Re: Avatards...
I just wanted to poke my head out and say Hi. Having found this place, I finally, after all these years, can say that I hope to have found a small home among all of you.
Perhaps am explanation of who I am would be in order.
I am Tac. I believe, and have for a long time, that inside, I was something different. Something inhuman. I have had countless... countless dreams about pill-popping, about navigating mazes as this weird thing. I could never really describe it, and I was afraid my parents would try to send me to a mental hospital if I told them the truth. By the time I was 15, I was pretty firm in my belief of who, or rather, what I was within. Still, at that time, I couldn't deal with my parents, I still can't... that is an issue I suppose I will solve on my own. I was unable to tell anyone about what I believed. No one would have believed it. No one would have had any idea at all what to think of me if I had told them I was this weird yellow-pie chart thing... I mean... there was no word for it. No animal, to my knowledge, had ever existed like it... not on Earth anyway.
And so the years went on. I kept my secret to myself, and pretended to be normal. There would be no place for me, though who I was, what... I was inside... I knew that could never change.
Then 1980 came. Pacman came. And there it was. It wasn't me, of course. No pixel-generated image of some arcade machine could really capture the species as it is, though it was close, very close. Many times I felt that, during the game, I was re-living countless dreams of fleeing from ghosts. It was enough to just bring tears to my eyes. I went back to the arcade 11 times to play it... it was a lot of quarters... but it was all worth it, to re-live it like that.
I chose the name Tac for simplicity. I feel it is interesting, and I feel that it fits me well. It may not be a Pac name, necessarily, as the language of such a thing is merely comprised of eating dots and avoiding ghosts... but it is a word, I'm sure of it.
Anyhow. I hope I have not intruded into places I should not have.
Peace be with you all.
-Tac
I just wanted to poke my head out and say Hi. Having found this place, I finally, after all these years, can say that I hope to have found a small home among all of you.
Perhaps am explanation of who I am would be in order.
I am Yaw. I believe, and have for a long time, that inside, I was something different. Something inhuman. I have had countless... countless dreams about muttering incoherent bullshit, and messing my pants over the thought of pudding as this stupid thing. I could never really describe it, and I was afraid my parents would try to send me to a mental hospital if I told them the truth. By the time I was 15, I was pretty firm in my belief of who, or rather, what I was within. Still, at that time, I couldn't deal with my parents, I still can't... that is an issue I suppose I will solve on my own. I was unable to tell anyone about what I believed. No one would have believed it. No one would have had any idea at all what to think of me if I had told them I was this weird alien with a TV in my stomach that is useful to everyone but me because from my point of view the damn thing is upside-down... I mean... there was no word for it. No animal, to my knowledge, had ever existed like it... not on Earth anyway.
And so the years went on. I kept my secret to myself, and pretended to be normal. There would be no place for me, though who I was, what... I was inside... I knew that could never change.
Then 1997 came. Teletubbies came. And there it was. It wasn't me, of course. No weirdo in a costume on a mind-numbing kids show could really capture the species as it is, though it was close, very close. Many times I felt that, during the show, I was re-living countless dreams of, well nothing, its all pretty much baby sounds and bright colors, but you get the point. It was enough to just bring tears to my eyes. I watched it for 11 days straight... it was a lot of sleep and brain cells lost, and now my 8 year old calls me a retard... but it was all worth it, to re-live it like that.
I chose the name Yaw for simplicity. I feel it is interesting, and I feel that it fits me well. It may not be a Teletubbie name, necessarily, as the language of such a thing is merely comprised of incoherent babble and an occasional real word... but it is a word that makes you want to punch a baby.
Anyhow. I hope I have not intruded into places I should not have.
Peace be with you all.
-Yaw
we all need to calm down a little.