn't give a real reason why the Queen suddenly decided to go to bed in a reflected world in a haunted house. I'm just really bugged by that part... :S

Other than that, everything's fine! The dialogue is top notch! Sometimes, I hear Stephen Fry's voice when reading Reaver's lines out. :D
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She noted that the situation reminded her of Brightwood Tower and therefore hinted at going to bed.. Made sense :)
It was a little rushed because a similar scene happened on Fable 3.. Didn't need description or any of that :)
It seemed rushe because a lot happened in little (and unnecessary) detail :)
 
Ss x Britain said:
She noted that the situation reminded her of Brightwood Tower and therefore hinted at going to bed.. Made sense :)
It was a little rushed because a similar scene happened on Fable 3.. Didn't need description or any of that :)
It seemed rushe because a lot happened in little (and unnecessary) detail :)
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Sorry... I'm thinking in Editor mode. I basically see myself as someone who isn't familiar with the series and see if I someone like that can follow the story. My bad. :P
 
crap, I need to read the story. I haven't for a while sadly :'(
 
Daniel Ray said:
Sorry... I'm thinking in Editor mode. I basically see myself as someone who isn't familiar with the series and see if I someone like that can follow the story. My bad. :P
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I cant imagine someone who is a big enough fan of the franchise to read a fanfic about it, not to know most of the settings. But yeah, Im not a big fan of these chapters where its either filler with a small plot point or its developing relationships :s
 
Ss x Britain said:
She noted that the situation reminded her of Brightwood Tower and therefore hinted at going to bed.. Made sense :)
It was a little rushed because a similar scene happened on Fable 3.. Didn't need description or any of that :)
It seemed rushe because a lot happened in little (and unnecessary) detail :)
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You are awesome ssx! <3
You're awesome too Danny :D
 
Finished. I really enjoyed it especially with the last part with the queen and Reaver, but I do agree with danny that it was a bit too rushed. Everything else though is ok. Love what you did with the sunset house!
 
MazeisMaze said:
Finished. I really enjoyed it especially with the last part with the queen and Reaver, but I do agree with danny that it was a bit too rushed. Everything else though is ok. Love what you did with the sunset house!
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Haha Im glad you enjoyed the overall story. Sorry about the rush though, i had written that chapter around the time i wanted to get to the key plot and then i started to panic because the story became longer and longer so i had to trim a lot of "fat"
 
The next chapter isn't my taste but I guess it gives the story more depth :)
Personally, I'm beginning to find Reaver's personality a little out of place. I see him as more the type that would hide his emotions or layer them with witty humour :/
 
Ss x Britain said:
The next chapter isn't my taste but I guess it gives the story more depth :)
Personally, I'm beginning to find Reaver's personality a little out of place. I see him as more the type that would hide his emotions or layer them with witty humour :/
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Its probably looking at a jekyll and Hyde character at the moment for the audience XD he does soften when the queens around and that's perhaps the "real Reaver." I wanted to write a side to him that nobody has seen in him. He'll revert back to his old ways though (sorta) Ah, i hope you don't have a problem with action scene because there will be a hell of a lot more later into the story :s
 
I would say that I agree with Ssx Brit cause Reaver is becoming less Reaver by the chapter, but I shan't say that because I do see an arc forming through the story. Besides the little typos that are becoming increasingly hard to find, I say well done!

Can't wait to see what will force Reaver to retreat back into his cold shell...
 
I think i just got too close to the project. By the time i was writing the full draft i had already grown accustomed to the characters and stopped seeing them as fables' characters and more my own. Even though i know full well the characters are from the game, after typing it all whenever i play fable 2 or 3 i think to myself "you're not the real characters" or "i know what happens to you." Apparently it was the same for my room mates (who were the test audience XD)

I don't know, i think i just got too close to the story itself to take too much notice of what the characters are like in the game and was hoping that the readers weren't too disgruntled over his (brief?) personality change :p Perhaps you may feel differently when it ends although that's a long way to go.
 
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