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Random Fable 3 rants!

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A male hero unable to be best friends with lesbians. Unacceptable!
You can actually. I've done it.

All in all though Fable 3 let me down. Its like the retard baby of Fable 1 and Fable 2, except multiplied by a thousand.

All the flaws, I was really looking forward to having more things to do as king, but instead we get some bullshit about keeping promises and going bankrupt.

My list is as follows.

NPC's are hideous. Out of all the Fable's Fable 1's NPCs looked the best.
Quests are ridiculously horrible. Like seriously, delivering packages? Lame.
No boss fight, we went from bad mofo jack of blades, to one shot lucien, to nothing.
Upgrading the 50 weapons is tedious and pointless. Why couldn't we have just stuck with basic weapons and augmented them? I liked that system.
Managing property is too much trouble. I rent a house out to these people, they drive it to **** and I have to pay to fix it? Double U Tee Eff.
No childhood sequence. I loved that, you really got into your character, seeing how they were as a child. seeing how it all went to ****.
One piece of food. No need to say more.
Expressions, lame. Whats with the whole farting thing?
The latent closet homosexualness. No offense to gays. But I don't like holding hands with dewds. The only dude hands I ever held were my father's when I was "this many" and that one guy who I was dragging into the forest to bury.
Weak story, seriously, you kill like hundreds of ****ing people to get to the castle, so your brother can say, "I'm proud you've turned into a man sunny boy". You just orphaned and widowed like 500 people and that's it?
Finally the rapid digression from the original Fable. Pmolly has almost made me completely give up on the fable franchise and Lionhead. I will be buying Fable IV but if its any worse than fable 3 I will hurl a brick at the studio window. Wherever the **** the studio is located at.

And that just about does it. //nod
 
No expression wheel is the only thing I didn't like, that and not getting to fight the actual Crawler. I didn't like the rent system to start, until I realised by just buying the shops you can be stupid rich. I have like 22 million gold and nothing to spend it on though...
 
The dog is to gimmecky (its there cos it's there) u don't even need to heal it now or give it treats(Dog gets hit by fireball, "DOG, I WILL SAVE YOU", Dog gets up and wags tail,"oh yur okay" then dog has panic attack between guys legs) at least in fable 2 the dog had a story,Right at the end it jumps in front of a bullet to save you "NO POOCHY" then u have a choice to get yur dog back and not be a loner on yur travels. I very much dislike fable 3 dog >:-(
 
Dragon Age?
never played it so dont know.
molyneux tries so hard to evolve the sequels which is great, but Fable 1 -> Fable 2 was a step forward, F2 -> F3 was 2 steps backwards
 
It wouldn't really make sense to have your own army (even though it'd be super cool!) because since the very beginning of the game, you ARE the good guy. You're forced into caring about who should be the one to die: Elise/Elliot or townspeople. Why not kill them all? Why not join Logan? Sure, Albion needs a savior, but I don't like how we were forced to care about certain things.

&I really hated the part when Walter and the hero were at the Mistpeak Monorail station. You know how they went down the elevator then proceeded to go through the entire cave? Why the hell didn't they just use the elevator again? Walter was like, "We gotta find a way out of here!" ...yeah, there's an elevator over there that we just took to get down here - unless of course Reaver Industries isn't interested in making elevators that go up. -____-

I was trying to say that it would have been better if you could become king for your own agenda. So choose the good route and help the people, or choose the evil route and lead a bloody rebellion and become a tyrant. Basically, more choices along the way. Also, good and evil characters look practically the same now, which is stupid. Bring back the halos! And the horns! The wings thing was cool but you could only do it once you had almost completed the game, wtf
 
Finally the rapid digression from the original Fable. Pmolly has almost made me completely give up on the fable franchise and Lionhead. I will be buying Fable IV but if its any worse than fable 3 I will hurl a brick at the studio window. Wherever the f*** the studio is located at.

100% with you all with way with your entire comment. I've got a few dozen hand grenades with Mr. Polly Molly's name writen all over them if he screws us again with F4. You're more than welcome to join the fun! //nod
 
I would like to say a couple of quick things too.

Cons.

1) Glowing trail was a pain in the arse and thats when it was even there (which it sometimes seemed to not bother appearing)
2) NCPS were all twats, none of them were worth marrying apart from Elsie.
3) NO proper or challenging bosses apart from the first merc.
4) No resistance to the revolution, like... how hard would it have been to make one of your followers be a spy for Logan, rather than the whole of Albion be rallied against the king without him knowing or preparing? Mental. it would have made it all more interesting.
5) The reaver's mystery wheel, was obvsiouly left out for DLC, which I will not be buying purely for that fact. So cheeky, to leave out an obvious part of the game so they have something extra to sell.
6) While the slomo kills were amazing and the whole combat was miles better than previous fable's, the slo mo did get annoying sometimes when you are surrounded and need to get back to the action. Just needs to be tweaked.
7) The personal quests, i.e courier etc. Were crap. Waste of time for 1 guild seal. SHould have been done better - i.e fewer personal quests, but each one be a little more epic.
8) Story was too short (you thought they'dve learnt from fable 2). As soon as you have page following you - You go to aurora, rebel, become king all in the span of an hour or so? The only reason I played the game for so long after I became king was because I had to sit and wait for hours on end while money rolled in. If you had some decent money, I think you could complete the kings quests within an hour.
9) Shopping system was crap.
10) Not enough weapon selection - 4 weapons per shop? Boring.
11) Weapon Morph wasn't very well worked. Out of all the auras I could have got was a green aura because i had 1 std? Surely the chance of getting a particular morph should depend on how much something has been done rather than doing one thing and it being put in to a morph pool? I'm sure some of the weapon morphs felt a little irrelevant to some people.
12) PMOL likes the idea of getting the gamer emotionally engrossed in the game, but I hated the villagers this time around. you do a dance to get a guild seal etc whoop de whoop. I wasn't emotionally engrossed. *spolier alert*The ending was really short. boo hoo walter dies and thats it. You get a little scene with theresa and all done. Nothing nearly as epic as fable 2's ending.
13) Reaver and Hero's relationship? Reaver tries to kill you (the only resistance to overthrowing the king, but it was more for himself than the crown when he tries to kill the hero) yet, when you're king you decide to leave him as the most powerful man in albion after yourself? Surely he should be tried after the king or something?
14) Most of the clothing was abit crappy. Why do they offer pjs and a chicken suit but only 1 type of armour?
15) No wraithmarsh, nothing scary or sudden. I.e Fable 2 chesty was very dark and there's the house that suddenly turns from warm snowy shack to burnt down remains in a horrible part of the woods.
16) The game was *maybe not such a bad thing* too humourus. For overthrowing the king and being the leader to defend against the oncoming darkness yet through the whole game it was almost too light and bubbly? Nothing at all scary about having such a huge task. Not quite sure how to say it... The only tension in the whole game was maybe the first choice between Elisie and the Villigers and when you first arrive in aurora.
17) Might have just been a glitch on my play, but did anyone else sit there while the hero cries over walter and think 'why does my hero look a little like the Elephant man?'
18) The hero shouldn't talk... other than having to suddenly use gauntlets to do spells, our hero can now speak?
19) Gauntlets - other than being able to weave 2 spells - whats the point? they could have done that without gauntlets -and also - why is there no proper introduction in to why suddenly you have to have gauntlets to use spells? and Does that mean that the big mercs with gauntlets are all hero's too or that anyone with gauntlets has will? STUPID!
20) why are trolls extinct with no reason?
21) Lack of story to explain fable 2
22) Your fable 2 doesn't effect fable 3 at all.


Pros.

1) The development of Driftwood was incredible. From 3 caravans to a whole harbour and mine pretty much. Developed really well through the game and was beautiful when it was all finished. - They should have added a few elements like this to other cities.
2) Weapon Morph.
3) Cool warrior armour
4) Property map was awesome. Rather than having to visit every house you just go on a map with some money and buy.
5) Fast Travel was better.
6) Balverines were good and also quite scary enemies.
7) Reaver.
8) Chicken races

Can't think of more at the moment. There's alot more pro's than I've written. But was just abit grumpy since I completed it and it wasn't what i hoped for.
 
oh also - why waste time on an easthare egg that is useless - spend it on an extra quest! Stupid Lionhead.
 
I liked the game mostly besides the bugs before they patched them, the expression wheel, and the guild seals. Seriously, don't you only have ONE? How are you SPENDING them?
 
They should have just called them experience points to stop the confusion.
 
It bothered me in 2 and 3, that even when I have millions of gold, my dog is still wasting my time digging up cheap nonsense. :@ Even the odd diamond is meaningless to me, when I could buy all the diamonds in the stores.
 
It bothered me in 2 and 3, that even when I have millions of gold, my dog is still wasting my time digging up cheap nonsense. :@ Even the odd diamond is meaningless to me, when I could buy all the diamonds in the stores.
Definitely. I (stupidly) bought the 5 star dog potion expecting to yield better treasure from the beginning of a new game. It doesn't. It comes back to the "boring treasure" comment from earlier. Why oh why would we ever enjoy; as King, digging up Jets and 300G?? ...... boring!!!!
 
.... Buuuuut I had forgotten all the girl-heroes in Fable are simply GIANTS..! I couldn't find not a single man who would've been taller than her, and gave up.

The solution to this is don't use guns...like EVER. My first girl used guns all the time and she ended up the size of the Terminator, my second girl I made sure to never use guns and her figure remained relatively small and because she used swords she wasn't muscular either, so everyone was essentially bigger than her...except Elliot for some reason, the ****ing midget.
I played this game through 4 times myself, you pick up a few things, play through using only magic and your character stays exactly the same size as when your adventure began. xP
 
I've only had to start over once... and that was because I hated my sword and I flourished all the gnomes. My female wont get taller because I rarely use my gun (terrible aim is an understatement...even if the gun is guided...>.>). Like in the last game, the family systems turns into kinda a pain in the buuuutt. Thankfully, I plan on marrying a friend.
The story I actually enjoyed a great deal. Nothing like a prince or princess over throwing their brother and either saving the place or watching it burn. I liked gathering followers and some of the quest were actually a lot of fun (Max and Same grew on me in Fable 2, loved seeing them again... though dead).
If you wanted to play an evil character, yeah, it was a bit odd having a seemingly good character to start with. But I've always been one for thinking of a personality in my head for any mute/roleplayed characters. I justified being evil because of Logan killing Elliot (which I was kinda shocked that was one of the first options) and going crazy. I mean, in Fable 2 it was hard to be evil because the game was about avenging the hero's sister and killing Lucien (dun think Rose would have been happy with the thought of her sibling destroying the towns, and Hammer seemingly becomes your best friend either way). In Fable 3, it's pretty much 'I want to rule the place cause my brother bites and the best way to gain followers is to make deals and then break them. What are they gonna do? Attack me? I know their plans now".
The store system was pretty cool in my option, scrolling through the list was a pain sometimes. Sadly, being unable to see your invo causes a headache of trying to remember everything that you have. Friend's quest... meh, give or take. It was easier to just flirt your way into good deals then to deliver packages and dig up treasures.
The option to adopt was my favorite addition though. No more cheating to have children (which was really all I wanted in the previous games. Kids, no husband/wife). Wish you could change their outfits though.

Gnomes FTW. Sick little creepers right there. xD

Well, that was things that seemed good. Now bad things.

WHY DID YOU IMPORT THE AUTOSAVE SO IT SAVED WHEN YOU CHANGED MAPS, LIONHEAD????!!!! Dx< Sometimes I just want to slaughter a city and run for the heck of it and then shut the game off as if nothing happened. Not kill everyone, run to a different map and SAVE! Thankfully I caught that the first time I tried and shut the xbox off. I also don't like having to take one person at a time. I'm known for gathering large groups of citizens and taking them to Wraithmarsh or the Hobbe Cave or the Shadow Temple. Can't do that anymore apparently. I mean, I could take one at a time but where is the fun in that?
Lack of abilities was another kicker. Couldn't upgrade speed or defense or aim. And this added to the lack of weapon choices was frustrating. I want my cleavers and axes back, kay thanks.
Why did they take out the darker creatures, like Banshees? Plenty of people were waiting to see what monsters would come out, but LionHead seemed to have taken away a lot (and added more freakin' Hobbes). I believe MourningWood (hahahahahahahaha) was suppose to be the scary part (I hate Hobbes, so the Monorail Station was actually kinda freaky for me). But the scariness is taken away when it's only Hollowmen and Hobbes and there is a small town close by. And there are so many at a time. o_o If you didn't want to use magic, you had no choice unless you co-oped. Or had fast reflexes.
The world kinda seems smaller too. :d It doesn't take long to memorize the maps (cept for Mistpeak, never seem to figure out where the caves were).
Also, lack of hair styles. e_o I mean, you can make the male character really nice looking, but the female...>.> Even makeup doesn't help, and masks are kinda hard to come by (you get two, if I recall). Missing the dreadlocks, long hair, pigtails, and HATS! There are not enough hats in the game. Clothing choices are pretty slim anyway. However, being able to wear almost anything was nice. Villagers didn't hate you because of clothing choice; "You must be evil because you are wearing a bandit shirt though we see you all the time and you've been nothing but helpful!"
And spending 80mp for black dye kinda made me die a bit inside.
While the storyline was okay, it did lack a lot of depth. Second half was like "Ooookay, now I have to rule and can do very little cause, oh hey, the old lady FAILED to mention that we'll all die unless we have enough money. :D" Buying houses is the way to go, btw. o_ob Do some of those friendship quest or leveling up weapons before that point in the game and you are golden.

......rant rant rant~
 
Some *sshole entered my game and I allowed him/her to tag along while I completed a round of decisions in the throne room. I went up to manage my husband who I had since the beginning and had two kids with and had just moved into the castle...I had a third child's bed so I decided to have unprotected with.
Anyhow, dude was just lingering in my game and when I was about to have my hero Queen do the business with her husband and this dude steps up and makes it a threeway. Now...that didn't really upset me that much as no child was conceived, but it was like...uh, whatever, you just had gay bi sex swinger sex with my queen and her husband. Fine.
Apparently the person had post coital regret and decided to murder the husband with a pistol. Stupid jerk. I had that file on for a week and he ruined it because he's a homophobe prick who had the choice in the first place to not have sex if he wanted to. He could have just left, but the idiot stuck around and then he shoots my character's NPC husband over it. I wasn't even aware you could shoot someone else's NPCs without them having their safety off...What the hockey sticks. Now the kids are in the orphanage and the partner I had attached to my queen and grown attached to keeping around is gone. The principle of having to redo or start again is what ****es me off.
Well, anyway...I discovered Dragon Age and it is totally awesome. I actually have to think very carefully about pretty much all of my decisions and I actually have an opportunity to do multiple saves to revise my path should I choose. The environment and background aren't so pretty as Fable, but I don't really mind. I like that it's like Oblivion where I get to customize my character's face. Kind of do like Fable's ability to adjust clothing and color to such a degree, better.
OK incomplete rant....what ever.
 
Yeah - no scary baddies in this game?

Banshees, trolls have completely vanished!

Also - wraithmarsh was really scary in F2. why scrap it and make mourningwood so unscary?
 
i hated the part where walter said "boo" and that hob died. it was so unfunny, it disgusted me. yep.
I understand how you feel about this one. However, I think it would've actually been better if the "boo!" had been more dramatic [what comes to mind is the scene from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie where Jack Sparrow does that yell to see if Will's dad is awake], while making the hobbe death less dramatic and more quick/plain. They made the hobbe's dying sequence so overdramatic that it looked ridiculous and stupid.

I like that it's like Oblivion where I get to customize my character's face. Kind of do like Fable's ability to adjust clothing and color to such a degree, better.
I feel that Dragon Age has a much better face customization system than Oblivion does.

They should have just called them experience points to stop the confusion.
How the hell can anyone of at least average intellect get "confused" by this system? I would hate to see what such people would say about a game like Final Fantasy Tactics or something.



I really want the expression wheel back - if anything, just so I won't have to hear annoying complaints from insecure closet homophobes whining about the dance expression.
 
How the hell can anyone of at least average intellect get "confused" by this system? I would hate to see what such people would say about a game like Final Fantasy Tactics or something.

I really want the expression wheel back - if anything, just so I won't have to hear annoying complaints from insecure closet homophobes whining about the dance expression.

Lol about getting confused by the guild seal/ experience. It would seem to all those people confused by the system were overlooked by Lion head when trying to simplify the game!

Being an insecure closet homophone myself (joke), it wasn't so much with dancing around with men, it was just that the dance lasted for ages. Fair enough doing a little dance - like a jig, but doing a full blown dirty dancing scene everytime got tiring.
 
I really want the expression wheel back - if anything, just so I won't have to hear annoying complaints from insecure closet homophobes whining about the dance expression.

Yep, my wife and I definitely agree on your theory there......idiot.
 
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