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Oh God, Again?

Skotekal

Skotekal

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Oh God, Again?

So, awhile ago one of my good friends killed himself. It still kinda hurts to think about, but time heals wounds. But guess what happened today? That's right, my cousin just killed himself. Greg.

Why? Just why? How can life be so ****ing hard that you commit suicide? Just why? I don't understand. God, my uncle is ****ing devastated, and he has 2 kids, and 2 more on the way.

So, anyone else know people who have killed themselves? Share experiences? I don't really want this to be a selfish one-way thread.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

A Girlfriend I had, My Grandpa and One of my cousins... It happens... I dunno what to say. It's ****ing lame to kill yourself. Life can't be hard enough for that. It's just how much you can take and if you can find a sufficent way to deal or escape the pain... Sorry for your loss.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

that's absolutely terrible! i'm so ****ing sorry that it happened.
you're probably devastated too, so i won't go into my feelings on suicide. thankfully i've never had to go through the trauma myself, but i have friends who have and i've seen the damage it can cause.

seriously, that's completely ****ed.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Is it douchy of me to keep my mind on other things so I don't think about it? Because right now, I'm the only one who isn't crying and keeping a straight head. Well, my dad isn't crying, but he shows being upset through rage.

And I just had to listen to my other cousin... and that has got to be the saddest thing I've ever heard. Poor girl.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Skotekal;408578 said:
Is it douchy of me to keep my mind on other things so I don't think about it?
Click to expand...
well, not really. it is a pretty common coping mechanism. but facts are facts. you're going to have to face it sooner or later.
as much as i hate a lot of psychology (even though i find most of it to be true), mostly because i hate being categorized, the 5 stages of loss are pretty accurate. you won't ever reach acceptance by changing the subject in your mind.
so is it douchey?
no
is it unhealthy?
absolutely

keeping inside and letting build isn't going to get you anywhere. you're probably better off getting over it at the same time as the rest of your family.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Agreed with cheez here. It's awful, but the sooner you get it out, the sooner you'll feel better. It took me two years to realize that one. That really sucks man, Sorry I can't be of more help.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Its all good, and thanks for the help cheez. I'm kind of glad I'm holding it in though, I've been able to make my brother laugh, and we have been having a good time. Just been playing UFC and making jokes. Although he keeps whooping my ass. :lol:

But I will take your suggestion into consideration, you are most likely right.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Hey, you can always wait a week if you need to be strong for others, just try to get it out. This probably won't help, but nice-ass Cutlass Redtane and Rivan Robe :D
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Thanks. :P

Man, this situation is just ****ed. The less I know the better. Poor kids though, harsh having to wake up and being told your father isn't coming.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

I've seriously considered suicide in the past, but my head was in a good enough place that the knowledge that my family would be devastated kept me from going there.

What I don't agree with (although I understand it) is people being angry at the victim (perpetrator?). It's their life, it's their choice. By all means be sad for them, but don't hate them for it.

My unlce commited suicide, my friends sister, and my other uncle sorta did.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Your cousin had two kids, and two on the way? Or were you talking about your uncle?

If the former is the case, then I strongly disagree with Arseface. It definitely isn't just his life - he will be affecting everyone in his immediate family with some extremely traumatising emotions and even hardship, especially if he was the key supporter for his family's wellbeing.

How old was your cousin Skotekal?
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

It's similar to the Pro life/pro choice debate. Who's right is more important? The person's right to kill themselves, or the person's families right to keep their loved one?

One thing, and this is a problem I faced when I was contemplating suicide: I wanted to kill myself, but I felt like I couldn't because of the burden it would have placed on my family. I felt trapped, and that's not a nice feeling. Much worse than the actual feeling of wanting to kill yourself.

But what is worse? Growing up without a father, or growing up with (what seems to be) a seriously depressed father, which could lead to other psychological problems? Neither is really an attractive option.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Without is better. For sure.

If I take my life and leave two kids and twins on the way, that's f***ed up. Seriously. I've contemplated suicide for a long time, but it just isn't worth it.

Individually, you face the Death and face the After- or Living with the poison that's killing you. It's a hard choice.

Then you have your ties. I could die, then my family is hurt, my progress will mean nothing, all I have done will become a reminder of the fact I took my own life, rather than what it was meant to be.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

A friend of mine's father committed suicide, leaving no money or possessions to his family due to him not writing a will. (He was the owner of a large company here, and after his death the company kept his shares due to debt)

As a result, my friend had to drop out of school to single-handedly support his disabled mother and younger sister by getting a job as an intern in his own father's company, which paid him the equivalent of around 100 British Pounds a month.
(The woman who took over as CEO saw he was desperate and inexperienced, so decided to take advantage of it by paying him far less than what the job is worth)

But hey, at least his life is better than if his father was still alive and depressed, right Arseface?
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

droded;408622 said:
A friend of mine's father committed suicide, leaving no money or possessions to his family due to him not writing a will. (He was the owner of a large company here, and after his death the company kept his shares due to debt)

As a result, my friend had to drop out of school to single-handedly support his disabled mother and younger sister by getting a job as an intern in his own father's company, which paid him the equivalent of around 100 British Pounds a month.
(The woman who took over as CEO saw he was desperate and inexperienced, so decided to take advantage of it by paying him far less than what the job is worth)

But hey, at least his life is better than if his father was still alive and depressed, right Arseface?
Click to expand...

You can't compare the oversight of a depressed man's mistake with another man's view like that. Seriously. In most senses, Arseface is right. Sadly, if oversights like that happen, it shames the process even more, to the point of damning your family. I feel that is an incomparable argument.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

That sucks man, I have known two people that have killed themselves, an old friend of mine hanged himself (We had lost contact, I had only found out through local news) and a girl that I knew killed herself with a gun, I was unlucky enough to be the one to find her. Still haunts me to day, probably the root of my psychological irregularities.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Personally, I find suicide the ultimate act of selfishness. You're taking everyone who ever loved you or liked you and those you have affected in one way or another and ending it. I feel that with Abortion. If you like it or not, you have shared your life with everyone around you, and taking that away is selfish to me. Just like taking a life that hasn't even started yet because you couldn't bare the burden of life even though you took the risk yourself (other than the case of rape. But I still stand by my stance in the matter. You're personal feelings should never interfere with another's life. That to me is more wrong than affecting anyone negatively). Ultimately, it is the person's own life and they can do what they please with it.

I understand your nonchalant behavior toward the whole thing. After my grandmother died (where I cried profusely) I have yet to cry at death (though there hasn't been any). It will probably catch up with you sooner or later and you might not even understand if you become in a very low state of mind. You can mourn without crying, it's just the easiest way for many people and it's a physical sign of mourning.

Being mad is normal, and by my opinions, is justifiable. Perhaps not to everyone, which is fine and expected. But you are your own person and you deserve to feel the way you want to feel. You should just try to understand why you feel the way you do so people aren't just like "ugh, why is he so angry, he has no right...blah blah blah."

I know if one of my friends or family committed suicide I would be angry with them. To me that shows that they don't care for anyone else. But I have to remember that they probably don't feel loved or cared for which would have been a likely cause of it.

Anyway, enough blabbing.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

Being someone who has tried to kill himself, it's a scary state of mind to be in. It's not something you can really understand unless you've experienced first hand. It is a selfish thing to do, but that's only part of the picture.

Try to picture it from their point of view. Maybe they felt that alone, maybe they honestly thought no one would miss them. I used to have that point of view, I used to be that heart broken.

I'm not trying to justify suicide, but you guys are acting as if the person who has actually killed themselves wasn't suffering at all, and that is just as selfish.
 
Re: Oh God, Again?

cheezMcNASTY;408576 said:
you're probably devastated too, so i won't go into my feelings on suicide.
Click to expand...
looks like droded and arseface opened that pandora's box, so i guess i'll share my 2 cents.

droded is absolutely right. suicide is a 100% selfish crime. some may claim that others are "too burdened" by their existence or some similar bull****. the fact is, suicide is you giving up on the world, and putting everyone who knows and cares for you through unnecessary hardship just because your life is so hard. your life. imagine how hard you're making 20+ lives just by ending yours.

it is without a doubt a selfish and *****y way to end your life. so yeah, don't be mad at people who commit suicide, pity their weak will.

Tyloric;408688 said:
Being someone who has tried to kill himself, it's a scary state of mind to be in. It's not something you can really understand unless you've experienced first hand. It is a selfish thing to do, but that's only part of the picture.

Try to picture it from their point of view. Maybe they felt that alone, maybe they honestly thought no one would miss them. I used to have that point of view, I used to be that heart broken.

I'm not trying to justify suicide, but you guys are acting as if the person who has actually killed themselves wasn't suffering at all, and that is just as selfish.
Click to expand...

of course their suffering, but they are forgetting something very important: they are not alone. if suicide truly were a victimless crime (yes, techincally it is a crime), then i wouldn't give a crap either way. but the fact is you aren't born from a test tube, you don't go to school in a cubicle, you don't go to work in solitude. everybody knows somebody. there was a kid who constantly bullied and picked on my brother for being disabled, and guess what? he overdosed on drugs. my brother went to his funeral knowing full well this kid was a complete prick to him in real life. no matter what type of interaction you have with the people around you, it's still wrong.
so yeah, i'll put myself in their shoes. but guess what? all i see is someone too absorbed in their own hard life to realize just how many people would show up to their funeral.
 
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